Happiness is having what you want, and wanting what you have ~ Josh Bullings
When you first meet someone you really like and this time the feeling is mutual – it can be a bit of a whirlwind. It’s easy to see all the things you like about them. It’s easy to spend time with them and for it be exciting, surprising, and fun. And, once things start to transition over to something a little more serious – sometimes the relationship can lose it’s original sheen. You have your first argument. You start doing the things that you were doing before you got caught up in the romance. Things start to settle down a bit. So, what can you do to keep that relationship alive, happy, and still exciting? How can you really make the MOST of the relationship that you’ve got? Here are a few key tips (7 actually) that will help keep you on the right track.
Ok, so it sounds so cliché BUT it’s really important, so I’m going to remind you anyways. Remember to stay true to yourself and your values. I could also say it like this: “You have a freak flag – so let it fly”. Don’t try to be something that you are not. Don’t try and mould yourself into some fantasy version of a man that your girlfriend wants. You may think, “If can change this one thing – then she will be happy”. But the problem with that is – you make one change and then she will want to change something else. And, then at the end of the day you won’t know who you are and she won’t know who you are either. Make sure that if you want to make more positive changes about yourself or in your life that you are in alignment with what you really value and not just because you “think” it will make the relationship better. When you stay true to yourself and what’s important to you – you have more to offer the relationship. Have the courage to stand up for what you believe in and when the opportunity arises choose the option that feels best for you and most true for you. Click here to read more »
“Relationship is an art.
The dream that two people create is more difficult to master than one.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
If you want to keep the passion and excitement alive with your girlfriend then you only need to remember one thing: you must actively build anticipation within her. Building anticipation, mystery, and giving her something to really look forward to – is the name of the game. And, if you are guilty of having one too many boring nights on the couch watching TV with her or you feel things are getting stale – then it’s time to mix it up. Here are a few suggestions:
Step One: Spend more time creating that sexual tension.
Remember how to flirt? Well just because she is your girlfriend doesn’t mean that all of a sudden that should stop. Go in first for the passionate lingering kiss instead of heading straight to the bedroom. Spend a little more time talking with her, staring into her eyes, giving her dirty sexual looks, touching her all over her body BEFORE anything actual sexual happens. Appeal to ALL her senses: whisper in her ear, wear a touch of cologne that she loves, kiss her passionately, etc. All this build-up of anticipation may not be that exciting for you – but it will drive HER WILD. Click here to read more »
Alright, in celebration of my birthday (which has just passed – Yes, I’m 25 now!), I wanted you all to know some ideas about what to do if you are dating a girl and her birthday is coming up. I know for a guy there can be a lot of pressure when it comes to birthday celebrations. You want to give her something special – but you also don’t want to blow her out of the water and freak her out. Finding this balance will be really easy once you read these few tips below.
The first is timing. How long you have known a woman is the first indicator of what you should get her on her upcoming birthday.
Dating 2 weeks or less:
So, if you have been dating for maybe 2 weeks and you know her birthday is coming up in a few days, going all out on a birthday party for her is probably not a good idea because you are just in the early stages of getting to know her. Surprising her with dinner at her favorite restaurant, or maybe buying her a small gift (such as a gift card at her favorite store) might be better.
Between 2 weeks and 6 months:
Now, if you have been dating her for more than 2 weeks but less than 6 months, you should know who some of her friends are. Organizing a surprise party for her at her favorite restaurant might be a wise idea if she is more outgoing. If she is more understated, maybe inviting some of her closest friends over to your place for a meal might be better.
Dating her more than 6 months to a few years:
Now, if you have been dating her for more than 6 months but less than a few years and things are looking a bit serious, she might be wondering if you are going to marry her, especially if she is in her late twenties or early thirties. So, if you have been dating her for this long, it will be important for you to think about your long term intentions with her at this time. I’m not saying you should marry her or propose marriage on her birthday, but I am encouraging you to think about that as you organize something for her birthday. You see, if a woman has been dating a guy for years, she is going to be entertaining the idea of marriage. For example, if you have been dating a woman for 4 years and she is turning 29 and you get her an espresso maker for her birthday, she might be really pissed because she doesn’t know what your intentions are.
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Alright, so you have got this awesome chick and things seem to appear to be going well. Just one small problem. You can’t get her to the next stage – whatever that may be. Maybe you can’t get her to commit to the next date. Maybe you can’t get her to commit to be in an exclusive relationship with you. Maybe you can’t get her to marry you. Whatever stage it is – I understand it sucks. And, it can be incredibly frustrating. It’s for this reason this stage needs to be handled with a certain finesse. Why? Because now you have gotten to know her a little it; so if she rejects you it’s going to be feel personal. So, why won’t a woman commit in the different stages? And, what can you do about it?
Reason # 1: She’s not ready to commit.
