In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
“Men play the game; women know the score” ~ Roger Woddis
A lot of women today walk around with their guard up when it comes to men. And, this doesn’t help when you want to make a cold approach or get her out on the first date. So, how can you quickly and efficiently break down a woman’s barriers and move her from being icy cold to warm and receptive to you?
First, let’s define what a barrier is. A barrier is anything a woman uses to slow down or prevent you from getting to the next stage with her. That next stage could be: getting her to talk to you, getting her phone number, getting her on that first date, getting her to commit, and so on. They also come in many forms: acting cold and disinterested; engaging in flaky behavior; playing hot and cold; not picking up your calls; making excuses as to why she can’t see you; challenging you; telling you she has a boyfriend; etc.
Now, women don’t always engage with this kind of behavior because they are not interested. A lot of the time this preventative behavior is used as a filtering system for the various approaches they get on a daily basis.
Why do women put up barriers?
There are a number of reasons why women intentionally or unintentionally put up barriers. This includes:
Have a boyfriend and don’t want to give you the wrong impression
Want to see how you respond to it (testing to see what your skills are)
They are uncomfortable with being approached by men
They are scared that they will get hurt and have their running shoes on
Keep in mind that just because a woman puts up a barrier does not MEAN that she is not interested. It just means that it can take her a little time to warm up to you. And, in order for her to do this you have to gain her trust and kick start that attraction process. Click here to read more »
Alright, in celebration of my birthday (which has just passed – Yes, I’m 25 now!), I wanted you all to know some ideas about what to do if you are dating a girl and her birthday is coming up. I know for a guy there can be a lot of pressure when it comes to birthday celebrations. You want to give her something special – but you also don’t want to blow her out of the water and freak her out. Finding this balance will be really easy once you read these few tips below.
The first is timing. How long you have known a woman is the first indicator of what you should get her on her upcoming birthday.
Dating 2 weeks or less:
So, if you have been dating for maybe 2 weeks and you know her birthday is coming up in a few days, going all out on a birthday party for her is probably not a good idea because you are just in the early stages of getting to know her. Surprising her with dinner at her favorite restaurant, or maybe buying her a small gift (such as a gift card at her favorite store) might be better.
Between 2 weeks and 6 months:
Now, if you have been dating her for more than 2 weeks but less than 6 months, you should know who some of her friends are. Organizing a surprise party for her at her favorite restaurant might be a wise idea if she is more outgoing. If she is more understated, maybe inviting some of her closest friends over to your place for a meal might be better.
Dating her more than 6 months to a few years:
Now, if you have been dating her for more than 6 months but less than a few years and things are looking a bit serious, she might be wondering if you are going to marry her, especially if she is in her late twenties or early thirties. So, if you have been dating her for this long, it will be important for you to think about your long term intentions with her at this time. I’m not saying you should marry her or propose marriage on her birthday, but I am encouraging you to think about that as you organize something for her birthday. You see, if a woman has been dating a guy for years, she is going to be entertaining the idea of marriage. For example, if you have been dating a woman for 4 years and she is turning 29 and you get her an espresso maker for her birthday, she might be really pissed because she doesn’t know what your intentions are. Click here to read more »
There is no doubt that the appeal of dating younger women is clearly obvious. Whether it be their incredible physical form; vibrant and spontaneous nature; or hope and enthusiasm they hold for dating, love, and life. However, there are some things to keep in mind about younger women and what they are going through this time period in their lives. Knowing what these are can help you develop and maintain attraction; anticipate their needs; and minimize drama and shit testing.
Shaping their identity and finding their place in the world
Women in the 18-24 age range are fresh out of home or college and ready to hit the big bad world until they realize that they have absolutely no idea about what goes on it in.
Finally, the veil of protection given by their parents and various educational institutions starts to lift, and they are left to their own devices to craft a life that they feel suits them and that they can gladly call their own.
As part of this transitional identity forming stage of their lives comes a highly idealistic perception backed with high expectations of what they think and feel life should be about. Ironically, some of these expectations about dating, love, and life are crafted from unreliable sources like: romantic comedies, travel brochures, or sitcoms aimed at selling them a dream that few can actually accomplish, or that many will eventually find unfulfiling. This is a time for experimentation, exploration, searching, and hope. For many young women, this is a time to: feel free, party, embrace the world full tilt, and spend time finding out what it is they actually like or feel is important in their lives. What a wonderful time it is to be with a woman in this period of her life. She can act spontaneous; eagerly try new things; and feel truly optimistic about the happiness and joy that love can bring her. Whether her goals are to settle down with the right man, charge ahead with her career, or travel the world – her enthusiasm for these things will be captivating to any man. Click here to read more »
Compliments, compliments, compliments. Do you give them? Do you withhold them? Do women even like them to begin with? Does complimenting a woman help her become more attracted to you? I know how incredibly confusing this question of whether to give compliments or whether to withhold them really is. Especially, since there are conflicting theories on their effectiveness in attracting women.
