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<channel>
	<title>Hot Alpha Female</title>
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	<link>http://hotalphafemale.com</link>
	<description>Brutally Honest Dating Advice ...</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jul 2010 04:52:43 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>How To Overcome Being A Control FREAK!</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/07/how-to-overcome-being-a-control-freak.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/07/how-to-overcome-being-a-control-freak.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jul 2010 04:34:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Girls]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Guys]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Attitude]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dating Issues]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dating Rules]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Esteem]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Single Life]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development Advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Single and Dating Advice]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/?p=361</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
and actually be happy! …&#8230;
So we all at times can be a little controlling. And at other times we can also be a little bit of a FREAK. But overcoming being a control freak is not as hard as it sounds. It just takes a little bit of practice, patience and faith.
Now there is no [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;'>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</a> <small>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/07/im-addicted-to-being-single.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single'>I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single</a> <small>There you have it. I said it. The big secret...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/02/why-dating-multiple-guys-is-great-for-you.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Why Dating Multiple Guys - Is GREAT For You!'>Why Dating Multiple Guys - Is GREAT For You!</a> <small>In the dating game it has always been a debated...</small></li></ol>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/07/how-to-overcome-being-a-control-freak.html"><img class="size-medium wp-image-363 alignleft" title="ispc0980091" src="http://hotalphafemale.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/ispc0980091-199x300.jpg" alt="" width="199" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>and actually be happy! …&#8230;</p>
<p>So we all at times can be a little controlling. And at other times we can also be a little bit of a FREAK. But overcoming being a control freak is not as hard as it sounds. It just takes a little bit of practice, patience and faith.</p>
<p>Now there is no better person to talk to you right now about control. Because me and control use to be the best of buddies. I made sure my partner at the time met my expectations and in return that control gave me the “so called security and safety” which deep down I craved. So how did he meet my expectations? I dragged him to personal development seminars, I put some ambition in him, I got him to eat healthier, dress smarter, act nicer … you name it and I did it. And at the end of it, I had a guy who I didn&#8217;t recognise nor respected because he didn&#8217;t have the guts to stand up for himself.<br />
<span id="more-361"></span><br />
Talk about a catch 22. I was beside myself. How could by perfectly executed plan, fall to S**T in so little time? And how come I didn&#8217;t have the happiness and fulfilment that I thought control was suppose to give me?</p>
<p>This is a very common problem men and women are facing today in their dating lives and more importantly in their relationships. Its this inability to let it go; to accept the person and the situation that is in front of you. There is so much pushing against, so much wishing things were different and no understanding that “this is where you are and exactly where you need to be”.</p>
<p>The truth is I had to figure out that the fulfilment and the happiness doesn&#8217;t come from the attempting the control everything outside of you. It comes from the ability to control everything that is going on inside of you. Its about inquiring about what&#8217;s “within” and just being “ok” with what you find. Too many people are focused on fixing the people around them, when really the one that needs work is them. To be honest its a lot easier to focus fixing someone “else” rather than spending time “fixing” yourself.</p>
<p>So how did I manage to stop the control in my relationships? Well after that relationship ended I have to learn to relinquish control when it came to dating. I have to accept that some people were going to be “into me” and some were not. I have to accept that I didn&#8217;t “know” where any potential relationship was going. I had to accept the way I felt about a particular person and instead of resisting it, just sitting with the feeling. I had to accept that at the time I was single and that was perfectly ok. I had to realise that if there was something I wanted to improve in someone else that I was the one that probably had to make that improvement in my life.</p>
<p>Once your in this habit its easy to take it to form a healthy relationship with someone you really care about. You can actually create a real relationship based between two people meeting each other needs rather than being in a relationship to purely meet your own. When you relinquish that control you find that freedom and joy you had always been looking for.</p>
<p>Nowdays I don&#8217;t have the urge to make my partner into a “better person” - he is doing a great job on his own. My plan is not to have a plan. I don&#8217;t need to worry about what he should wear, what he should eat and what he should spend his time on. I feel safe and secure knowing that relinquishing that control gives me the freedom and the happiness that I really desire. I use the energy I would exert on fixing my partner on doing things that make me feel good. I don&#8217;t need to know what is going to happen next and only focus on what is happening right now. And most importantly I trust that as long as you remain authentic in that relationship; no matter if it lasts a lifetime or ends tomorrow that you did the best you knew how, with who you were at that given point in time – and that is more than enough.</p>
<p>So how about you guys give it a shot too? =P</p>
<p>Hot Alpha Female</p>


