Self Development

A New Way To Look At Old Relationships

“Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened that didn’t need to happen.” ~ Byron Katie

Recently, a few of my close friends have been going through relationship breakups. Most of them are handling it well and learning a lot in the process. Having this at the forefront of my mind has caused me to think about relationships in a perspective that may be helpful for those of you going through a recent breakup or still trying to overcome one that happened a while ago.

 

Principle One: The purpose of relationships is growth.

This is a massive concept. So, I thought I would give it to you first (so you can spend the rest of the post digesting it). I could also follow it up with these next two statements:
Relationships are fluid rather than concrete. Relationships are about the process rather than the destination.

If I were to ask people what they think relationships are really about, they might answer along the lines of: “To be with someone who loves me unconditionally”, or “To be with someone who makes me happy”, or “To be with someone who makes me feel secure”, etc. And, the kind of unspoken general consensus of how one should tackle relationships is to, “Find the one you want to be with as quickly and as efficiently as possible”. With this last statement in mind it could easily be concluded that any relationship that didn’t serve a lifetime is considered to be a “failed relationship”.

But, what if every relationship served its own purpose? What if every relationship gave you an opportunity to grow? What is every past relationship was a stepping stone to something new and more desirable? What if every relationship you ever experienced was the perfect one that you needed to be with at the time?

If you think about your past relationships that have ended and apply this new perspective, you may just find some rare and beautiful gems of how each of these relationships have served you and helped you grow. Click here to read more »

What kind of man will you be this year?

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
~ Walt Disney

Maybe it’s not a question you have ever asked yourself – but this year, I would say it’s one question that you should. Have you noticed that life does NOT wait around for you? It’s always on a lightning fast course and you can choose to jump on the train or get left behind.

Therefore, it’s always important to consciously create the kind of life that you want. And, it’s equally important to consciously create the kind of man you WANT TO BECOME.

Why is this important in attracting a great quality woman? Because the quality of woman you attract will depend on the quality of man that you are.

You want better quality women? Then become the kind of man that she would be attracted to. This is the fundamental principle that you must grasp and apply in your life. It’s not just good enough to know this principle. You have to apply it in your life – you have live and breathe it.

So, I ask you again … What kind of man will you be this year? Now, I’m not saying that you have to revamp your entire life or personality. I’m just talking about maybe one or two qualities that you would really like to work on this year.

Would you like to be more proactive this year? Would you like to say YES to more things rather than the standard “no”? Would you like to be more assertive this year? Would you like to add new people to your life? Would you like to get rid of people in your life who are not serving you in any positive way? Would you like to get your body into a physical health and shape that you are proud of? Would you like to take more risks this year in the financial arena, in the relationship arena, in your personal arena? Would you like to finally do that ONE thing that you have always wanted to do – that you have always found an excuse to put off …. until now? Click here to read more »

Are you waiting for the right person to come along?

Love is flow and walls keep the flow out
~ Deepak Chopra

I recently wrote a newsletter for my exclusive readers about how to be the “complete package” (become an exclusive reader here). This was a little different from a lot of the articles, posts, and newsletters that I usually write about. The reason for this was that it was based on some of the more “superficial” things that help attract a woman. Things like your overall appearance, your competencies, and making your home more women friendly. Throughout this newsletter however I did emphasize first and foremost what is MOST important in attracting a woman. And, that being your confidence, presence, and charm. This is something that nice cologne or an interesting skill-set CANNOT compensate for.

And, on the topic of things that cannot be compensated for I wanted to talk about “finding love” or rather, “finding that special woman to love”. I know that a lot of you are in this place right now. Many of you are looking for ways you can attract that wondrous woman into your life that will somehow strip away the loneliness that none of you would outwardly like to admit exists.

And, while I talk about developing your presence, widening your skill set, building more self-esteem, and understanding women – all of these WILL NOT make much of a difference: until one thing happens. Click here to read more »

What Really Impresses A Woman?

“Do what today others won’t, so tomorrow, you can do what others can’t.”
~ Brian Rogers Loop

I’m sure you have heard of the various different triggers there are to attract and impress a woman. In most of my posts, I talk about the importance of becoming the best man that you can be. Now, I know that this is a very broad statement. So, today we are going to hone in on ONE character trait that is CRUCIAL in attracting and impressing a woman.

So, here it is:

“Be proactive”.

And, I mean “be proactive” rather than “being reactive”.I mean, face your life head on rather than darting around the edges.

Doing this leads to a sense of confidence that is unshakable. Unshakable confidence is impressive to women.

Being proactive is a byproduct of confidence. And, confidence is a byproduct of being proactive. Being proactive creates LIFE FORCE. It causes you to make decisions, do the difficult tasks, think ahead, and to be flexible. Being proactive means that you are the leader of your own life. You are out there taking charge rather than waiting for things to happen. More often than not, when you are proactive you feel more momentum in your life. You feel better about yourself. And, you feel more confident. And, so this upwards spiral continues.

Men often believe that women are attracted to the superficial things like looks, money, status, and so on. And, while I admit that some of these things can be helpful – they are more like the icing on the cake rather than what makes the actual cake. Because what makes the actual cake is “Character”. And, a man of GOOD CHARACTER is what women are looking for. Usually, when a man has a subset of character traits it’s easier for him to create a good career, have good relationships with his friends and family, and also take care of himself. Most men think that all women want is a guy who has all the superficial things going on in his life.

But, what they are really looking for is the “person” who had the ability to create and attract all those things into his life.

