In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
“If she says “hi” back, you are off to a good start.” ~Alec Greven (Author of “How to talk to girls”)
So, there is this girl that you fancy. Maybe you like her, maybe you feel like you know her the catch is you have never spoken to her in your life! And, here is the kicker. You want to speak to her, but you have no freaking IDEA what to say to her. You don’t know what to talk about, you don’t know how to get her attracted to you, and you don’t know how to ask her out on a date. No matter where you are in your dating/relating life the art of talking to girls is going to be a life long and valuable skill.
Now, obviously there are certain social skills that everyone could improve on. But first and foremost: state management is the key to having better conversations with women. When you feel better about yourself, when you feel good about who you are, when you are not trying to impress, when you are fully present – then you can truly have an incredibly interaction with a woman and create desire and attraction within her. All of this starts with being able to access a powerful state which is readily available within you once you know how to access it.
Let me ask you a few questions. Have you been able to really engage in a conversation with people (they don’t have to be women), had a good time, and god forbid were actually funny?
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt really comfortable and relaxed in – even though there may have been people around you who felt the complete opposite.
What exactly am I getting at? I’m saying that within each and every one of you is a place where you feel relaxed, cool, and confident. Whether that is playing your favorite video game, kicking ass at a sport you’ve been playing since you were a kid, acing an exam, driving on the race track – all of you have a place within you that makes you feel in many ways on the top of the world, invincible. Click here to read more »
“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~ James Joyce
First a big thank you. I have bought both the dollar guide and the course for $99. They have changed my perception not just on girls but on life especially with the “be the best man you can philosophy”. I have been living in the dark ages till then.
However! I would just mention one bad experience. I became very pro-active with one girl in my office. We lunched and she became open friendly and yielding. We frequently went to lunch and became close. However as she was going to be absent from the office for 6 months we did not my mutual consent take matters further although remained very close. In the last two days at the office though she hit me with a major sh*t test. She became cold and pre-occupied. I rode this out with smiles and gentle comments and with an hour before she was due to leave she gave me a smile that would have melted an Arctic icecap.
But I flunked it Jennifer. In that moment I resented what I felt was manipulative and controlling behavior. So I didn’t say goodbye and avoided her. I sent her an email saying I was sorry to miss saying goodbye but she did not respond when she frequently had done so before. Now I feel as though I have behaved foolishly and perhaps hurt her.
It goes to show how careful you must be with sh*t tests. But do you have any sympathy for my initial reaction based on what I thought was flaky behavior from her?
“Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another.” ~Kenny Ausubel
Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.
Now, I’m not going to go down the traditional route of all the typical relationship advice and say things like communication, listening, and understanding are all required. It’s pretty obvious that all of these are important. And, I don’t want to spend much more time on it because quite frankly I’m bored of it. Yes, they are all important. In fact, they help keep a couple bonded together and connected in various ways. But doing these things alone will result in a hot romance turning into a nice lifelong friendship if you don’t watch out. Click here to read more »
A big part of what I talk about revolves around this idea of indifference. Now, this can be quite tricky to apply if you don’t understand the basic premise behind it. I often see and observe men who have read a pick up book or have seen a cool 5 minute video on youtube and want to try out this whole “Act like I’m disinterested even though I really am”. And, usually it backfires in their face leaving the girl irritated, confused, and thinking “What is with that dude?” Heck, I’ve even seen my own brother try to do it with his current girlfriend, and I just shake my head and say to him, “She’ll see straight through it”. And, guess what? She usually does.
Alright, so you have got this awesome chick and things seem to appear to be going well. Just one small problem. You can’t get her to the next stage – whatever that may be. Maybe you can’t get her to commit to the next date. Maybe you can’t get her to commit to be in an exclusive relationship with you. Maybe you can’t get her to marry you. Whatever stage it is – I understand it sucks. And, it can be incredibly frustrating. It’s for this reason this stage needs to be handled with a certain finesse. Why? Because now you have gotten to know her a little it; so if she rejects you it’s going to be feel personal. So, why won’t a woman commit in the different stages? And, what can you do about it?
Reason # 1: She’s not ready to commit.
Timing in any phase of dating is a big issue. Not only do you have to meet the right person, but you have to meet the right person at the right time. I can tell you right now majority of women in their early to mid 20′s are a bit more free spirited. They want to explore life, find out who they are, really get stuck into building their career, and experiment with life a little. They also have a lot more choice of available men who want to date them. So, trying to tie them down too soon, could send off alarm bells. Women in their late 20′s to their mid 30′s are more looking to settle down. Click here to read more »
Commitment. It’s one of those exciting and scary issues to talk about, let alone experience. Sometimes it comes easily for both of you and sometimes it’s a constant battle to get to each new level. When I think about what relationship drama revolves around, it always ends up being about: commitment. One person wants to move it forward – the other doesn’t and vice versa. So, what happens when you are getting into a relationship and really like the pace that it’s going at. Say you really like this woman and enjoy getting to know her more. But, now she is pushing for more commitment and trying to move things faster along than what your comfortable with. This can happen in various stages of dating. For example, commitment issues can be experienced where a woman wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you and you are still trying to figure that out. It could also arise when a woman wants to move in with you and start building a life with you and you are not comfortable with doing this right now. Here is how you can get a woman to stop pushing so hard for commitment: Click here to read more »
Where is she? There are more than 3 billion women on this planet why can’t I just find ONE! I’m sure that has probably gone through your head at one point in time. And, I know how frustrating it can be. So, this post is for the frustrated man who just can’t see to find that special women. Let’s take a look at an email a gentleman named R sent me …
I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered attraction, but I have exercised it enough that for the first time in my life women are finding me attractive and I at least know enough to keep improving. Attraction isn’t my issue, and as I read more I find the gurus constantly going over old ground but never addressing what I believe is the massive bottleneck in my dating life.
Where the expletive deleted are all the single women?
I’m not meeting them. The world that I live in seems to be entirely populated by couples and single men, and every effort I have ever made over the years to meet single women has just brought me into contact with single men out looking for women with the same idea as me. For example, I took up jive dancing recently (which I love) but the classes are full of IT guys and the women are outnumbered.
I live in Oxford in the UK, a university city, there must be tens of thousands of young women here. Maths tells me that there must be a number of single women out there to equal all these men but try as I might I just can’t find them. An abundance mentality self-deception can only be pushed so far before it seems a bit ridiculous in these circumstances!
Do you have any thoughts on this? If you were the woman for me how and where am I supposed to find you? Is it possible to build a lifestyle where attractive single women are automatically coming to me? If so how?
It was hard to think about what to write in response to this email – but only if I believe your story about not being able to find attractive single women.
And, I don’t.(And, I’ll show you how this can benefit you in the long run and help you find that woman or those women)
Being able to attract a woman or the women of your choosing sometimes comes down to knowing what NOT to do and making sure you avoid it at all costs. Just like there is a formula for success equally there is a formula for failure.
Here are the three top reasons why men FAIL when it comes to attracting or interacting with women:
1. They are conflicted on how to act.
2. They don’t believe they truly deserve the woman they want.
3. They don’t have the skills or knowledge about triggering attraction and understanding what turns a woman off and what turns her on.
Underpinning that is one principle that once you are aware of can completely change the way you date, relate, communicate, and interact with women forever. You can find out what it is here