In light of this, my aim is to clear out the fog and to give you an woman’s perspective on the true meaning of compliments. My aim is to show you a much more effective, effortless, and natural way to create initial attraction; and most importantly, MAINTAIN that attraction with her.
What your typical woman will say about compliments.
Now, if you go around and ask your average/typical girl if she would be attracted to a guy who gives her plenty of compliments – she will literally clasp her hands together and in a high shrill voice say, “Of coooourse! I love them!” Then she will proceed to go out with her girlfriends to a nightclub, receive 10 or 20 compliments in the space of about 10 minutes and disregard all the men that are throwing all these lovely words at her.
So, here is the secret. Women like the “idea” of being showered in compliments rather than the “reality” of being showered in compliments. In fact, a woman being thrown compliments left, right, and center ONLY wants to do ONE thing. And, that is to take a shower! And, no, not the type of showering that you get to watch or participate in. Click here to read more »
The reason why I’m writing this post, is because I have a number of people always asking me, what they should do, what they should say and how they should act when “xyz” happens when it comes to dating, men and women.
Most of the time I’m hesitant in saying … “do this” or “do that” because the truth of the matter is, every situation is so very different. So trying to act in a predefined way, is probably the worse thing that you can possibly do! You want to know why?
Because you start to second guess yourself. You start to doubt yourself. You start to hesitate. You start to hold back. And you stop being able to access your personal power which makes you attractive and not to mention magnetic to everyone around you.
I can tell you right now, that its your hesitation and its your inability to act upon and listen to that inner voice within us all which ALWAYS know exactly what to do, what to say and how to act.
If there is anything I can teach you guys, is that you must cultivate and act upon your gut or intuitive feelings. Click here to read more »
About 2 years I created a videoabout “how to really attract women” – It continues to be one of my most popular dating you tube videos.
Since that time, I have come to some new distinctions which can really help men attract women. I’ve realised that it is not based on all the techniques, but rather its about developing a particular mindset about yourself and women, which in turn will magnetize women to you.
Here are the top three tips I discuss in this video
1) Be proactive and keep pushing for the next step. Resistance is part of the process.
2) Be transparent, you have a unique personality so use it! Get comfortable with who you are, its all you’ve got.
3) Blow as many women out of the water. Get it out of your system. Take the pressure off. Give yourself the approval that you are seeking.
So I want to talk about that friend you have. You know your girlfriend who seems to have guys hovering around her 24/7 waiting to pounce.
The girl who doesn’t seem to be doing anything in particularly special to attract the males species.
You know, that girl that drives you insanely jealous. Sure she is hot. You tell yourself you wish you had her legs, her butt, her boobs, her beauty mole, her perfectly straight teeth etc, etc.
Yes looks help.
But it is not the one holy answer to all questions. In fact there are plenty of hot women who don’t get approached at all (but that’s another story). So if its not entirely down to just looks, then what else could be at play?
So lets just get this straight. For the men and women, what is a surrendered single? And why would it be easier to approach her?
This was a concept developed by Laura Doyle in her book titled … The Surrendered Single. What I love about this book is that it is so controversial. Women get caught off guard by some of the things that are mentioned in here. Most importantly it goes against the grain of how women should act in the modern society we live in today, where women and men are continually playing on equal fields.
So what exactly does she say?
What is a Surrendered Single? And just what is she surrendering—and to whom?
A Surrendered Single recognizes that if she wants to attract the man with whom she can develop intimacy, she cannot control relationships. She cannot determine who asks her out, how he’ll do it, when he’ll call or e-mail, or if he’ll commit to her. A Surrendered Single may have unwittingly been trying to control, manipulate and force relationships previously, but no more. Click here to read more »
So for this five minute find a man monday’s I’m going to be answering a question one of my readers asked me.
The question was
“How do you recover from having the conversation with your man?”
Here is my response …
Hi Jill(fake name),
This is a great question and I’m sure a lot of my readers are going to benefits from it.
Well the first thing that I would do is back off and stop putting any more pressure on him. He may already be a little freaked out by the whole thing but you really have to determine this by his actions.
Is he calling you less? Is he not as available as much as he used to be? Is he acting weird around you? Or are things pretty much the same?
See the thing is, the reason why I’m so adamant about the NOT having the conversation is because I have been there myself. Click here to read more »
Now I’m not saying that I have seen and heard everything in regards to picking up. Far from it. N that’s something I would like to keep that way. However when it comes to dating and attraction there are a couple more things that I know than your average kind of gal.
N you know this can be a little intimidating to guys who are just getting into the whole pick up thing or really are not that confident in girls just yet. It’s easy for me to shoot through their game with a couple of phrases without even trying.
Some guys get a little taken aback when they realize that the same material they have been learning is just as familiar to me. Some guys lose their game right then and there. But some have the balls to go on.
N I’m sure that its just not me. I’m sure girls that are getting hit on constantly also have the same experience. They heard a lot of the pick up lines and many of them have also been the target of guys who are just getting into the game and don’t really know what they are doing. Click here to read more »