In 2005 Steve Jobs did a speech to a huge cast of college graduates. What he shared with them were some principles which were potentially life transforming.

There was one in particular that I truly connected with. And, it’s one that I believe will help you over your FEARS when you feel like: everything is on the line.

Perspective changes our world. And, that changes everything.

Hot Alpha Female

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt

You like this girl. Maybe she is a friend. Maybe she is someone you’ve already taken on a first date. Maybe she is someone who walked past you at college or at work and you already feel like you want her and you want her now. But here is the dilemma. You don’t know how to get her to the next stage. In the pick up community they call this escalating. Moving from one point to another in a forward direction. For example, from an approach to a number; from a conversation on the phone to a date; from a date to the bedroom; and so on. And, it’s during this process that can be really hard. Sometimes you don’t know where the next step is. Sometimes you don’t know if you can move forward (because some of you are scared of). Sometimes it’s because you are experiencing resistance and you don’t know what to do about it.

So here is an action plan for those of you that are in this position or have ever found yourself in this position in the past and exactly how to get out of it.

Evaluate what situation is in front of you.
Sometimes, when we are so focused on a goal and getting there you can lose sight of why you wanted it in the first place. For instance, maybe you had a goal of meeting this woman – because you think that having her in your life would make you are much happier person. Yet in the process of trying to get her into your life you are making yourself miserable. So, I ask you, “What is the point?” Part of evaluating the situation in front of you allows you to gain some perspective. It allows you to sit back and assess the situations. Sometimes having multiple opinions and perspectives can help with this process. Doing this will help you regain control over your emotions and consciously help you decide in which direction you would like to go. Click here to read more »

A big part of what I talk about revolves around this idea of indifference.  Now, this can be quite tricky to apply if you don’t understand the basic premise behind it. I often see and observe men who have read a pick up book or have seen a cool 5 minute video on youtube and want to try out this whole “Act like I’m disinterested even though I really am”. And, usually it backfires in their face leaving the girl irritated, confused, and thinking “What is with that dude?” Heck, I’ve even seen my own brother try to do it with his current girlfriend, and I just shake my head and say to him, “She’ll see straight through it”. And, guess what? She usually does.

So, what is it about faking indifference that can go so terribly wrong? Click here to read more »

Where is she? There are more than 3 billion women on this planet why can’t I just find ONE! I’m sure that has probably gone through your head at one point in time. And, I know how frustrating it can be. So, this post is for the frustrated man who just can’t see to find that special women. Let’s take a look at an email a gentleman named R sent me …

Heya Jen,

I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered attraction, but I have exercised it enough that for the first time in my life women are finding me attractive and I at least know enough to keep improving. Attraction isn’t my issue, and as I read more I find the gurus constantly going over old ground but never addressing what I believe is the massive bottleneck in my dating life.

Where the expletive deleted are all the single women?

I’m not meeting them. The world that I live in seems to be entirely populated by couples and single men, and every effort I have ever made over the years to meet single women has just brought me into contact with single men out looking for women with the same idea as me. For example, I took up jive dancing recently (which I love) but the classes are full of IT guys and the women are outnumbered.

I live in Oxford in the UK, a university city, there must be tens of thousands of young women here. Maths tells me that there must be a number of single women out there to equal all these men but try as I might I just can’t find them. An abundance mentality self-deception can only be pushed so far before it seems a bit ridiculous in these circumstances!

Do you have any thoughts on this? If you were the woman for me how and where am I supposed to find you? Is it possible to build a lifestyle where attractive single women are automatically coming to me? If so how?

Cheers!
R

It was hard to think about what to write in response to this email – but only if I believe your story about not being able to find attractive single women.

And, I don’t.(And, I’ll show you how this can benefit you in the long run and help you find that woman or those women)

Click here to read more »

Let’s answer the age old question, “Why do women like drama?” Now, if you ask a typical woman this, she will respond with quite a shocked look on her face and say something like, “Not all women like drama!!” And, then she would probably hint somehow that she was the exception. To which I would warn you that it’s the woman who say things like this – that are actually more inclined to engage in extremely dramatic behavior. And, drama can come in all sorts of forms. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times much more subtle than you could ever imagine.

So, let me eliminate all the confusion when I say, “ALL woman want and need attention!” Whether it’s overt or covert please just understand that on the core biological and primal level of a woman: it’s what she truly craves.

It’s my belief these subconscious primal urges aid a woman to elicit the help of men or women around them. Women seek attention and they test to see how much attention they can attract so they can be rest assured that when a time comes where they need HELP, they will be able to effortlessly receive it.