<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;'>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</a> <small>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/07/im-addicted-to-being-single.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single'>I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single</a> <small>There you have it. I said it. The big secret...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/02/why-dating-multiple-guys-is-great-for-you.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Why Dating Multiple Guys - Is GREAT For You!'>Why Dating Multiple Guys - Is GREAT For You!</a> <small>In the dating game it has always been a debated...</small></li></ol></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Is Love Enough?</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/is-love-enough.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/is-love-enough.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jun 2010 03:36:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Attitude]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Devlopment]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dating and Relating]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/?p=349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don&#8217;t worry I was one of those girls that dreamed, that preyed, that wished it was so. That meeting the right person would dissolve any issues of conflict, fighting or heaven forbid a staleness of passion for each other.
But I was slapped in the face by the cold hard truth. [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/09/take-my-shite-and-ill-love-you-forver.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Take my shite and I&#8217;ll love you FORVER'>Take my shite and I&#8217;ll love you FORVER</a> <small>Ok so we all know that women are testing all...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/09/hafs-confessions-one-thing-to-remember-about-how-to-keep-the-passion-in-your-relationship.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: HAFS CONFESSIONS - One Thing To Remember About How To Keep The Passion In Your Relationship'>HAFS CONFESSIONS - One Thing To Remember About How To Keep The Passion In Your Relationship</a> <small>This is officially DAY TWO of our NEW Audio Series...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/about' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: About'>About</a> <small>Just a girl, who has had some dating experience, read...</small></li></ol>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/is-love-enough.html"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-348" title="culs073808" src="http://hotalphafemale.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/culs073808-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a></p>
<p>In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don&#8217;t worry I was one of those girls that dreamed, that preyed, that wished it was so. That meeting the right person would dissolve any issues of conflict, fighting or heaven forbid a staleness of passion for each other.</p>
<p>But I was slapped in the face by the cold hard truth. That to have a great dating relationship, to have a great long term relationship you are going to need a little more than a so called &#8220;ever lasting love&#8221; for each other.<span id="more-349"></span></p>
<p>Because you know what? Passion only ever lasts for so long and really nothing in this life lasts forever. We grow up, we mature, we get old and then we start shrinking. Not the pyramids, the oceans, nor your “good moods” can last forever. This is a simple truth of life.</p>
<p>So as we are riding the turbulent waves of life; good and bad, sad and happy, passionate and bored - the passion in our relationship can also waver. The truth is to have a great relationship - you are going to have to step up to the plate and be great at a lot of different things.</p>
<p>You are going to have to be great at communicating, listening and being patient. You are going to have to at times refrain from yelling, refrain from breaking down. You are going to have to learn to sometimes put someone else&#8217;s needs before your own. To smile when you feel down, to give when all you do is feel like taking and to be empathetic when really you want to bitch slap them.</p>
<p>I see so many guys and girls out there waiting. Waiting for the right person to come along. Waiting for the right relationship to appear in front of them. Waiting for the right moment to come past, sweep them off their feet and wash away their worries.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ll this isn&#8217;t a movie and there is no guaranteed happy ending. Your relationships are what you make of them and there is no single moment that is any better than the other. You can&#8217;t put your life on hold even if you tried.</p>
<p>So in answer to my original question, is love enough to make a great relationship. No its not and it never will be. This is reality …&#8230; not &#8220;Sleepless in Seattle&#8221;. But if love is only part of what makes a great relationship and you have it, then the good news is that your already half way there &#8230;.</p>
<p>It means that if you love each other then it means that you will fight to be together, it means that you will do things for this person that you wouldn&#8217;t do for anyone else, it means that your heart is open to forgiveness and that for once you put someone&#8217;s needs before your own. Love is a truly magical thing and every one who has found it no matter for how long or short that may have been – has been truly blessed with a magical experience that cannot be traded for anything in the world.</p>
<p>So what are you going to do to MAKE it a great and long lasting love?</p>
<p>Hot Alpha Female</p>


<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/09/take-my-shite-and-ill-love-you-forver.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Take my shite and I&#8217;ll love you FORVER'>Take my shite and I&#8217;ll love you FORVER</a> <small>Ok so we all know that women are testing all...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/09/hafs-confessions-one-thing-to-remember-about-how-to-keep-the-passion-in-your-relationship.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: HAFS CONFESSIONS - One Thing To Remember About How To Keep The Passion In Your Relationship'>HAFS CONFESSIONS - One Thing To Remember About How To Keep The Passion In Your Relationship</a> <small>This is officially DAY TWO of our NEW Audio Series...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/about' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: About'>About</a> <small>Just a girl, who has had some dating experience, read...</small></li></ol></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hot Alpha Female Website MAKEOVER!</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/hot-alpha-female-website-makeover.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/hot-alpha-female-website-makeover.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:18:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Main]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Blog Updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/?p=343</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
So for my loyal readers, you may have realised that I have moved off blogger and onto my own BLOG! Yes, that&#8217;s right, Hot Alpha Female &#8220;The Blog&#8221; has undergone a MAJOR overhaul (I don&#8217;t know what other makeover you were thinking about!)
So hope you guys like the look and feel of this website. I [...]


