In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.” - Thomas Fuller
In recent months, I have taken on board a number of coaching clients that has allowed me to gain more insight into what many of you guys are struggling with.
While initially all my clients have been focused on getting things “done” and learning “new skills”, I am always steering them in what may seem the opposite direction. That being: developing their character, blasting through their limiting beliefs, and helping them take the focus off external circumstances they cannot control and back onto internal processes which puts them in the driver’s seat.
As part of this process, there is one fundamental misunderstanding that the majority of men make when learning the process of connecting and interacting with women. That fact is that women don’t date men based on ONE particular skill or quality. When women are in the process of selecting a mate, they are looking for an “entire package”. And, no — not the one that you may be thinking of. Therefore, the focus should not be on getting one component exactly right, but getting the right amount of components together and integrating them fully.
Let’s take the example of the iceberg. Now, the point behind the iceberg theory is that only 10% of the actual iceberg is visible from above the water. While a massive 90% is beneath the water.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection. ~Buddha
I know “that” woman you are talking about. Ok, maybe not personally, but I know that you think she is the one woman or the one kind of woman that would really make all your dreams come true. Maybe she is uber hot. Maybe she is seriously sexy. Maybe you think you would have a killer connection with her. Fill in the blanks however you please.
Whether it’s a celebrity fantasy like Kim Kardashian, Angeline Jolie, Megan Fox or Jessica Alba; or it’s the girl next door; the girl at work; the best friend who you want to get to know in the “other way” – the same question keeps coming up.
“How do I get a girl like “that” to date a guy like me?”
Which is usually followed by a whole bunch of reasons your “mind” makes up which disqualifies you from dating a woman like this. In fact, the mind is a very powerful thing. And, even if a woman like “that” was interested in you – with that current mindset either you wouldn’t see it, or you would sabotage the process so a girl like “that” would eventually lose interest in you.
Now, I’m not going to go on another rant about how important mindset and self esteem is when attracting and dating good quality women (or maybe I am). I would suggest that if you can’t relate to any of what I’m saying – it’s probably because you have grown beyond this point. Congratulations. For everyone else .. keep reading. Click here to read more »
“An emotionally immature woman has no sense of awareness of what she is doing. She is on autopilot. She is in constant reaction to her emotions to her needs and wants.” ~Hot Alpha Female
Alright, I really do need to talk to you about something. There seems to be a huge fixation getting the likes and attention of a particular woman or that hot chick. If you have read my other posts <here>, <here> and <here> you will know the warnings I have about many hot chicks. I’d say I was sorry about bursting your bubble, but I’m really not. I don’t want you guys to make the same mistakes most other guys make.
There are reasons why guys are attracted to women who look hot. Some of the reasons have to do with symmetry being a possible indicator of fewer genetic problems. Other reasons may have to do with youthful qualities about the face or body appearing to be associated with fertility. Whatever the reasons, I would strongly encourage you to think about your decisions with your BIG head, not your little head.
Most of you will come to conclusion of: “I like this chick and I want her now!” And, don’t give it much more thought than that.
There are women who are average looking who can be wonderful partners or dates. But, let’s get real. Even average looking women can cause problems. So, let’s talk about screening out women who might fuck up your life. Hot or not.
If you want the fastest way to become a better man and staying that way then <click here> and <here>
Here is part 2 of the become a better man plan. The most important aspects of this plan is to ensure that you treat yourself and other with kindness and respect.
Accept things that happened in the past that you perceive in a negative light and do your best to use the present to learn, experience and try new things that may work better for you in the future.
It’s almost important that you apply what you know. When you apply those things you may intellectually know – you can increase your success and learning by 10 fold.
There are times where you just have to get out from the sidelines and get into the game. Now is your chance. Make the most of it.
0:00 – Step 3: Be kind and respectful to yourself
1:16 – Step 3(cont): Be kind and respectful to women
2:31 – Step 4: Stop talking and start doing
Would love to know how you guys go after you implement the become a better man plan.
I would wish you luck, but we both know it doesn’t come down to that!
Hot Alpha Female
If you want the fastest way to become a better man and staying that way then <click here> and <here>
“Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way.” ~ Aristotle
So, for those of you that have been following me for a while, you would understand that I put particular emphasis on developing skills like: presence, assertiveness, and strength. What I often get asked is HOW to display this on a daily basis, particularly during interactions with women.
First, let me say that by displaying such skills comes from working on something “inside” rather than focusing on something the “outside”. It also doesn’t necessarily come from just doing a whole bunch of random things differently. It comes from selecting specific and particular areas of yourself and your life and masterfully putting the right pieces together.
So, what I’m saying is that developing these qualities is like art. It takes a level of skill, finesse, and experience to bring all different components of your life together. So, for those of you that are coming from a quick fix mindset of “developing presence” overnight – then you have come to the wrong place because something this great takes a little time, a lot of courage, and some serious application.
With that little disclaimer in mind, let’s continue on with one way you can start developing your presence. I’m sure you have heard a lot about the term self-discipline and all the fancy definitions of it. What I believe to be the true definition of self discipline is holding yourself accountable. In a sense, it’s making and keeping certain promises to yourself. When you can do this, you have more integrity with yourself and therefore, create a space where other people are more likely to hold you to it as well. Click here to read more »
Guess what? So many men don’t know that the odds are actually in their favor when it comes to attracting high quality beautiful women.