I believe attention seeking is a form of basic survival for a woman. Click here to read more »

A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”

At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again,
Matt

Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.

It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »

Have you ever dated a woman who just seemed a little off? Like she was too much effort? Like she was involved in WAY too much drama? Like she was always changing the way she felt about you? Like she was giving you mixed messages? I can see how dating and relating experiences like this can really confuse you. Not only that, I can see how it could really put you off women in general because of how easy it is to assume that all women are the same.

Some of you have just resigned yourself to the fact that woman are a species which does not WANT to be understood.

Or maybe you have at least thought about this at one point or another. Well, I’m here to shed some light on this (at times) mysterious issue. And it’s pretty easy to overcome once you have identified what the problem is. In most cases, women who are experiencing consistently high and low mood swings, denial and only slight degrees of self responsibility are more than likely to be emotionally immature.

This means a woman who is actually 35 years old can have the emotional maturity level of a 15 year old. I will also note that emotionally maturity is not entirely dependent on age. There are some younger women out there who are incredibly mature for their age and vice versa. There are a number of reasons why maturity does or does not develop but more on that later. First I want to help you guys really identify: what an emotionally immature woman looks like, what she does, and then why she is the way she is. Click here to read more »

Compliments, compliments, compliments. Do you give them? Do you withhold them? Do women even like them to begin with? Does complimenting a woman help her become more attracted to you? I know how incredibly confusing this question of whether to give compliments or whether to withhold them really is. Especially, since there are conflicting theories on their effectiveness in attracting women.

In light of this, my aim is to clear out the fog and to give you an woman’s perspective on the true meaning of compliments. My aim is to show you a much more effective, effortless, and natural way to create initial attraction; and most importantly, MAINTAIN that attraction with her.

What your typical woman will say about compliments.
Now, if you go around and ask your average/typical girl if she would be attracted to a guy who gives her plenty of compliments – she will literally clasp her hands together and in a high shrill voice say, “Of coooourse! I love them!” Then she will proceed to go out with her girlfriends to a nightclub, receive 10 or 20 compliments in the space of about 10 minutes and disregard all the men that are throwing all these lovely words at her.

So, here is the secret. Women like the “idea” of being showered in compliments rather than the “reality” of being showered in compliments. In fact, a woman being thrown compliments left, right, and center ONLY wants to do ONE thing. And, that is to take a shower! And, no, not the type of showering that you get to watch or participate in. Click here to read more »

There is an interesting phenomena my attention has been drawn to recently. It’s noticeable when a man has little problem attracting a desirable woman, yet witnesses a barrage of challenges in keeping her interested and happy. This can be devastating and (not to mention) baffling.

It doesn’t make sense, unless one becomes aware of the difference between triggering attraction and developing a relationship.

I’m drawn back to a memory of reading David Deangelo’s “Double Your Dating” which exposed me to a myriad of theories and skills to attract a woman. Yet, all he teaches about “keeping” a woman interested is boiled down to one line. That being, “once you get a woman, keep doing whatever you are doing.” And it’s not nearly as helpful or truthful as one might first think.

If this was the truth then pick up artists or men who learn about seducing and attracting women, would all have a great relationship with a woman they truly desired. Instead, they end up dodging from woman to woman, temporarily trying to satisfy an insatiable need. You could call it skimming the surface as these men are cautious and want to pull the plug before it gets too deep. Anything deeper will only open a whole can of worms, which for the moment do not want to be uncovered. Click here to read more »

When learning how to develop attraction with a woman, one of the first things that you are told is to learn to develop Alpha Male characteristics or become the ultimate alpha man.

And then usually the description you will here will be the antithesis of everything that a Beta Male represents. Therefore you hear that an Alpha Male is the exact opposite of a man that is wussy, approval seeking, predictable, needy, indecisive and uncertain about himself and the experiences around him.

So does that really mean that an Alpha Male is unpredictable, strongly dominant, a risk taker, outspoken and loves the centre of attention?

I think that there is a huge risk is assuming that an Alpha is just the pure opposite to a Beta male. Especially since there is only a small minority of people who could really be classified an ultra Alpha and ultra Beta. Majority of people are on a medium of this scale. The risk also comes from the fact that to truly create and maintain interest with a woman, one must display certain Alpha (dominance, leadership, assertiveness) and certain Beta characteristics (compassion, empathy, understanding, supportiveness). One must learn to appreciate both.

I was reading an article on askmen.com by Ross Jefferies who gave me inspiration from this post. Here is what he says … Click here to read more »