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/hot-alpha-female-website-makeover.html"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-342" title="create-new-blog-commoncraft-0" src="http://hotalphafemale.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/create-new-blog-commoncraft-0-299x300.jpg" alt="" width="299" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>So for my loyal readers, you may have realised that I have moved off blogger and onto my own BLOG! Yes, that&#8217;s right, Hot Alpha Female &#8220;The Blog&#8221; has undergone a MAJOR overhaul (I don&#8217;t know what other makeover you were thinking about!)</p>
<p>So hope you guys like the look and feel of this website. I really wanted something that was more user friendly and easier on the eyes, so you guys can find what you want &#8230; and find it fast!</p>
<p>Like with all new things, there are heaps of little bugs I need to iron out, but don&#8217;t worry I&#8217;m totally onto it! <span id="more-343"></span></p>
<p>In the meantime, I would love your feedback on the new website, any suggestions on things you want to see on here as well as pointing out anythings that need to be fixed =)</p>
<p>Thanks guys for all your loyal readership, don&#8217;t worry there is a lot more interesting and juicy content coming out your way!</p>
<p>Unfortunately I haven&#8217;t been able to figure out how to transfer all my RSS subscribers from blogger onto here, so if you guys were subscribed to my old blog, then you are going to have to resubscribe (Sorry!)</p>
<p>You can do this <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/hotalphafemale/MTpI">right here </a></p>
<p>Look out for the next post which will be coming out on Wednesday 9th June 2010. You guys are gonna love it!</p>
<p>Hot Alpha Female</p>


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		<item>
		<title>The I Dont Care Factor - How It Can Work For YOU!</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/04/the-i-dont-care-factor-how-it-can-work-for-you.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/04/the-i-dont-care-factor-how-it-can-work-for-you.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Apr 2010 02:13:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Attitude]]></category>

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		<category><![CDATA[Single Life]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development Advice]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/04/the-i-dont-care-factor-how-it-can-work-for-you.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When it comes to dating there are so many frustrated boys and girls out there a common statement is &#8221; I just don&#8217;t care anymore&#8221;.
More or less these are people who are in a &#8220;single&#8221; rut as I would say. There is one instance where this statement could be a turning point in their dating [...]


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/04/the-i-dont-care-factor-how-it-can-work-for-you.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463894076985113234" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 300px; float: left; height: 308px; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYt-is7F94/S9Omts0O-pI/AAAAAAAAAcw/euOezz-_Frw/s320/ADJF42.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">When it comes to dating there are so many frustrated boys and girls out there a common statement is &#8221; I just don&#8217;t care anymore&#8221;.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">More or less these are people who are in a &#8220;single&#8221; rut as I would say. There is one instance where this statement could be a turning point in their dating lives depending on what they mean when they say this.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">Ever heard of the cliche term, &#8220;you find someone when you are not looking for them&#8221; - well what does law of attraction have to say about that huh? So as I was thinking about this the other day, I came to a really awesome conclusion and now I’m going to share this with you.</span><br />
<span id="more-266"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">There are the two meanings that this one statement could have.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">When someone says &#8220;I just don&#8217;t care anymore&#8221; - most of the time you can see it on their face and hear it in their voice that they do care. They clearly care and they have been caring for a really long time and are now just frustrated and miserable that they still haven&#8217;t found someone. Ultimately they wear this statement as a badge of honur.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">&#8220;I&#8217;m cool&#8221; because &#8220;I don&#8217;t care anymore&#8221;.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">Yeh, your not fooling anyone &#8230;.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">Because as you make this statement it is clearly obvious to everyone around you that you do care, it does bother you and your miserable.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">These people will remain single for a little while longer.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">Then you have the people that say &#8220;I just don&#8217;t care anymore&#8221;- but what they have come to, is an acceptance that they haven’t found someone yet and the realization that they can be just as happy with or without a partner by their side.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">These are the people that go out there and celebrate life regardless of their relationship status, people who fully engaged in everything that they do.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">People who look at finding a partner as an addition to their life rather than the whole existence of their life. People who seek to understand themselves better, to learn about life and deal with every situation that comes their way.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">These people have been able to remove the anger from their lives, the wishing the wanting of something different to happen to them, than what IS happening to right now.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">Every single day that I am in a relationship I realize how much &#8220;being single&#8221; was practice to have a better relationship.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">Yet it can be hard to see this when you are single and have been for quite some time. All I can say is that being single is a process, it’s a journey and it doesn&#8217;t stop when you meet the right person.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">The trumpets don&#8217;t sound, music doesn&#8217;t start playing and no &#8220;happy ending&#8221; is in sight.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">As Margaret Bonnano once said &#8220;It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis&#8221;.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #666666;">SO with that said “the I don&#8217;t care factor&#8221; can be really effective - but only if you truly mean it, are detached from outcome and fully engaged with your life.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; font-weight: bold;">Hot Alpha Female</span></p>


