“Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life.”
~Rick Warren
Let me set the scenario. You meet a girl and you are in the process of getting to know her. Maybe you have had a couple of conversations. Maybe you have been on a couple of dates already. Maybe she is your friend that you would really prefer to get out of the friend zone with. And, the kicker is: You don’t know how to take attraction with her to the next level. You don’t know from how you can go from being the friend or the guy is going on dates with to girlfriend. You don’t even know on how to get going in that direction.
So, here is a tip that I want all of you to remember. Sometimes the reason it’s so hard for you to see how to move the relationship forward is because you are so scared of screwing it up. You want to do the right thing. You want to do the thing that is going to work. You want to push her off the fence, without having to do any work.
I can understand that. Of course you want to do what works. Of course you don’t want to rock the boat. But it’s that very psychology which will trap you in dating (limbo) and the friend zone time and time again.
Guys that get the girl are fence pushers. They escalate. They move forward. They face the risk of things not always going their way. They do what they want and NOT what they think she wants.
So, now I’m going to share with you a way that you get off that fence. Where you can put the control back in your hands and end the insanity. It’s simple, it’s proven, and it works. Click here to read more »
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt
You like this girl. Maybe she is a friend. Maybe she is someone you’ve already taken on a first date. Maybe she is someone who walked past you at college or at work and you already feel like you want her and you want her now. But here is the dilemma. You don’t know how to get her to the next stage. In the pick up community they call this escalating. Moving from one point to another in a forward direction. For example, from an approach to a number; from a conversation on the phone to a date; from a date to the bedroom; and so on. And, it’s during this process that can be really hard. Sometimes you don’t know where the next step is. Sometimes you don’t know if you can move forward (because some of you are scared of). Sometimes it’s because you are experiencing resistance and you don’t know what to do about it.
So here is an action plan for those of you that are in this position or have ever found yourself in this position in the past and exactly how to get out of it.
Evaluate what situation is in front of you.
Sometimes, when we are so focused on a goal and getting there you can lose sight of why you wanted it in the first place. For instance, maybe you had a goal of meeting this woman – because you think that having her in your life would make you are much happier person. Yet in the process of trying to get her into your life you are making yourself miserable. So, I ask you, “What is the point?” Part of evaluating the situation in front of you allows you to gain some perspective. It allows you to sit back and assess the situations. Sometimes having multiple opinions and perspectives can help with this process. Doing this will help you regain control over your emotions and consciously help you decide in which direction you would like to go. Click here to read more »
“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.”
~ James Joyce
Hi Jennifer,
First a big thank you. I have bought both the dollar guide and the course for $99. They have changed my perception not just on girls but on life especially with the “be the best man you can philosophy”. I have been living in the dark ages till then.
However! I would just mention one bad experience. I became very pro-active with one girl in my office. We lunched and she became open friendly and yielding. We frequently went to lunch and became close. However as she was going to be absent from the office for 6 months we did not my mutual consent take matters further although remained very close. In the last two days at the office though she hit me with a major sh*t test. She became cold and pre-occupied. I rode this out with smiles and gentle comments and with an hour before she was due to leave she gave me a smile that would have melted an Arctic icecap.
But I flunked it Jennifer. In that moment I resented what I felt was manipulative and controlling behavior. So I didn’t say goodbye and avoided her. I sent her an email saying I was sorry to miss saying goodbye but she did not respond when she frequently had done so before. Now I feel as though I have behaved foolishly and perhaps hurt her.
It goes to show how careful you must be with sh*t tests. But do you have any sympathy for my initial reaction based on what I thought was flaky behavior from her?
J.
Click here to read more »
“Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another.” ~Kenny Ausubel
Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.
Now, I’m not going to go down the traditional route of all the typical relationship advice and say things like communication, listening, and understanding are all required. It’s pretty obvious that all of these are important. And, I don’t want to spend much more time on it because quite frankly I’m bored of it. Yes, they are all important. In fact, they help keep a couple bonded together and connected in various ways. But doing these things alone will result in a hot romance turning into a nice lifelong friendship if you don’t watch out. Click here to read more »
Problem: You really like this ONE girl, but for some reason you don’t know how to spark her interest. And, the harder you try, the more futile it appears to become. I get the same emails from a variety of different men all with the same fundamental problem, which I want to handle once and for all.