Click here to read more »

Become A Man’s Man Again …

“A man may conquer a million men in battle but one who conquers himself is, indeed, the greatest of conquerors.”
~ Buddha

Some of you may be thinking, “I thought I never lost it!” But let’s face it, today’s society is riddled with trends that intentionally or unintentionally emasculate the average man. I wish I could give you some soothing words to read like, “Don’t worry, it’s really not true”, or “Men have never been more masculine before”. But if you have just come back from a date that was less than worthy of even remembering or you are licking your wounds after a vicious attack by some woman at work who just thinks she’s “Queen of the damned“, then you know what I’m talking about.

So, welcome. I guarantee that “here” is a soft place you can rest/fall/pass out (at least for the next 5 minutes) because in this post I’m going to show you how you can reconnect with that masculine side of you and keep it for GOOD!

First, here is a trend alert. Sensitive new age guys (SNAGs) are OUT and the masculine alpha males (MAMs) are back in.

Fine print and conditions: Yes, there was a period where alpha males were NOT the hottest thing to be. No, not many women are going to admit that they secretly want the alpha males back in charge.

Here is the reason why: your metro man and your SNAG used to be a valuable and well sought out commodity. How cool would it be to be dating a guy who had all the qualities of a gay best friend BUT who wasn’t gay! Yay! Many would say. Ok, enough with the rhyming.

But shortly after women had traded in their rough and tough men for clean cut guys who wanted to talk about their feelings, they realized that dating and relating just wasn’t the same. In fact, it was lame. There I go again with a rap and a rhyme. HAF is here with what you need in time.

So, it’s time to stop letting the women think that they are in charge. Strap your balls back on and focus on being a man’s man yet again! It’s not for her. It’s for YOU. Click here to read more »

The 90/10 Rule: Doing vs Being

“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.”
- Thomas Fuller

In recent months, I have taken on board a number of coaching clients that has allowed me to gain more insight into what many of you guys are struggling with.

While initially all my clients have been focused on getting things “done” and learning “new skills”, I am always steering them in what may seem the opposite direction. That being: developing their character, blasting through their limiting beliefs, and helping them take the focus off external circumstances they cannot control and back onto internal processes which puts them in the driver’s seat.

As part of this process, there is one fundamental misunderstanding that the majority of men make when learning the process of connecting and interacting with women. That fact is that women don’t date men based on ONE particular skill or quality. When women are in the process of selecting a mate, they are looking for an “entire package”. And, no — not the one that you may be thinking of. Therefore, the focus should not be on getting one component exactly right, but getting the right amount of components together and integrating them fully.

Let’s take the example of the iceberg. Now, the point behind the iceberg theory is that only 10% of the actual iceberg is visible from above the water. While a massive 90% is beneath the water.

Now, back to the dating world, what accounts for the 10% and the 90%? Click here to read more »

Steve Jobs and Dating …

In 2005 Steve Jobs did a speech to a huge cast of college graduates. What he shared with them were some principles which were potentially life transforming.

There was one in particular that I truly connected with. And, it’s one that I believe will help you over your FEARS when you feel like: everything is on the line.

Perspective changes our world. And, that changes everything.

Hot Alpha Female

How Does A Girl Like “That” Date A Guy Like Me?

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.
~Buddha

I know “that” woman you are talking about. Ok, maybe not personally, but I know that you think she is the one woman or the one kind of woman that would really make all your dreams come true. Maybe she is uber hot. Maybe she is seriously sexy. Maybe you think you would have a killer connection with her. Fill in the blanks however you please.

Whether it’s a celebrity fantasy like Kim Kardashian, Angeline Jolie, Megan Fox or Jessica Alba; or it’s the girl next door; the girl at work; the best friend who you want to get to know in the “other way” – the same question keeps coming up.

“How do I get a girl like “that” to date a guy like me?”

Which is usually followed by a whole bunch of reasons your “mind” makes up which disqualifies you from dating a woman like this. In fact, the mind is a very powerful thing. And, even if a woman like “that” was interested in you – with that current mindset either you wouldn’t see it, or you would sabotage the process so a girl like “that” would eventually lose interest in you.

Now, I’m not going to go on another rant about how important mindset and self esteem is when attracting and dating good quality women (or maybe I am). I would suggest that if you can’t relate to any of what I’m saying – it’s probably because you have grown beyond this point. Congratulations. For everyone else .. keep reading. Click here to read more »

The Difference Between Real and Fake Indifference

A big part of what I talk about revolves around this idea of indifference.  Now, this can be quite tricky to apply if you don’t understand the basic premise behind it. I often see and observe men who have read a pick up book or have seen a cool 5 minute video on youtube and want to try out this whole “Act like I’m disinterested even though I really am”. And, usually it backfires in their face leaving the girl irritated, confused, and thinking “What is with that dude?” Heck, I’ve even seen my own brother try to do it with his current girlfriend, and I just shake my head and say to him, “She’ll see straight through it”. And, guess what? She usually does.

So, what is it about faking indifference that can go so terribly wrong? Click here to read more »

How To Get The One You Want … Or Not.

Problem: You really like this ONE girl, but for some reason you don’t know how to spark her interest. And, the harder you try, the more futile it appears to become. I get the same emails from a variety of different men all with the same fundamental problem, which I want to handle once and for all.

So, I ask you one question: Why this girl?

And, I’m sure that you will notice your mind start to spit out all sorts of different reasons. She is so funny, great, kind, attractive, different, etc. Some of you may find yourself drifting into some mental coma fantasy, dreaming about all the wonderful things you like and would like to do with this woman. Some of you may not even know what you like about this woman. In fact, all you may know is that you have the hots for her bad.

So, this leads me to the second problem I see. You like this girl and you have no freaking idea on how to get her interested in you. You don’t know how she feels. You don’t know how to spark her interest. You don’t know how to get her to breakup with her boyfriend and start dating you etc. Click here to read more »