<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/01/quit-complaining-and-just-be-happy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Quit Complaining and Just Be Happy!'>Quit Complaining and Just Be Happy!</a> <small>How many times have you heard about your friends complaining...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/how-to-tell-what-he-is-really-thinking.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How To Tell What He Is Really THINKING!'>How To Tell What He Is Really THINKING!</a> <small> Got ya with that headline right? Come-on, I'm a...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2009/11/3-step-proven-formula-to-remain-single-indefinitely.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 3 Step Proven Formula To Remain Single Indefinitely'>3 Step Proven Formula To Remain Single Indefinitely</a> <small>Now I’m going to share with you a step by...</small></li></ol></p>
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		<title>Cheating &#8230; Should You Tell Your Partner?</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/cheating-should-you-tell-your-partner.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/cheating-should-you-tell-your-partner.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:50:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Girls]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Guys]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dating Issues]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dating Rules]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Esteem]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Break Up Advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development Advice]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/cheating-should-you-tell-your-partner.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Now I&#8217;m sure if you are a person that has never been cheated on or done the cheating you definitely know someone who has.I&#8217;m hesitant to write about this situation - because I&#8217;ve never cheated or been cheated on (that I know of). So I&#8217;m worried that my perspective may be slightly skewed and just [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2009/06/i-go-on-dates-with-my-brother-2.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I Go On Dates &#8230; With My Brother'>I Go On Dates &#8230; With My Brother</a> <small> Haha, caught your attention there didn't I?Well you all...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2007/12/the-surrendered-alpha-female-is-it-really-possible.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Surrendered Alpha Female?! Is It Really Possible?'>The Surrendered Alpha Female?! Is It Really Possible?</a> <small>I just read an interesting blog post on Lone Chatelanine...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;'>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</a> <small>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of...</small></li></ol>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 100%;"><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/cheating-should-you-tell-your-partner.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445395984645002194" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 197px; float: left; height: 320px; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYt-is7F94/S5HuzA4ak9I/AAAAAAAAAcg/g8OAHUs1DEI/s320/A9BTFE.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><span style="font-family: georgia;">Now I&#8217;m sure if you are a person that has never been cheated on or done the cheating you definitely know someone who has.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">I&#8217;m hesitant to write about this situation - because I&#8217;ve never cheated or been cheated on (that I know of). So I&#8217;m worried that my perspective may be slightly skewed and just plain down right unrealistic.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">But I&#8217;m going to continue writing anyway. The truth is that besides the fact that I have never been in the situation before, I have definitely seen my friends and people I care about go through the emotional turmoil.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Lets admit it, cheating makes things pretty messy. The fact is, its easy to say what you will or won&#8217;t do. Like &#8220;I&#8217;ll never cheat&#8221; or blurt out clichés like &#8220;once a cheater always a cheater&#8221;, but until you are in a particular situation, who knows what you will really do.</span><br />
<span id="more-265"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia;">Now first lets define what cheating is. Does that mean having some sort of a physical relationship with someone else, no matter how brief?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Does a kiss on the lips with someone other than your partner constitute as cheating? Does opening up to someone on an emotional level in addition to your partner constitute as emotional cheating and is therefore just as treacherous?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">I&#8217;m the kind of girl that loves black and white, right and wrong. But I&#8217;ve learnt that there are a lot of life situations where shades are grey, are all that exist.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Cheating is one of these areas.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">So to get us all running off the same base, lets just say that you have slept with someone else other than your partner. Lets say it was once and you wish to purse no other relationship with this partner in crime.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">What do you do?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Are you part of the &#8220;what he/she doesn&#8217;t know can&#8217;t hurt him/her&#8221; team?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Or are you more of an advocate of &#8220;he/she has a right to know&#8221; team?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Here is what I think.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Many argue that option A is better, because the act of telling your partner that you cheated on them, gives them the burden of bearing your own guilt.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">The fact is that &#8220;you&#8221; made the wrong decision and therefore you have to bear the consequences of withholding it to just yourself.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">People say that this option is better because then the relationship can continue its course and no one will be the wiser. You learnt your lesson. You know how you feel about your partner and you want to continue a relationship with them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">My thoughts? Taking this option is simply the easy way out. You convince yourself your doing your partner a favor by sparing them the pain of finding out that you were unfaithful to them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Well reality check. You still did it. And that is not going to change anything. I think its naive, ignorant and highly selfish to make that decision on your partner’s behalf.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">When you entered into a relationship you also created a contract - which I believe involves honesty and respect.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">What is honest and respectful about not telling you partner the truth?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">I think the real reason why people don&#8217;t want to tell a partner of their infidelity is because they are scared of losing them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Scared that telling the truth will completely abolish everything they have worked so hard to create.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">But let me tell you this. Honesty is always the best policy. Let me just play it out for you.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">You do tell him/him. They can&#8217;t forgive you and you guys end the relationship - learn your lessons and move on. Did you have something so &#8220;real&#8221; anyway if you had to go somewhere outside that relationship to get your needs met and couldn&#8217;t communicate your way out of it?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">You do tell him/her. You guys fight. Your both hurt. You communicate through it. You learn to develop a deeper trust for eachother, set new boundaries, learn to meet eachother needs and the relationship actually gets taken to a whole new level.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Some of you may think that option B is a utopian way of looking at it. The truth is, that many couples work through cheating and come out stronger at the end of it.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">For me this topic is really about whether you have the guts to face your fears, to own up to something that is going to eat at you for years anyways and a chance to learn something new about yourself.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Why would you run away and want to avoid that? Life wasn&#8217;t meant to be easy. Its there for us to challenge our fears and face the truth.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">I&#8217;m sure a lot of you have things to say about this. But what are your thoughts? If you have cheated on a partner, should you tell them or not. If so why/why not?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Looking forward to your comments</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia; color: #ff0000; font-weight: bold;">Hot Alpha Female</span></span></p>


