In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
“Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another.” ~Kenny Ausubel
Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.
Now, I’m not going to go down the traditional route of all the typical relationship advice and say things like communication, listening, and understanding are all required. It’s pretty obvious that all of these are important. And, I don’t want to spend much more time on it because quite frankly I’m bored of it. Yes, they are all important. In fact, they help keep a couple bonded together and connected in various ways. But doing these things alone will result in a hot romance turning into a nice lifelong friendship if you don’t watch out. Click here to read more »
A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again, Matt
Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.
It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »
“While your advice in attracting women is some of the best I’ve seen, the problem is that the problem doesn’t stop there. The real question is: How do you maintain that attraction and sex appeal when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances, and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults. What do men need to do to stay sexy to their committed women, while possibly working 10 hours a day and taking care of other daily responsibilities and duties. – D ”
#1 Knowing what’s really important …
Awesome question! Now, I’m going to highlight where I see the problem, “How do you maintain that attraction when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults.” Since, when did the goal of any relationship lead to the marriage, the house, and the kids? Since, when does one need to “stop being in love” and get on with “being responsible”? Click here to read more »
I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.
I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.
Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.
Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.
If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.
That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things. Click here to read more »
Compliments, compliments, compliments. Do you give them? Do you withhold them? Do women even like them to begin with? Does complimenting a woman help her become more attracted to you? I know how incredibly confusing this question of whether to give compliments or whether to withhold them really is. Especially, since there are conflicting theories on their effectiveness in attracting women.
In light of this, my aim is to clear out the fog and to give you an woman’s perspective on the true meaning of compliments. My aim is to show you a much more effective, effortless, and natural way to create initial attraction; and most importantly, MAINTAIN that attraction with her.
What your typical woman will say about compliments.
Now, if you go around and ask your average/typical girl if she would be attracted to a guy who gives her plenty of compliments – she will literally clasp her hands together and in a high shrill voice say, “Of coooourse! I love them!” Then she will proceed to go out with her girlfriends to a nightclub, receive 10 or 20 compliments in the space of about 10 minutes and disregard all the men that are throwing all these lovely words at her.
So, here is the secret. Women like the “idea” of being showered in compliments rather than the “reality” of being showered in compliments. In fact, a woman being thrown compliments left, right, and center ONLY wants to do ONE thing. And, that is to take a shower! And, no, not the type of showering that you get to watch or participate in. Click here to read more »
I just so happen to stumble across this very interesting website which talks about the different meanings of love and what it means to couples and people all around the world.
Sometimes I hesitate to talk about love. Because, it’s one of these topics which is undervalued and over analyzed. In fact I would go as far to say that love is one of those things that is only really talked about when something is wrong with it.
In many ways, our society can’t handle true, romantic, happy, passionate love. To many, it’s simply unbearable. Because the people who experience such love is very limited. So, instead of; talking about love or expressing romantic love it is; suppressed, ignored or nullified. To talk about love seems boring, unnecessary and plain unrealistic.
With that in mind, let’s talk about love. Because, despite what the majority of society may believe I think love is; exciting, delightful, deep, eye opening, and incredibly fulfilling. Click here to read more »
Well that sounds like a completely bratty statement doesn’t it? And you want to know the truth? Well the truth is, this phrase “I’m only high maintenance, if you don’t maintain me” came out of my mouth whilst talking to a friend recently. And it’s my guess women would admit this, if they really understood how perfectly it surmised how they felt.
So let me break it down for you guys. Let me show you: what this really means, how you can overcome it, and how to apply it. I will show you a proactive approach, which will minimize the level of drama, testing, and needy behavior with ANY woman.
Now I can’t attribute this theory entirely to myself. In fact this theory is dedicated to a man who actually has real time experience of how low maintenance women can truly be. This is dedicated to a man who actually finds it amusing to see other men around him being constantly tested. He is incredibly insightful and in the near future I may steal him for an interview to pick his brains and share it with you guys.
So what is this theory? If you are truly able to give a woman what she “needs” rather than what she says she “wants” you can proactively bypass and predict any shit tests or drama that she may be giving you. Click here to read more »
In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don’t worry I was one of those girls that dreamed, that preyed, that wished it was so. That meeting the right person would dissolve any issues of conflict, fighting or heaven forbid a staleness of passion for each other.
But I was slapped in the face by the cold hard truth. That to have a great dating relationship, to have a great long term relationship you are going to need a little more than a so called “ever lasting love” for each other.
Because you know what? Passion only ever lasts for so long and really nothing in this life lasts forever. We grow up, we mature, we get old and then we start shrinking. Not the pyramids, the oceans, nor your “good moods” can last forever. This is a simple truth of life.
So as we are riding the turbulent waves of life; good and bad, sad and happy, passionate and bored – the passion in our relationship can also waver. The truth is to have a great relationship – you are going to have to step up to the plate and be great at a lot of different things. Click here to read more »
So many of you have been following Jennie’s Dilemma with her boyfriend. Well here is the second part of this series and the advice I have to offer. For Part ONE click here.
Here is what Jennie said …
Hi Jennifer!
First, thanks so much for getting back to me. I can’t tell you how much i appreciate it. I can see why so many people are drawn to your blog!
So you’ve kind of asked some really good questions here, and maybe this will give you a clearer picture of what i’m dealing with: what’s got me so freaked out is that b4 we had this wrestling contest, he NEVER showed any signs of being a chauvinist jerk. Things were really pretty good and i thought he was a self confident guy. Then i pinned him and all hell broke loose. So i don’t know what to make of that.
But I did try to put myself in his shoes, & I realize that my knowing judo doesn’t mean anything to him. All he knows is, he took on a 5’8″, 125 lb. girl who’s pretty & has long hair and is as feminine as can be, and got his butt kicked. I remember how frustrated and angry he looked when he realized I had him locked down with my knees clamped on either side of his chest and his wrists pinned behind his head. And that’s why I asked you about the sports you had won against guys b/c this really is different. I was able to tire him out and then physically overpower him & I think it took a real psychological toll. Click here to read more »
Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.
