Relationships

How To Overcome Being A Control FREAK!

and actually be happy! ……

So we all at times can be a little controlling. And at other times we can also be a little bit of a FREAK. But overcoming being a control freak is not as hard as it sounds. It just takes a little bit of practice, patience and faith.

Now there is no better person to talk to you right now about control. Because me and control use to be the best of buddies. I made sure my partner at the time met my expectations and in return that control gave me the “so called security and safety” which deep down I craved. So how did he meet my expectations? I dragged him to personal development seminars, I put some ambition in him, I got him to eat healthier, dress smarter, act nicer … you name it and I did it. And at the end of it, I had a guy who I didn’t recognise nor respected because he didn’t have the guts to stand up for himself.
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Is Love Enough?

In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don’t worry I was one of those girls that dreamed, that preyed, that wished it was so. That meeting the right person would dissolve any issues of conflict, fighting or heaven forbid a staleness of passion for each other.

But I was slapped in the face by the cold hard truth. That to have a great dating relationship, to have a great long term relationship you are going to need a little more than a so called “ever lasting love” for each other.

Because you know what? Passion only ever lasts for so long and really nothing in this life lasts forever. We grow up, we mature, we get old and then we start shrinking. Not the pyramids, the oceans, nor your “good moods” can last forever. This is a simple truth of life.

So as we are riding the turbulent waves of life; good and bad, sad and happy, passionate and bored – the passion in our relationship can also waver. The truth is to have a great relationship – you are going to have to step up to the plate and be great at a lot of different things. Click here to read more »

So Im Seeing This Guy …

Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been away. The truth is I have been here the whole time, racking my brain as to what to write about. I have about 10 or 12 half written posts which I just can’t bear to finish. My mind is heavy, my writing is slow. And for the life of me, I just couldn’t figure out what was going on.

So I guess I just have to be honest with you guys, clear my chest and free my mind. About three months ago I just started seeing this really special guy. A guy who already has enriched my life is so many ways and taught me more about relationships in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years.
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I Go On Dates … With My Brother

Haha, caught your attention there didn’t I?

Well you all must be thinking – what in the world does she mean?

HAF are u telling me, that you take your brother with you on dates?

No, no … wait … actually he has been on a group date with me once, but does that really count?

No I mean … I hang out with my brother. Just him and me and we have a great time together. Whether it be going to the movies, cooking at home, or going bush walking, I spend some good quality time with him.

We bond the most when we both do ski patrolling in the winter season.

Its kind of cool to be close to your brother. Its cool to be close to the people in your life. Its cool to spend not only time, but good quality time with the people you care about.

I’m not talking about .. hey lets just hang out, when its convenient. I mean actually scheduling time, prioritizing the important people in your life.If you don’t want to make a priority to see them, how important are they to you really? Click here to read more »

Weekend Post Special! – I Kicked His Butt And Now What? Part 2

So many of you have been following Jennie’s Dilemma with her boyfriend. Well here is the second part of this series and the advice I have to offer. For Part ONE click here.

Here is what Jennie said …

Hi Jennifer!

First, thanks so much for getting back to me. I can’t tell you how much i appreciate it. I can see why so many people are drawn to your blog!

So you’ve kind of asked some really good questions here, and maybe this will give you a clearer picture of what i’m dealing with: what’s got me so freaked out is that b4 we had this wrestling contest, he NEVER showed any signs of being a chauvinist jerk. Things were really pretty good and i thought he was a self confident guy. Then i pinned him and all hell broke loose. So i don’t know what to make of that.

But I did try to put myself in his shoes, & I realize that my knowing judo doesn’t mean anything to him. All he knows is, he took on a 5’8″, 125 lb. girl who’s pretty & has long hair and is as feminine as can be, and got his butt kicked. I remember how frustrated and angry he looked when he realized I had him locked down with my knees clamped on either side of his chest and his wrists pinned behind his head. And that’s why I asked you about the sports you had won against guys b/c this really is different. I was able to tire him out and then physically overpower him & I think it took a real psychological toll. Click here to read more »

Why A Man Stays When A Woman Has Her Storm

So a lot of you have already read my last post and made some very insightful and interesting comments.

Ok that was the nice way of putting it.

A lot of you don’t agree with what I have just said.

Maybe this is an area which i cannot be so articulate in as much as I would like to.

So I’m adding this video, so that maybe you guys will see the point that I’m attempting to get across.

For men to stand by their women they love … no matter what.

Enjoy

Hot Alpha Female

Take my shite and I’ll love you FORVER

Ok so we all know that women are testing all the time. Recently this has been re-enforced while I’m listening to Tony Robbins relationship DVD.

Not only are women testing while in the dating process. But they are also testing when it comes to being in a relationship.

As women we always want to know …

Do you really love me? Will you stick by us through thick and thin? Do you understand my real needs? Will you stand to me … so I know that you can stand up for me? Can you protect me? Will you protect me no matter what?

I think one thing that men get wrong, when a woman is storming is that whatever she is storming about is all HIS fault.

Then the guy feels inadequate and feels like a failure because he feels like he cannot solve her problems.

He feels like he can’t take care of his woman and no matter what he does … he is not enough.

Being “not enough” is one of human’s greatest fears. Click here to read more »

I’m Addicted To Being Single

There you have it. I said it. The big secret is out. Hot Alpha Female loves being single. Addicted to it even. More addicted than I am to chocolate. So spread the word. But not too far because eventually I’d like to get into a long term relationship again. Just not yet.

So to continue on with my “I love Week” – Today its being in love with “being single”.

So here is the thing that I discovered a little while ago.

If you are a male or female you are not single because of the reasons that you think you are. In fact its probably for reasons that you are not even aware of. Reasons that if I told you .. you would scoff at me and say .. are you serious?!
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What Defines A Successful Relationship? Its Not What You Think!

“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”

This was a question that lance posted on their blog like a couple of days ago. It’s a small competition that they are holding .. and if any of you know me, you know that I LOVE competitions. So I’m going to put my best foot forward.

So how do I define success in relationships? I’m wondering if he wants it in an e book or an encyclopedia collection … lol…

Seriously there is so much that goes into defining successful relationships. Now I know I could just cover the usual. Honesty, love, communication blah blah blah …

Yeh yeh I know that we need them …. I mean you have to be pretty slow to not realize that these are highly important things in ANY relationship.

But I’m going to go through some things that I think are SO important that a lot of people overlook. So you guys better be ready for it.  Click here to read more »

Get Over It Already – Breaking Up

Breaking up has got to be one of the suckiest times in our lives. I wish someone had warned me about how painful they really can be. But apparently I missed that memo. Getting back on your feet again and learning to trust someone again is a journey in itself. But ultimately break-ups lead to us understanding life, relationships and ourselves much more. Despite this it’s TOUGH. So I’m here to help by listing some of the inevitable stages of a break-up and what you can do about them to GET OVER IT!

Denial
First comes the fact that you even recognize that there is a problem and that he/she actually told you that they are breaking up with you. Essentially you are waiting for the “Hahahaha just kidding babe, I want you back”. But nothing seems to arrive. Click here to read more »