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		<title>Why Does She Keep Dumping Me?</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/why-does-she-keep-dumping-me.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/why-does-she-keep-dumping-me.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:16:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Guys]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Breaking Up]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Understanding The Opposite Sex]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/why-does-she-keep-dumping-me.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;m sure there are many of YOU guys who have gone through a breakup - where the girl has clearly dumped you.
Breakups in general suck! But if its a different girl, but the same situation over and over again, then there has to be something &#8220;Your&#8221; doing to contribute the ultimate ending of your relationship.
If [...]


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="480" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U9HoY-dTTyc&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U9HoY-dTTyc&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object></p>
<p>I&#8217;m sure there are many of YOU guys who have gone through a breakup - where the girl has clearly dumped you.</p>
<p>Breakups in general suck! But if its a different girl, but the same situation over and over again, then there has to be something &#8220;Your&#8221; doing to contribute the ultimate ending of your relationship.</p>
<p>If you can get her, thats one thing, but can you really keep her, because that in itself is the ultimate skill.</p>
<p>Jay and I don&#8217;t really believe in rules. But more guidelines, ways of thinking and principles. In this video we address some hot issues like;<br />
*Why girls like straight to your face and get away with it.</p>
<p>*The truth about &#8220;being yourself&#8221; and what really works.</p>
<p>*What are some attractive factors that keep a girl interested and begging for MORE MORE MORE!</p>
<p>Next post is coming out on Friday! - <a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/03/cheating-should-you-tell-your-partner.html" target="_blank">Cheating, To Tell or Not To Tell </a>&#8230;.</p>


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		<title>Wicked Wednesdays! Why Do Women Send Out Confusing Signals? &#8230;</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/wicked-wednesdays-why-do-women-send-out-confusing-signals.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/wicked-wednesdays-why-do-women-send-out-confusing-signals.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Find A Woman Wednesdays]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Wicked Wednesdays]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/wicked-wednesdays-why-do-women-send-out-confusing-signals.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Lets face it, us women can be a bunch of moody &#8230; group at times and this is more confusing to a guy than it is to us.But as a guy how can you really learn to deal with this at all? How to you know the difference between when a girl is saying something [...]


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<p><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Lets face it, us women can be a bunch of moody &#8230; group at times and this is more confusing to a guy than it is to us.</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">But as a guy how can you really learn to deal with this at all? How to you know the difference between when a girl is saying something she means or she is just saying something for the sake of it?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Well in my </span><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPdktKRUu0w">newest video</a><span style="font-family: georgia;"> with accomplice Jay - We tackle this question head on! Watch out for more weekly videos from my new channel </span><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.youtube.com/user/JenAndJayLive">JenandJayLive</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #666666;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Let me know your thoughts.</span></p>
<p></span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;">Hot Alpha Female</span></p>


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		<title>How To Tell What He Is Really THINKING!</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/how-to-tell-what-he-is-really-thinking.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/how-to-tell-what-he-is-really-thinking.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:05:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Alpha Females]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Main]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Single Life]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Girls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/?p=310</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Got ya with that headline right? Come-on, I&#8217;m a chick, I know the conversations we have over coffee or breakfast with the girlfriends, trying to figure out exactly what Mr. A is thinking and what he meant by saying that or doing this.
I must admit that girls love to fantasize. We love to make up [...]


