“Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened that didn’t need to happen.” ~ Byron Katie
Recently, a few of my close friends have been going through relationship breakups. Most of them are handling it well and learning a lot in the process. Having this at the forefront of my mind has caused me to think about relationships in a perspective that may be helpful for those of you going through a recent breakup or still trying to overcome one that happened a while ago.
Principle One: The purpose of relationships is growth.
This is a massive concept. So, I thought I would give it to you first (so you can spend the rest of the post digesting it). I could also follow it up with these next two statements:
Relationships are fluid rather than concrete. Relationships are about the process rather than the destination.
If I were to ask people what they think relationships are really about, they might answer along the lines of: “To be with someone who loves me unconditionally”, or “To be with someone who makes me happy”, or “To be with someone who makes me feel secure”, etc. And, the kind of unspoken general consensus of how one should tackle relationships is to, “Find the one you want to be with as quickly and as efficiently as possible”. With this last statement in mind it could easily be concluded that any relationship that didn’t serve a lifetime is considered to be a “failed relationship”.
But, what if every relationship served its own purpose? What if every relationship gave you an opportunity to grow? What is every past relationship was a stepping stone to something new and more desirable? What if every relationship you ever experienced was the perfect one that you needed to be with at the time?
If you think about your past relationships that have ended and apply this new perspective, you may just find some rare and beautiful gems of how each of these relationships have served you and helped you grow. Click here to read more »
“Relationship is an art.
The dream that two people create is more difficult to master than one.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
If you want to keep the passion and excitement alive with your girlfriend then you only need to remember one thing: you must actively build anticipation within her. Building anticipation, mystery, and giving her something to really look forward to – is the name of the game. And, if you are guilty of having one too many boring nights on the couch watching TV with her or you feel things are getting stale – then it’s time to mix it up. Here are a few suggestions:
Step One: Spend more time creating that sexual tension.
Remember how to flirt? Well just because she is your girlfriend doesn’t mean that all of a sudden that should stop. Go in first for the passionate lingering kiss instead of heading straight to the bedroom. Spend a little more time talking with her, staring into her eyes, giving her dirty sexual looks, touching her all over her body BEFORE anything actual sexual happens. Appeal to ALL her senses: whisper in her ear, wear a touch of cologne that she loves, kiss her passionately, etc. All this build-up of anticipation may not be that exciting for you – but it will drive HER WILD. Click here to read more »
Love is flow and walls keep the flow out
~ Deepak Chopra
I recently wrote a newsletter for my exclusive readers about how to be the “complete package” (become an exclusive reader here). This was a little different from a lot of the articles, posts, and newsletters that I usually write about. The reason for this was that it was based on some of the more “superficial” things that help attract a woman. Things like your overall appearance, your competencies, and making your home more women friendly. Throughout this newsletter however I did emphasize first and foremost what is MOST important in attracting a woman. And, that being your confidence, presence, and charm. This is something that nice cologne or an interesting skill-set CANNOT compensate for.
And, on the topic of things that cannot be compensated for I wanted to talk about “finding love” or rather, “finding that special woman to love”. I know that a lot of you are in this place right now. Many of you are looking for ways you can attract that wondrous woman into your life that will somehow strip away the loneliness that none of you would outwardly like to admit exists.
And, while I talk about developing your presence, widening your skill set, building more self-esteem, and understanding women – all of these WILL NOT make much of a difference: until one thing happens. Click here to read more »
“Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another.” ~Kenny Ausubel
Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.
Now, I’m not going to go down the traditional route of all the typical relationship advice and say things like communication, listening, and understanding are all required. It’s pretty obvious that all of these are important. And, I don’t want to spend much more time on it because quite frankly I’m bored of it. Yes, they are all important. In fact, they help keep a couple bonded together and connected in various ways. But doing these things alone will result in a hot romance turning into a nice lifelong friendship if you don’t watch out. Click here to read more »
A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again,
Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.
It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »
A reader asks ….
“While your advice in attracting women is some of the best I’ve seen, the problem is that the problem doesn’t stop there. The real question is: How do you maintain that attraction and sex appeal when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances, and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults. What do men need to do to stay sexy to their committed women, while possibly working 10 hours a day and taking care of other daily responsibilities and duties. – D ”
#1 Knowing what’s really important …
Awesome question! Now, I’m going to highlight where I see the problem, “How do you maintain that attraction when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults.” Since, when did the goal of any relationship lead to the marriage, the house, and the kids? Since, when does one need to “stop being in love” and get on with “being responsible”? Click here to read more »
I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.
I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.
Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.
Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.
If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.
That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things. Click here to read more »
Compliments, compliments, compliments. Do you give them? Do you withhold them? Do women even like them to begin with? Does complimenting a woman help her become more attracted to you? I know how incredibly confusing this question of whether to give compliments or whether to withhold them really is. Especially, since there are conflicting theories on their effectiveness in attracting women.
In light of this, my aim is to clear out the fog and to give you an woman’s perspective on the true meaning of compliments. My aim is to show you a much more effective, effortless, and natural way to create initial attraction; and most importantly, MAINTAIN that attraction with her.
What your typical woman will say about compliments.
Now, if you go around and ask your average/typical girl if she would be attracted to a guy who gives her plenty of compliments – she will literally clasp her hands together and in a high shrill voice say, “Of coooourse! I love them!” Then she will proceed to go out with her girlfriends to a nightclub, receive 10 or 20 compliments in the space of about 10 minutes and disregard all the men that are throwing all these lovely words at her.
So, here is the secret. Women like the “idea” of being showered in compliments rather than the “reality” of being showered in compliments. In fact, a woman being thrown compliments left, right, and center ONLY wants to do ONE thing. And, that is to take a shower! And, no, not the type of showering that you get to watch or participate in. Click here to read more »
I just so happen to stumble across this very interesting website which talks about the different meanings of love and what it means to couples and people all around the world.
Sometimes I hesitate to talk about love. Because, it’s one of these topics which is undervalued and over analyzed. In fact I would go as far to say that love is one of those things that is only really talked about when something is wrong with it.
In many ways, our society can’t handle true, romantic, happy, passionate love. To many, it’s simply unbearable. Because the people who experience such love is very limited. So, instead of; talking about love or expressing romantic love it is; suppressed, ignored or nullified. To talk about love seems boring, unnecessary and plain unrealistic.
With that in mind, let’s talk about love. Because, despite what the majority of society may believe I think love is; exciting, delightful, deep, eye opening, and incredibly fulfilling. Click here to read more »
Well that sounds like a completely bratty statement doesn’t it? And you want to know the truth? Well the truth is, this phrase “I’m only high maintenance, if you don’t maintain me” came out of my mouth whilst talking to a friend recently. And it’s my guess women would admit this, if they really understood how perfectly it surmised how they felt.
So let me break it down for you guys. Let me show you: what this really means, how you can overcome it, and how to apply it. I will show you a proactive approach, which will minimize the level of drama, testing, and needy behavior with ANY woman.
Now I can’t attribute this theory entirely to myself. In fact this theory is dedicated to a man who actually has real time experience of how low maintenance women can truly be. This is dedicated to a man who actually finds it amusing to see other men around him being constantly tested. He is incredibly insightful and in the near future I may steal him for an interview to pick his brains and share it with you guys.
So what is this theory? If you are truly able to give a woman what she “needs” rather than what she says she “wants” you can proactively bypass and predict any shit tests or drama that she may be giving you. Click here to read more »