Hot Alpha Female

Ok, so lets admit it. There are some times when you meet a guy and you are “Just So INTO Him”.

You met, had a great time, really enjoyed his company and now your all caught up in fantasizing what a great boyfriend he will be, where you will get married and the names of your future children.

Some of you may laugh … but very often this is the trap that a lot of women fall into.

Maybe not so much to that extreme, but when we like a guy most of the time, we are at least sizing him up, of how great he will be in a relationship, in the your life and in bed =)

Most of the time, we are jumping about 10 years ahead and thinking about what it would be like to grow old together and yet you still don’t even know his last name.

You are thinking of marrying the guy and you don’t even know his favorite food or that really irritating habit he has of biting his finger nails that you simply cannot stand.

So what am I getting at exactly?
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To be honest I was saying to myself, I’m going to take it easy this weekend. I literally did not have anything planned. But here is the thing that I have noticed about not planning.

When you “see how it goes” and have no expectations what so ever, you end up having some of the best, most memorable experiences of a lifetime. Literally if I had sat down on Thursday night and tried to think of all the cool and random things that were going to precede that weekend … I think my brain would have exploded.

And you think I joking. Isn’t that cute…..

So literally I’m going to do a recap of my Friday night. I’m going to go into as much detail as I can and then maybe give you a quick recap of my entire weekend without too much detail, because lets face it.

I don’t kiss and tell. If you didn’t notice already.

If you want some of those stories, head over to Honey and Lance coz those guys do a better job at that, then I ever could! (haha love you guys).
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This could be an entire weekly series. But we will see how we go.

So as you know it was Easter has come, gone and been left in the dust.

Until next year that is.

Usually it involves a night out, time with family and an excess of chocolate which you don’t and wouldn’t normally eat.

Where do I start. I think I’ll tell you about my Friday, since that was a beginning of it all, which set the tone for pretty much the whole super extended weekend.

Now before I go on, I will say that I didn’t spend excessive amounts of money nor did I drink, nor did I use my flirting abilities to get free drinks, food or money.

To my knowledge anyway….

Want more? You’ll just have to come back on Monday won’t ya? Because that’s the day where I will be kicking off my 3 Part Easter Spectacular Series!!

See ya soon!

Hot Alpha Female

I’m sitting here, thinking … gawd am I actually seriously helping these people.

I mean my dating life isn’t necessarily perfect (there’s that word, better watch out for it). I’m not in the perfect relationship right now. My life isn’t perfect.

Why would I be qualified to be writing a dating and attraction blog. Like really?

My crappy conclusion was that I simply wasn’t. And that I would have to achieve all those things, in order to start writing again.

So that was it.

HAF gone bye bye.

Disappeared for however long I did, on a quest to make my life perfect.

Now I don’t know if any of you have been in pursuit of perfection, but its a pretty frustrating journey and I don’t recommend it.

But you know that quote, “how you do one thing is how you do everything?”. Click here to read more »

Women and men, both behave badly when it comes to relationships.

No-one is worse than the other, we are equally as bad as eachother.

But from what I can tell men are blaming women and men are blaming women.

Instead of uncovering the truth we run around eachother, creating scenarios, situations, reasons as to why it is not our fault.

The blame game is so on. And the competition is fierce.

So while I don’t really want to go in and fuel this debate, I want to clarify some of the excuses men and women say to themselves that prevents them for taking responsibilities for their own dating lives.

I don’t think that there is anyone to blame. But I do think that we have a responsibility to ourselves to discover and live the real truth.

But then again. If you want we can have a debate about who behaves worse than the other. You know, just for the fun of it.

So now I’m putting forth my case!

Here goes …
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So lets just get this straight. For the men and women, what is a surrendered single? And why would it be easier to approach her?

This was a concept developed by Laura Doyle in her book titled … The Surrendered Single. What I love about this book is that it is so controversial. Women get caught off guard by some of the things that are mentioned in here. Most importantly it goes against the grain of how women should act in the modern society we live in today, where women and men are continually playing on equal fields.

So what exactly does she say?

What is a Surrendered Single? And just what is she surrendering—and to whom?