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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/how-to-tell-what-he-is-really-thinking.html"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440193411850922370" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 320px; float: left; height: 214px; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYt-is7F94/S39zFa7LaYI/AAAAAAAAAcY/NUwchNLNMfk/s320/AC0KRK.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></p>
<p>Got ya with that headline right? Come-on, I&#8217;m a chick, I know the conversations we have over coffee or breakfast with the girlfriends, trying to figure out exactly what Mr. A is thinking and what he meant by saying that or doing this.</p>
<p>I must admit that girls love to fantasize. We love to make up stories in our head and hope for the best that it will turn out like that in reality.<br />
<span id="more-310"></span><br />
The truth is, this is probably the number one cause for drama in a girls dating or relationship life, because it sets up unrealistic expectations or outcomes which cannot really be controlled.</p>
<p>Usually a girls thinking goes along like this, &#8220;If only I knew what he really meant, when he said this, or looked at me that way. If I really knew then I would be happy, or I wouldn&#8217;t have to worry&#8221;.</p>
<p>No wonder dating and relationships can be so agonizing! That’s torture right there. Because the truth is, even if a guy tells you straight out what he is thinking, it still might not be the truth! You will still colour it with your perceptions, your beliefs and all these filtering systems in your mind.</p>
<p>We are hardly ever relating to an actual person anymore. More so just the thoughts of who &#8220;WE&#8221; believe them to be.</p>
<p>So I guess now you want an answer to the truth about what men are thinking …</p>
<p>Well here is my answer….</p>
<p>It doesn&#8217;t matter!</p>
<p>Yep. You girls are probably hating me right now. Some of you might be thinking, &#8220;What do you mean it doesn&#8217;t matter, how does it not matter?!&#8221;</p>
<p>Yeh I love you too.</p>
<p>No, truly I do care about you guys and that is exactly why I&#8217;m telling you &#8220;as it is&#8221;.</p>
<p>The truth is, that guys don&#8217;t anal-yse as much as we do.</p>
<p>The truth is, if you really want to know how a guy feels about you, look at his actions.</p>
<p>Action is the language of men. That’s your gauge.</p>
<p>If a guy is interested in you, he will chase you down like no tomorrow. Men are hunters. Your the prey. Let them do their job.</p>
<p>Common situations for single gals<br />
So if there is a guy you like and things are going well. Then all of a sudden he is no longer calling you, contacting you or asking you out on dates.</p>
<p>Do yourself a flavour and listen what he is really saying. His actions show that he is not chasing you. Therefore for whatever reason, he has lost interest. I know it sucks.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t take it personally. Unless there was something really crazy that you did, that scared him away.</p>
<p>In that case, fix that up and keep on going.</p>
<p>Common situation for gals in a relationship<br />
So a guy tells you he loves you. Ok its called a Tuesday. But how do you really know?<br />
Well does he ask you what’s wrong when you seem in a stinky mood? Does he make the effort to see and contact you? When you make a request or tell him about something you need, does he step up to the platter?</p>
<p>Its easy to love a person on a good day, when all things are going well. But real love is when a person sticks by you thick and thin. Good and bad days and doesn&#8217;t love you any less for it.</p>
<p>In this day and age, words are easy to come by and easy to say.Many people these days say one thing and then do another. So don&#8217;t fall into that pitfall. You are looking for people who are not only true to their word, but have their actions match their words.</p>
<p>So next time your wondering if a guy is really interested in you, or into you. Really listen. By observing what he does.</p>
<p>Matching words with actions is what you are looking for. You deserve nothing less.</p>
<p>Men: Do you agree? Men speak by actions?</p>
<p>Women: have any stories to share in relation to this?</p>
<p>Love to hear your thoughts.</p>
<p>Hot Alpha Female</p>