So, I ask you one question: Why this girl?
And, I’m sure that you will notice your mind start to spit out all sorts of different reasons. She is so funny, great, kind, attractive, different, etc. Some of you may find yourself drifting into some mental coma fantasy, dreaming about all the wonderful things you like and would like to do with this woman. Some of you may not even know what you like about this woman. In fact, all you may know is that you have the hots for her bad.
So, this leads me to the second problem I see. You like this girl and you have no freaking idea on how to get her interested in you. You don’t know how she feels. You don’t know how to spark her interest. You don’t know how to get her to breakup with her boyfriend and start dating you etc. Click here to read more »
This is a newsletter that I recently shared with my VIP members. Check at the end of the post to find out how you can become one.
So, I’m sure that in your endeavors to learn how to become more attractive to women, you read and heard about all the different techniques, tips, and tricks on how to make a woman like you and want to sleep with you.
And, it’s my guess that after you have read and listened to all these different techniques, you think to yourself, “Why do I always seem to be catching up?”, “Why is that I have to do so much chasing and attracting?”, or “Why can’t all the women come to me without me having to really do anything?”
Well, maybe that last fantasy could turn into a reality. In fact, I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen men out there who actually have women actually chasing them! Imagine this for a second: What if you could experience a woman actually getting nervous around YOU! What if they were the ones that were handing their phone numbers to you without you even ASKING! What if women were the ones trying every trick in the book to sleep with you? Click here to read more »
Ever just done something with a woman and then later when thinking about it – just wanting to cringe at what you did? Well, I get emails from you guys all the time with moment like these that you wished you could take back. Here are two readers who have dug themselves into a bit of a hole and here are my solutions on how they can get out!
Ok so ive had this crush on this girl for about nine months. She was with this guy and then they had problems, the broke up then tried to work things out but just within the last 2 weeks they decided to be done for good. Well i finally got the nerve to ask her into a relationship by saying, u know i really like you so when u feel like u can be in a relationship again could we give it a chance. She said let me get on my feet and heal a little bit. I said ok and didnt say anymore about it.
I’m fairly confident that she does need time to heal but Id like a second opinion. Also does this always mean what it says or is it a way of saying no.
Thanks alot, C
Hey C.
Ok, so I’m going to tell you exactly how I see it. Click here to read more »
A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again,
Matt
Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.
It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »
Ever heard of the saying, “To be sitting on the fence?” Urban dictionary defines it as, “Existing in a state of uncertainty and ambivalency.” And, I could not agree more. So how does sitting on the fence apply when it comes to dating and relating to women?
Simple.
That men often relate to women with the aim of getting her to experience a neutral or good impression with her. In fact some men are focused on ONLY giving her a good impression that they produce very neutral results. A woman will not remember let alone be attracted to a man in which she feels neutral about.
For instance, when interacting at the woman at the cash register. She asks you, “How are you today?” and you answer in a neutral tone, “I’m good thank you”. Wow. That was really boring for me to even write. You are not going to attract women with a bunch of “I’m good, thank yous”. If you think you are … I’m so sorry because you have come to the wrong place. Now WHY would you want to just have a neutral experience with a woman? Well, that is simple, too. Because it’s safe. Because it doesn’t require much effort. Because it doesn’t require you to “put yourself out there” and here’s the BIG ONE: because you think it will LIMIT your rejection.
Click here to read more »
Persistence, persistence, persistence. How important is this truly when it comes to attracting women? Does it really make all the difference? Is it the key factor that the average man misses completely? And, if so, how does it really work? Well, I can tell you right now that persistence is so incredibly important in the attraction process. The reason for this is because it establishes and builds trust with a woman. Trust isn’t everything to a woman, but it’s certainly one of the fundamental bases you will need to build with her.
So first I want you to understand a fundamental distinction that will allow you to gauge whether a woman is truly interested in you. There are two things you need to look out for. Her sincerity and her responsiveness to your leadership. Her sincerity is gauged by the correlation between what she says and how she acts. The more she follows through on her words and actions in response to you, the better. Responsiveness to your leadership is gauged by her ability to follow when you initiate something. Whether that be encouraging her openness, spending more time with you, or trying something new with you. A woman’s responsiveness to your leadership is a really great way to gauge her attraction for you: conscious or unconscious. Click here to read more »