Let’s face it there is a greater supply of beautiful women than there is of eligible men. In fact, an ultra attractive eligible man is very hard to find these days, making you a very rare commodity.
But what makes you eligible? What makes you hot on the market? I believe it comes down to four core components – that once are integrated into who you are and who you are being will make you a sure catch!
0:14 – The odds are in your favor
0:30 – What makes an ultra attractive eligible man?
2:07 – Step 1: Sing your own song, beat your own drum
4:04 – Step 2: Go to create value
Hope you guys enjoy,
I would love to hear your comments and some of the results you have accomplished after taking action on these.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
You like this girl. Maybe she is a friend. Maybe she is someone you’ve already taken on a first date. Maybe she is someone who walked past you at college or at work and you already feel like you want her and you want her now. But here is the dilemma. You don’t know how to get her to the next stage. In the pick up community they call this escalating. Moving from one point to another in a forward direction. For example, from an approach to a number; from a conversation on the phone to a date; from a date to the bedroom; and so on. And, it’s during this process that can be really hard. Sometimes you don’t know where the next step is. Sometimes you don’t know if you can move forward (because some of you are scared of). Sometimes it’s because you are experiencing resistance and you don’t know what to do about it.
So here is an action plan for those of you that are in this position or have ever found yourself in this position in the past and exactly how to get out of it.
Evaluate what situation is in front of you.
Sometimes, when we are so focused on a goal and getting there you can lose sight of why you wanted it in the first place. For instance, maybe you had a goal of meeting this woman – because you think that having her in your life would make you are much happier person. Yet in the process of trying to get her into your life you are making yourself miserable. So, I ask you, “What is the point?” Part of evaluating the situation in front of you allows you to gain some perspective. It allows you to sit back and assess the situations. Sometimes having multiple opinions and perspectives can help with this process. Doing this will help you regain control over your emotions and consciously help you decide in which direction you would like to go. Click here to read more »
“If she says “hi” back, you are off to a good start.” ~Alec Greven (Author of “How to talk to girls”)
So, there is this girl that you fancy. Maybe you like her, maybe you feel like you know her the catch is you have never spoken to her in your life! And, here is the kicker. You want to speak to her, but you have no freaking IDEA what to say to her. You don’t know what to talk about, you don’t know how to get her attracted to you, and you don’t know how to ask her out on a date. No matter where you are in your dating/relating life the art of talking to girls is going to be a life long and valuable skill.
Now, obviously there are certain social skills that everyone could improve on. But first and foremost: state management is the key to having better conversations with women. When you feel better about yourself, when you feel good about who you are, when you are not trying to impress, when you are fully present – then you can truly have an incredibly interaction with a woman and create desire and attraction within her. All of this starts with being able to access a powerful state which is readily available within you once you know how to access it.
Let me ask you a few questions. Have you been able to really engage in a conversation with people (they don’t have to be women), had a good time, and god forbid were actually funny?
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt really comfortable and relaxed in – even though there may have been people around you who felt the complete opposite.
What exactly am I getting at? I’m saying that within each and every one of you is a place where you feel relaxed, cool, and confident. Whether that is playing your favorite video game, kicking ass at a sport you’ve been playing since you were a kid, acing an exam, driving on the race track – all of you have a place within you that makes you feel in many ways on the top of the world, invincible. Click here to read more »
“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~ James Joyce
Hi Jennifer,
First a big thank you. I have bought both the dollar guide and the course for $99. They have changed my perception not just on girls but on life especially with the “be the best man you can philosophy”. I have been living in the dark ages till then.
However! I would just mention one bad experience. I became very pro-active with one girl in my office. We lunched and she became open friendly and yielding. We frequently went to lunch and became close. However as she was going to be absent from the office for 6 months we did not my mutual consent take matters further although remained very close. In the last two days at the office though she hit me with a major sh*t test. She became cold and pre-occupied. I rode this out with smiles and gentle comments and with an hour before she was due to leave she gave me a smile that would have melted an Arctic icecap.
But I flunked it Jennifer. In that moment I resented what I felt was manipulative and controlling behavior. So I didn’t say goodbye and avoided her. I sent her an email saying I was sorry to miss saying goodbye but she did not respond when she frequently had done so before. Now I feel as though I have behaved foolishly and perhaps hurt her.
It goes to show how careful you must be with sh*t tests. But do you have any sympathy for my initial reaction based on what I thought was flaky behavior from her?
“Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another.” ~Kenny Ausubel
Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.
Now, I’m not going to go down the traditional route of all the typical relationship advice and say things like communication, listening, and understanding are all required. It’s pretty obvious that all of these are important. And, I don’t want to spend much more time on it because quite frankly I’m bored of it. Yes, they are all important. In fact, they help keep a couple bonded together and connected in various ways. But doing these things alone will result in a hot romance turning into a nice lifelong friendship if you don’t watch out. Click here to read more »
In recent months, I have taken on board a number of coaching clients that has allowed me to gain more insight into what many of you guys are struggling with.
