In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
There is no doubt that the appeal of dating younger women is clearly obvious. Whether it be their incredible physical form; vibrant and spontaneous nature; or hope and enthusiasm they hold for dating, love, and life. However, there are some things to keep in mind about younger women and what they are going through this time period in their lives. Knowing what these are can help you develop and maintain attraction; anticipate their needs; and minimize drama and shit testing.
Shaping their identity and finding their place in the world
Women in the 18-24 age range are fresh out of home or college and ready to hit the big bad world until they realize that they have absolutely no idea about what goes on it in.
Finally, the veil of protection given by their parents and various educational institutions starts to lift, and they are left to their own devices to craft a life that they feel suits them and that they can gladly call their own.
As part of this transitional identity forming stage of their lives comes a highly idealistic perception backed with high expectations of what they think and feel life should be about. Ironically, some of these expectations about dating, love, and life are crafted from unreliable sources like: romantic comedies, travel brochures, or sitcoms aimed at selling them a dream that few can actually accomplish, or that many will eventually find unfulfiling. This is a time for experimentation, exploration, searching, and hope. For many young women, this is a time to: feel free, party, embrace the world full tilt, and spend time finding out what it is they actually like or feel is important in their lives. What a wonderful time it is to be with a woman in this period of her life. She can act spontaneous; eagerly try new things; and feel truly optimistic about the happiness and joy that love can bring her. Whether her goals are to settle down with the right man, charge ahead with her career, or travel the world – her enthusiasm for these things will be captivating to any man. Click here to read more »
Ever just done something with a woman and then later when thinking about it – just wanting to cringe at what you did? Well, I get emails from you guys all the time with moment like these that you wished you could take back. Here are two readers who have dug themselves into a bit of a hole and here are my solutions on how they can get out!
Ok so ive had this crush on this girl for about nine months. She was with this guy and then they had problems, the broke up then tried to work things out but just within the last 2 weeks they decided to be done for good. Well i finally got the nerve to ask her into a relationship by saying, u know i really like you so when u feel like u can be in a relationship again could we give it a chance. She said let me get on my feet and heal a little bit. I said ok and didnt say anymore about it.
I’m fairly confident that she does need time to heal but Id like a second opinion. Also does this always mean what it says or is it a way of saying no.
Let’s answer the age old question, “Why do women like drama?” Now, if you ask a typical woman this, she will respond with quite a shocked look on her face and say something like, “Not all women like drama!!” And, then she would probably hint somehow that she was the exception. To which I would warn you that it’s the woman who say things like this – that are actually more inclined to engage in extremely dramatic behavior. And, drama can come in all sorts of forms. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times much more subtle than you could ever imagine.
So, let me eliminate all the confusion when I say, “ALL woman want and need attention!” Whether it’s overt or covert please just understand that on the core biological and primal level of a woman: it’s what she truly craves.
It’s my belief these subconscious primal urges aid a woman to elicit the help of men or women around them. Women seek attention and they test to see how much attention they can attract so they can be rest assured that when a time comes where they need HELP, they will be able to effortlessly receive it.
A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again, Matt
Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.
It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »
Some of you may be reading the heading right now and be thinking, “What do you mean it’s not relevant? It’s all that really matters!” Yes, well don’t worry, I’m still on your side. I’m not saying that you are committing yourself to a lifetime of dull, boring, and completely unexciting sexual experiences.
In fact, what I will be showing you is how you can have amazing, passionate, exciting, mind blowing sexual experiences with a woman that you care about. When posed with the idea of how important is sexual compatibility is I had to laugh. I believe it’s a great misconception that sexual compatibility is actually relevant at all. Having a sexual experience with your partner is an extension to the solid foundation you have built with them. It’s taking those same communication skills you have in everyday life and applying them to the bedroom. They are not two separate spaces. They are both part of the same whole. Sex is not some added bonus or icing on the cake. It makes up the cake.
Where compatibility really matters …
The core things that are required to create the solid foundation of a relationship are shared values, open lines of communication, unconditional acceptance, honesty, courage, emotional maturity, and the need and desire for both people to put their relationship first. The magic happens in the combination of all these factors working together. The magic happens when there is compatibility here on all levels! Click here to read more »
I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.
I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.
Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.
Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.
If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.
That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things. Click here to read more »
Have you ever dated a woman who just seemed a little off? Like she was too much effort? Like she was involved in WAY too much drama? Like she was always changing the way she felt about you? Like she was giving you mixed messages? I can see how dating and relating experiences like this can really confuse you. Not only that, I can see how it could really put you off women in general because of how easy it is to assume that all women are the same.
Some of you have just resigned yourself to the fact that woman are a species which does not WANT to be understood.
Or maybe you have at least thought about this at one point or another. Well, I’m here to shed some light on this (at times) mysterious issue. And it’s pretty easy to overcome once you have identified what the problem is. In most cases, women who are experiencing consistently high and low mood swings, denial and only slight degrees of self responsibility are more than likely to be emotionally immature.
This means a woman who is actually 35 years old can have the emotional maturity level of a 15 year old. I will also note that emotionally maturity is not entirely dependent on age. There are some younger women out there who are incredibly mature for their age and vice versa. There are a number of reasons why maturity does or does not develop but more on that later. First I want to help you guys really identify: what an emotionally immature woman looks like, what she does, and then why she is the way she is. Click here to read more »
Persistence, persistence, persistence. How important is this truly when it comes to attracting women? Does it really make all the difference? Is it the key factor that the average man misses completely? And, if so, how does it really work? Well, I can tell you right now that persistence is so incredibly important in the attraction process. The reason for this is because it establishes and builds trust with a woman. Trust isn’t everything to a woman, but it’s certainly one of the fundamental bases you will need to build with her.
So first I want you to understand a fundamental distinction that will allow you to gauge whether a woman is truly interested in you. There are two things you need to look out for. Her sincerity and her responsiveness to your leadership. Her sincerity is gauged by the correlation between what she says and how she acts. The more she follows through on her words and actions in response to you, the better. Responsiveness to your leadership is gauged by her ability to follow when you initiate something. Whether that be encouraging her openness, spending more time with you, or trying something new with you. A woman’s responsiveness to your leadership is a really great way to gauge her attraction for you: conscious or unconscious. Click here to read more »
Compliments, compliments, compliments. Do you give them? Do you withhold them? Do women even like them to begin with? Does complimenting a woman help her become more attracted to you? I know how incredibly confusing this question of whether to give compliments or whether to withhold them really is. Especially, since there are conflicting theories on their effectiveness in attracting women.
In light of this, my aim is to clear out the fog and to give you an woman’s perspective on the true meaning of compliments. My aim is to show you a much more effective, effortless, and natural way to create initial attraction; and most importantly, MAINTAIN that attraction with her.
What your typical woman will say about compliments.
Now, if you go around and ask your average/typical girl if she would be attracted to a guy who gives her plenty of compliments – she will literally clasp her hands together and in a high shrill voice say, “Of coooourse! I love them!” Then she will proceed to go out with her girlfriends to a nightclub, receive 10 or 20 compliments in the space of about 10 minutes and disregard all the men that are throwing all these lovely words at her.
So, here is the secret. Women like the “idea” of being showered in compliments rather than the “reality” of being showered in compliments. In fact, a woman being thrown compliments left, right, and center ONLY wants to do ONE thing. And, that is to take a shower! And, no, not the type of showering that you get to watch or participate in. Click here to read more »