A Surrendered Single recognizes that if she wants to attract the man with whom she can develop intimacy, she cannot control relationships. She cannot determine who asks her out, how he’ll do it, when he’ll call or e-mail, or if he’ll commit to her. A Surrendered Single may have unwittingly been trying to control, manipulate and force relationships previously, but no more. Click here to read more »

So for this five minute find a man monday’s I’m going to be answering a question one of my readers asked me.

The question was

“How do you recover from having the conversation with your man?”

Here is my response …

Hi Jill(fake name),

This is a great question and I’m sure a lot of my readers are going to benefits from it.

Well the first thing that I would do is back off and stop putting any more pressure on him. He may already be a little freaked out by the whole thing but you really have to determine this by his actions.

Is he calling you less? Is he not as available as much as he used to be? Is he acting weird around you? Or are things pretty much the same?

See the thing is, the reason why I’m so adamant about the NOT having the conversation is because I have been there myself.
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This is the final part to Jennie’s Rematch Story. You can view part one here and part two here.

Jennie’s Response:

Hi Jennifer,

Well, here’s how it all went down. I hope you don’t mind a long message here, b/c I want to make sure I get the details right & let you know why I’ve made a final decision.

First, the wrestling match itself. I had no idea how this would go, to be honest. Even tho’ I beat him soundly the first time I knew he would be extra determined to beat me this time w/his male ego on the line. Plus, he was really trying hard to psych me out. We were at my apt. where I have a large mat I use to practice my judo rolls and do some yoga as well, and I was stretching to get ready. The whole time while I was doing this he was like “I am going to seriously kick your ass, you know”, and “When I pin you I might not let you up for a while”….but I just ignored him & kept stretching. He was all hyped up and aggressive & like “quit stalling, let’s go!” & all this really typical alpha male behavior. When I was limbered up I said “OK, I’m ready, just let me get my hair tied back.” (I have really long hair & the first time we wrestled it kept getting in my eyes so I made sure to tie it back in a ponytail this time….this became an important point later in the match.) He was staring me down and I have to admit, I felt a little nervous b/c even tho’ we’re about the same height (I’m 5’8″ & he’s maybe an inch or two taller) he probably outweighs my 125 lbs by a good 40 pounds or so and is fairly strong. I started to wonder if I was in over my head but I quickly put the thought out of my head & just told myself to remember my moves & training.
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Jennie Asked …..

I need advice! I’m a HAF myself, 22yo.

Basically, I think my boyfriend is being really pissy over something I didn’t think was a big deal. We were talking the other day about sports we no longer take part in but used to enjoy and I mentioned that I used to do judo in college and was pretty good, even though I only received a beginner’s yellow belt.

He thought this was hilarious because I’m tall and blond and weigh around 125lbs, and I guess he didn’t think that a pretty girl could fight her way out of a paper bag, much less do a martial art.

So when he got done laughing at me (he really was laughing) I challenged him to a wrestling match. Long story short, I used some timely leg sweeps and wrist throws to send him to the floor a few times, and after a while he got so tired out that his strength advantage was gone, and I was able to pin him.

Well, I figured he would have learned his lesson, but he’s totally bent out of shape about it…he’s been pouty and obnoxious ever since the match and keeps challenging me to a rematch, saying I got lucky, and that he wasn’t trying hard…all this stuff to protect his macho ego.

So what do I do? Give him a rematch and let him win? (He would totally rub it in my face and say things like “I told you women can’t fight”). Or agree to a rematch and try my best again, risking another blow to his ego if he loses? Or just refuse and tell him to deal with it? (I’ve tried that last option and he just won’t let it go).

And please tell me–have YOU ever beaten a guy at something physical and had him react this way?

Please advise!
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This is my video response to Silvereyed who left me a comment asking for my advice on a guy that she had been dating for 3 months and then all of a sudden decided to stop calling her.

Here I discuss the male mind. Why guys do what they do. And better yet what you can do about it to combat it!

All in 5 Minutes!!!

Don’t you guys just love MONDAYS!

Keep a look at out for Friday because thats when ill be coming out with another post.

Enjoy guys

Hot Alpha Female