In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.” - Thomas Fuller
In recent months, I have taken on board a number of coaching clients that has allowed me to gain more insight into what many of you guys are struggling with.
While initially all my clients have been focused on getting things “done” and learning “new skills”, I am always steering them in what may seem the opposite direction. That being: developing their character, blasting through their limiting beliefs, and helping them take the focus off external circumstances they cannot control and back onto internal processes which puts them in the driver’s seat.
As part of this process, there is one fundamental misunderstanding that the majority of men make when learning the process of connecting and interacting with women. That fact is that women don’t date men based on ONE particular skill or quality. When women are in the process of selecting a mate, they are looking for an “entire package”. And, no — not the one that you may be thinking of. Therefore, the focus should not be on getting one component exactly right, but getting the right amount of components together and integrating them fully.
Let’s take the example of the iceberg. Now, the point behind the iceberg theory is that only 10% of the actual iceberg is visible from above the water. While a massive 90% is beneath the water.
In 2005 Steve Jobs did a speech to a huge cast of college graduates. What he shared with them were some principles which were potentially life transforming.
There was one in particular that I truly connected with. And, it’s one that I believe will help you over your FEARS when you feel like: everything is on the line.
Perspective changes our world. And, that changes everything.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection. ~Buddha
I know “that” woman you are talking about. Ok, maybe not personally, but I know that you think she is the one woman or the one kind of woman that would really make all your dreams come true. Maybe she is uber hot. Maybe she is seriously sexy. Maybe you think you would have a killer connection with her. Fill in the blanks however you please.
Whether it’s a celebrity fantasy like Kim Kardashian, Angeline Jolie, Megan Fox or Jessica Alba; or it’s the girl next door; the girl at work; the best friend who you want to get to know in the “other way” – the same question keeps coming up.
“How do I get a girl like “that” to date a guy like me?”
Which is usually followed by a whole bunch of reasons your “mind” makes up which disqualifies you from dating a woman like this. In fact, the mind is a very powerful thing. And, even if a woman like “that” was interested in you – with that current mindset either you wouldn’t see it, or you would sabotage the process so a girl like “that” would eventually lose interest in you.
Now, I’m not going to go on another rant about how important mindset and self esteem is when attracting and dating good quality women (or maybe I am). I would suggest that if you can’t relate to any of what I’m saying – it’s probably because you have grown beyond this point. Congratulations. For everyone else .. keep reading. Click here to read more »
A big part of what I talk about revolves around this idea of indifference. Now, this can be quite tricky to apply if you don’t understand the basic premise behind it. I often see and observe men who have read a pick up book or have seen a cool 5 minute video on youtube and want to try out this whole “Act like I’m disinterested even though I really am”. And, usually it backfires in their face leaving the girl irritated, confused, and thinking “What is with that dude?” Heck, I’ve even seen my own brother try to do it with his current girlfriend, and I just shake my head and say to him, “She’ll see straight through it”. And, guess what? She usually does.
Problem: You really like this ONE girl, but for some reason you don’t know how to spark her interest. And, the harder you try, the more futile it appears to become. I get the same emails from a variety of different men all with the same fundamental problem, which I want to handle once and for all.
So, I ask you one question: Why this girl?
And, I’m sure that you will notice your mind start to spit out all sorts of different reasons. She is so funny, great, kind, attractive, different, etc. Some of you may find yourself drifting into some mental coma fantasy, dreaming about all the wonderful things you like and would like to do with this woman. Some of you may not even know what you like about this woman. In fact, all you may know is that you have the hots for her bad.
So, this leads me to the second problem I see. You like this girl and you have no freaking idea on how to get her interested in you. You don’t know how she feels. You don’t know how to spark her interest. You don’t know how to get her to breakup with her boyfriend and start dating you etc. Click here to read more »
I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.
I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.
Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.
Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.
If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.
That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things. Click here to read more »
Persistence, persistence, persistence. How important is this truly when it comes to attracting women? Does it really make all the difference? Is it the key factor that the average man misses completely? And, if so, how does it really work? Well, I can tell you right now that persistence is so incredibly important in the attraction process. The reason for this is because it establishes and builds trust with a woman. Trust isn’t everything to a woman, but it’s certainly one of the fundamental bases you will need to build with her.
So first I want you to understand a fundamental distinction that will allow you to gauge whether a woman is truly interested in you. There are two things you need to look out for. Her sincerity and her responsiveness to your leadership. Her sincerity is gauged by the correlation between what she says and how she acts. The more she follows through on her words and actions in response to you, the better. Responsiveness to your leadership is gauged by her ability to follow when you initiate something. Whether that be encouraging her openness, spending more time with you, or trying something new with you. A woman’s responsiveness to your leadership is a really great way to gauge her attraction for you: conscious or unconscious. Click here to read more »
I just so happen to stumble across this very interesting website which talks about the different meanings of love and what it means to couples and people all around the world.
Sometimes I hesitate to talk about love. Because, it’s one of these topics which is undervalued and over analyzed. In fact I would go as far to say that love is one of those things that is only really talked about when something is wrong with it.
In many ways, our society can’t handle true, romantic, happy, passionate love. To many, it’s simply unbearable. Because the people who experience such love is very limited. So, instead of; talking about love or expressing romantic love it is; suppressed, ignored or nullified. To talk about love seems boring, unnecessary and plain unrealistic.
With that in mind, let’s talk about love. Because, despite what the majority of society may believe I think love is; exciting, delightful, deep, eye opening, and incredibly fulfilling. Click here to read more »
There is an interesting phenomena my attention has been drawn to recently. It’s noticeable when a man has little problem attracting a desirable woman, yet witnesses a barrage of challenges in keeping her interested and happy. This can be devastating and (not to mention) baffling.
It doesn’t make sense, unless one becomes aware of the difference between triggering attraction and developing a relationship.
I’m drawn back to a memory of reading David Deangelo’s “Double Your Dating” which exposed me to a myriad of theories and skills to attract a woman. Yet, all he teaches about “keeping” a woman interested is boiled down to one line. That being, “once you get a woman, keep doing whatever you are doing.” And it’s not nearly as helpful or truthful as one might first think.
If this was the truth then pick up artists or men who learn about seducing and attracting women, would all have a great relationship with a woman they truly desired. Instead, they end up dodging from woman to woman, temporarily trying to satisfy an insatiable need. You could call it skimming the surface as these men are cautious and want to pull the plug before it gets too deep. Anything deeper will only open a whole can of worms, which for the moment do not want to be uncovered. Click here to read more »
Myth: Once you rope a woman you are in – you don’t have to maintain her …
Ever had this experience. Walking up to a chick, somehow catching her attention and then not knowing what to say, how to act or how to move the conversation you are having with her into a “date” or a “lets catch up again some time again”. What about this. Going on a couple of dates with a girl, using some cocky funny humour, telling her some funny stories, charming her with your learned “alpha male characteristics” and then wondering … oh F**K what do I do next? Or oh F**K, I’ve used up all my material! Or oh F**K now she is interested in me, how do I keep this going?
Do you just keep doing the same stuff that you have always been doing? Can you just use the same material over and over again and hope that she isn’t like a normal human being who actually needs and desires some sense of variety and excitement?
I mean attracting a woman is going to be your biggest hurdle right? I mean once you have her attracted to her, its all smooth sailing. Its all hugs and kisses and minimal drama. Its all handled. Like you were the dog, she was the car and now you caught her … right?! Click here to read more »
In recent months, I have taken on board a number of coaching clients that has allowed me to gain more insight into what many of you guys are struggling with.