<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/11/who-says-you-cant-have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Who Says You Cant Have Your Cake And Eat It Too?'>Who Says You Cant Have Your Cake And Eat It Too?</a> <small>You can have your cake and eat it too!I'm going...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2007/12/the-paradox-of-the-alpha-female.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Paradox Of The Alpha Female'>The Paradox Of The Alpha Female</a> <small> This is one of the responses to a great...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;'>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</a> <small>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of...</small></li></ol></p>
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		<title>The Top 3 Cliches of Attracting An Ideal Mate EXPOSED!</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/do-you-like-dating-people-with-more-problems-than-you.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/do-you-like-dating-people-with-more-problems-than-you.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:39:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Girls]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Guys]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Alpha Females]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dating Issues]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Esteem]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Single Life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/do-you-like-dating-people-with-more-problems-than-you.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Now I’m sure after a few seconds of googling that you will be able to find every book, article and seminar under the sun that will tell you how to find the right guy/girl.
Well the truth is, by the 10th article you’ve read, you realise that all the advice is all the same all CR*P.
Its [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/07/im-addicted-to-being-single.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single'>I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single</a> <small>There you have it. I said it. The big secret...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;'>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</a> <small>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/06/mrmrs-right-aint-what-you-have-in-mind.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Mr/Mrs Right - Aint What You Have In Mind'>Mr/Mrs Right - Aint What You Have In Mind</a> <small>OK so last night while I was out shopping for...</small></li></ol>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/do-you-like-dating-people-with-more-problems-than-you.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5412468770176875874" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 215px; float: left; height: 320px; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYt-is7F94/Sxzzq4RJvWI/AAAAAAAAAbY/VQqASfady14/s320/ExposedLogoPink.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Now I’m sure after a few seconds of googling that you will be able to find every book, article and seminar under the sun that will tell you how to find the right guy/girl.</p>
<p>Well the truth is, by the 10th article you’ve read, you realise that all the advice is all the same all CR*P.</p>
<p>Its boring. Its cliché. Its unrealistic. It doesn’t work.</p>
<p>I’m all about a straight forwards and practical approach these days (No BS approach), so what are all the other people saying?<br />
1) Make a list of your ideal partner<br />
2) Get comfortable with single life<br />
3) Be the person you want to attract<br />
<span id="more-261"></span><br />
I mean fair comment. They all look like reasonable things to follow. Heck it seems that on the surface that they would even seem to work.</p>
<p>So why is, for those of us that have tried it, we seem to be in a bigger whole which is getting harder and harder to dig out.</p>
<p>Well that’s because, these statements while are on track are missing the most simple truths.</p>
<p>So lets see what these are?</p>
<p><strong>Mistake # 1 - Make your ideal partner list</strong><br />
You know the list. The one where you state what they look like, their occupation, their ethnic background, whether or not they like outdoor sports and so on.</p>
<p>Well I say if you DON’T have one, then keep it that way. If you do have one – then scrap it. And scrap it now!</p>
<p>Why? Because while to good to know what you are looking for, most of you are so deluded if the right person smacked you in the face, you still wouldn’t know what hit you.</p>
<p><strong>Truth</strong><br />
Having a list, keeps you in this fantasy, Hollywood romantic comedy movie – So when someone who could be potentially a great match for you comes along … you have no time to notice how amazing they are, because they don’t fit that picture you have in your head.</p>
<p>If you must make a list, then make a list of things that are important to you.</p>
<p>What are you values? What are your priorities? What makes you laugh or smile? What gets you up in the morning?</p>
<p>Once you figure out this, then you will be closer to figuring out what partner would really suit you and what their values would be.</p>
<p>Make sure to leave out the superficial stuff … Looks, ethnic background, financial status.</p>
<p>Focus on values, genuine, loyal, compassionate, understanding, great sense of dry humour etc.</p>
<p><strong>Mistake # 2 – Get comfortable with being single</strong><br />
Course you have to enjoy yourself, but I know for a fact there are a lot of you that can’t stand being single.</p>
<p>Ok fair enough. I get it. People tell you, you should be so happy your single. Your young, free and you can do whatever you want!</p>
<p>So why are you moping at home, watching Seinfeld re-runs wishing you had someone to laugh with? Why are you pissed off that all your other single friends are getting significant others?</p>
<p><strong>Truth</strong><br />
People say get comfortable with being single, well I say get really really uncomfortable with being single and get comfortable with being in a relationship!</p>
<p>Wow. That sounds like totally contradictory. Well, welcome to my blog – glad you could join.</p>
<p>In fact I&#8217;m saying look at all the things in your life that are keeping you single. Do you get with your girlfriends on a weekly basis and complain, whine and moan about the opposite sex? Do you have a whole bunch of single guy friends who you play poker every week who bag out any of the guys who have girlfriends and appear a bit “whipped?”</p>
<p>I say if you are really serious about finding a mate, then simply replace these social occasions with dinner with friends who are in happy healthy relationships.</p>
<p>Replace these with social occasions with attending events you have a specific interest in, which also gives you the opportunity to meet someone like minded.</p>
<p>Celebrate where you are right now and also celebrate the joy of what it would be like to BE in a relationship too.</p>
<p>On some level, you are going to have to shift your energy towards this, whether this be an subconscious or conscious effort.</p>
<p><strong>Mistake # 3 – Be the person you want to attract</strong><br />
OK well this isn’t real a mistake. The point is very valid, is just some people misinterpret how you do this.</p>
<p>What does becoming the person you want to attract entail? Does it involve day dreaming, making lists and fantasizing about how happy you are going to be when you meet your ideal mate?</p>
<p>Does it involve sitting back and then going, “come and get me baby!”</p>
<p>Well if you haven’t guessed it, No, No and NOOO.</p>
<p><strong>Truth</strong><br />
This step involves really engaging in your own life. It means looking at life as the one and only chance you have got, so making the most out of it.</p>
<p>It means to start focusing on your life and how you feel about it, instead of how it will feel when you find someone special.</p>
<p>Its about controlling your internal world so you can transform your external world.</p>
<p>The most important thing is that you feel good in this moment. A relationship that is a struggle to build in the beginning will only be a reflection of the challenges that will be experienced during its fruition (&lt;&#8212;&#8212; Isn’t that a sexy word?!)</p>
<p>The challenge is to stay absolutely present and in this moment. You can use things like visualizations, diary writing, mind movies *check the links at the bottom* or any practice that makes you feel good about yourself and your life.</p>
<p>Do what feels right for you. There are no right and wrongs.</p>
<p>I can guarantee that people who have been able to attract an ideal partner into their life have undergone this process, consciously or subconsciously.</p>
<p>So remember put down the lists, get off your butt and get into your life.</p>
<p>It has worked for me and I’m pretty sure it will work for you too!</p>
<p>Thoughts or comments? Feel free to leave them below, would love to hear them =)</p>
<p>P.s. <a href="http://www.mindmovies.com/?11823 " target="_blank">Mind movies</a> have really worked a treat for me =) I created mine more than 2 years ago and whilst it was fun it also allowed me to start feeling good in the moment. If you read my article you will realise that this is very important.</p>
<p>Here is the link, if you want to know how to <a href="http://www.mindmovies.com/?11823 " target="_blank">make your own</a>.</p>
<p>Hot Alpha Female</p>