Timing in any phase of dating is a big issue. Not only do you have to meet the right person, but you have to meet the right person at the right time. I can tell you right now majority of women in their early to mid 20′s are a bit more free spirited. They want to explore life, find out who they are, really get stuck into building their career, and experiment with life a little. They also have a lot more choice of available men who want to date them. So, trying to tie them down too soon, could send off alarm bells. Women in their late 20′s to their mid 30′s are more looking to settle down. Click here to read more »
Commitment. It’s one of those exciting and scary issues to talk about, let alone experience. Sometimes it comes easily for both of you and sometimes it’s a constant battle to get to each new level. When I think about what relationship drama revolves around, it always ends up being about: commitment. One person wants to move it forward – the other doesn’t and vice versa. So, what happens when you are getting into a relationship and really like the pace that it’s going at. Say you really like this woman and enjoy getting to know her more. But, now she is pushing for more commitment and trying to move things faster along than what your comfortable with. This can happen in various stages of dating. For example, commitment issues can be experienced where a woman wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you and you are still trying to figure that out. It could also arise when a woman wants to move in with you and start building a life with you and you are not comfortable with doing this right now. Here is how you can get a woman to stop pushing so hard for commitment: Click here to read more »
There is an interesting phenomena my attention has been drawn to recently. It’s noticeable when a man has little problem attracting a desirable woman, yet witnesses a barrage of challenges in keeping her interested and happy. This can be devastating and (not to mention) baffling.
It doesn’t make sense, unless one becomes aware of the difference between triggering attraction and developing a relationship.
I’m drawn back to a memory of reading David Deangelo’s “Double Your Dating” which exposed me to a myriad of theories and skills to attract a woman. Yet, all he teaches about “keeping” a woman interested is boiled down to one line. That being, “once you get a woman, keep doing whatever you are doing.” And it’s not nearly as helpful or truthful as one might first think.
If this was the truth then pick up artists or men who learn about seducing and attracting women, would all have a great relationship with a woman they truly desired. Instead, they end up dodging from woman to woman, temporarily trying to satisfy an insatiable need. You could call it skimming the surface as these men are cautious and want to pull the plug before it gets too deep. Anything deeper will only open a whole can of worms, which for the moment do not want to be uncovered. Click here to read more »
Well that sounds like a completely bratty statement doesn’t it? And you want to know the truth? Well the truth is, this phrase “I’m only high maintenance, if you don’t maintain me” came out of my mouth whilst talking to a friend recently. And it’s my guess women would admit this, if they really understood how perfectly it surmised how they felt.
So let me break it down for you guys. Let me show you: what this really means, how you can overcome it, and how to apply it. I will show you a proactive approach, which will minimize the level of drama, testing, and needy behavior with ANY woman.
Now I can’t attribute this theory entirely to myself. In fact this theory is dedicated to a man who actually has real time experience of how low maintenance women can truly be. This is dedicated to a man who actually finds it amusing to see other men around him being constantly tested. He is incredibly insightful and in the near future I may steal him for an interview to pick his brains and share it with you guys.
So what is this theory? If you are truly able to give a woman what she “needs” rather than what she says she “wants” you can proactively bypass and predict any shit tests or drama that she may be giving you. Click here to read more »
Ok ok I admit it has been a little while since I have written my last post and I’m sure you have all been wondering where the hell I have been!
Well lets keep it short and simple. I just ended a relationship which had been going on for close to a year. And while I was in this relationship, I was finding it very hard to keep posting about dating and relating stuff. I would literally sit in front of the computer tapping my fingers drawing blanks. Very frustrating.
Now that it has ended I have this renewed passion to continue this blog.
It has been a portal for my own personal development as well as the readers who have been following it. So I can’t resist anymore!
So for those of you that are interested in all the juicy goss, of what happened, of some of the things I have learnt from the whole experience and where I’m going to go from here … READ ON!
This will be followed by my 3 top tips in getting over a breakup!
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and actually be happy! ……
So we all at times can be a little controlling. And at other times we can also be a little bit of a FREAK. But overcoming being a control freak is not as hard as it sounds. It just takes a little bit of practice, patience and faith.
Now there is no better person to talk to you right now about control. Because me and control use to be the best of buddies. I made sure my partner at the time met my expectations and in return that control gave me the “so called security and safety” which deep down I craved. So how did he meet my expectations? I dragged him to personal development seminars, I put some ambition in him, I got him to eat healthier, dress smarter, act nicer … you name it and I did it. And at the end of it, I had a guy who I didn’t recognise nor respected because he didn’t have the guts to stand up for himself.
Click here to read more »
In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don’t worry I was one of those girls that dreamed, that preyed, that wished it was so. That meeting the right person would dissolve any issues of conflict, fighting or heaven forbid a staleness of passion for each other.
But I was slapped in the face by the cold hard truth. That to have a great dating relationship, to have a great long term relationship you are going to need a little more than a so called “ever lasting love” for each other.
Because you know what? Passion only ever lasts for so long and really nothing in this life lasts forever. We grow up, we mature, we get old and then we start shrinking. Not the pyramids, the oceans, nor your “good moods” can last forever. This is a simple truth of life.
So as we are riding the turbulent waves of life; good and bad, sad and happy, passionate and bored – the passion in our relationship can also waver. The truth is to have a great relationship – you are going to have to step up to the plate and be great at a lot of different things. Click here to read more »