<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/07/im-addicted-to-being-single.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single'>I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single</a> <small>There you have it. I said it. The big secret...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;'>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</a> <small>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/06/mrmrs-right-aint-what-you-have-in-mind.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Mr/Mrs Right - Aint What You Have In Mind'>Mr/Mrs Right - Aint What You Have In Mind</a> <small>OK so last night while I was out shopping for...</small></li></ol></p>
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		<item>
		<title>So Im Seeing This Guy &#8230;</title>
		<link>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html</link>
		<comments>http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:13:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hotalphafemale</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Advice For Girls]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Attitude]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Inner Game]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Devlopment]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Self Esteem]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Single Life]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been away. The truth is I have been here the whole time, racking my brain as to what to write about. I have about 10 or 12 half written posts which I just can’t bear to finish. My mind [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/07/im-addicted-to-being-single.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single'>I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single</a> <small>There you have it. I said it. The big secret...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/is-love-enough.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Is Love Enough?'>Is Love Enough?</a> <small> In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don't worry I was...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/about' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: About'>About</a> <small>Just a girl, who has had some dating experience, read...</small></li></ol>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/02/so-im-seeing-this-guy.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433973904914321714" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 320px; float: left; height: 213px; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYt-is7F94/S2laeeEpETI/AAAAAAAAAcA/Rp9_SQlW8-c/s320/rds118212.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been away. The truth is I have been here the whole time, racking my brain as to what to write about. I have about 10 or 12 half written posts which I just can’t bear to finish. My mind is heavy, my writing is slow. And for the life of me, I just couldn’t figure out what was going on.</p>
<p>So I guess I just have to be honest with you guys, clear my chest and free my mind. About three months ago I just started seeing this really special guy. A guy who already has enriched my life is so many ways and taught me more about relationships in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years.<br />
<span id="more-260"></span><br />
In this whirlwind beautiful romance which I could have only made up in an epic fiction novel, I have found that my energy has been refocused on ideas about relationships and dating that are MORE than just about “how to attract and man or a woman” but on things that are deeper, more meaningful and more honest than I could have ever possibly imagined.</p>
<p>Therefore for now, I’m cutting back on all the airy fairy dating advice, I will admit my own advice got me to this wonderful relationship and I value its quality. I just think that from my experience if as individuals we look at our own truths, speak honestly about ourselves from the heart, finding someone to appreciate and love that …. is very easy. So why not get to that stuff first?</p>
<p>So maybe it has been difficult for me to write - because I was trying to write about a chapter in my book which for now has ended. A new one has opened and the only thing I feel I can do, is look forward and enjoy the new space by which I have so much to learn from.</p>
<p>Being essentially single and dating for about 3 years with some road stops along the way, taught me many things about myself, men and gave me greater emotional maturity. It taught me to set boundaries, to communicate properly, to respect myself and above all enjoy my own company. Something I have spoken about countless times on this blog.</p>
<p>You can’t date or truly find someone with a crazy list in your head, with a set of rules about what you should and shouldn’t do. I learnt that a true and genuine relationship comes from being able to truly connect and understand yourself first.</p>
<p>I’m reminded of one of my friends who happens to be single and frustrated with the dating game. Riddled with experiences of cat and mouse games, unavailable guys, blurred half relationships, I can totally understand her frustration. Been there, done that.</p>
<p>But the truth is singleness is a highlight of my life so far. It was so much fun, not knowing what was going to happen next, always been swept away by different men, being able to have the freedom to do what you want, when you wanted to. Its all part of the process and to be honest it makes far more interesting conversation at a girls night out laughing about horror dates or mysterious guys we just can’t figure out.</p>
<p>Being single is a self discovery process. So are relationships. Its just sometimes, you learn different things about yourself in each stage. I had single life handled. I was comfortable with it. I knew how to deal with it.</p>
<p>And that’s how life is. As soon as your are comfortable with something in your life, thinking that things are not going to change, then BANG. There comes another challenge. And another one and another. And its a beautiful thing.</p>
<p>So there it is. The god honest truth. Hot Alpha Female is seeing a guy. Just one. Exclusively. Phew. I feel great!! So on that note I’m going to wrap it up with a note for single girls and boys out there, with one piece of advice.</p>
<p>Don’t “want” or “long” for a relationship. It will not save you. It will not give you the happiness you have always dreamed about it. All of that starts today. Those things you are putting on hold until you find that partner … do them now. Enjoy the freedom of being single, celebrate it, have a party! When this happens the calling of “silent desperation” will no longer sound …</p>
<p>So here is to o a new chapter of Hot Alpha Female. You can be assured that the advice with be even more brutally honest than ever before.</p>
<p>Hope you guys are ready =)</p>
<p>Hot Alpha Female</p>


<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/07/im-addicted-to-being-single.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single'>I&#8217;m Addicted To Being Single</a> <small>There you have it. I said it. The big secret...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/2010/06/is-love-enough.html' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Is Love Enough?'>Is Love Enough?</a> <small> In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don't worry I was...</small></li><li><a href='http://hotalphafemale.com/about' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: About'>About</a> <small>Just a girl, who has had some dating experience, read...</small></li></ol></p>
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