“Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another.” ~Kenny Ausubel

Being able to create attraction is one thing. But, being able to maintain it is another. If someone were to ask me, “Which more is more difficult?” my answer would be the latter. Too often couples start with an amazing spark/connection/attraction for each other only to have it fizzle out a week, a month, a year, or 10 years from now. Is there really a formula which will enable attraction to keep on going forever? I don’t know all the answers, not even close but I would like to share with you all some of the things I believe are key to maintaining that attraction in the long term.

Now, I’m not going to go down the traditional route of all the typical relationship advice and say things like communication, listening, and understanding are all required. It’s pretty obvious that all of these are important. And, I don’t want to spend much more time on it because quite frankly I’m bored of it. Yes, they are all important. In fact, they help keep a couple bonded together and connected in various ways. But doing these things alone will result in a hot romance turning into a nice lifelong friendship if you don’t watch out. Click here to read more »

A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”

At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again,
Matt

Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.

It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »

Some of you may be reading the heading right now and be thinking, “What do you mean it’s not relevant? It’s all that really matters!” Yes, well don’t worry, I’m still on your side. I’m not saying that you are committing yourself to a lifetime of dull, boring, and completely unexciting sexual experiences.

In fact, what I will be showing you is how you can have amazing, passionate, exciting, mind blowing sexual experiences with a woman that you care about. When posed with the idea of how important is sexual compatibility is I had to laugh. I believe it’s a great misconception that sexual compatibility is actually relevant at all. Having a sexual experience with your partner is an extension to the solid foundation you have built with them. It’s taking those same communication skills you have in everyday life and applying them to the bedroom. They are not two separate spaces. They are both part of the same whole. Sex is not some added bonus or icing on the cake. It makes up the cake.

Where compatibility really matters …
The core things that are required to create the solid foundation of a relationship are shared values, open lines of communication, unconditional acceptance, honesty, courage, emotional maturity, and the need and desire for both people to put their relationship first. The magic happens in the combination of all these factors working together. The magic happens when there is compatibility here on all levels! Click here to read more »

I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.

I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.

Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.

Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.

If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.

That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things. Click here to read more »

Compliments, compliments, compliments. Do you give them? Do you withhold them? Do women even like them to begin with? Does complimenting a woman help her become more attracted to you? I know how incredibly confusing this question of whether to give compliments or whether to withhold them really is. Especially, since there are conflicting theories on their effectiveness in attracting women.

In light of this, my aim is to clear out the fog and to give you an woman’s perspective on the true meaning of compliments. My aim is to show you a much more effective, effortless, and natural way to create initial attraction; and most importantly, MAINTAIN that attraction with her.

What your typical woman will say about compliments.
Now, if you go around and ask your average/typical girl if she would be attracted to a guy who gives her plenty of compliments – she will literally clasp her hands together and in a high shrill voice say, “Of coooourse! I love them!” Then she will proceed to go out with her girlfriends to a nightclub, receive 10 or 20 compliments in the space of about 10 minutes and disregard all the men that are throwing all these lovely words at her.

So, here is the secret. Women like the “idea” of being showered in compliments rather than the “reality” of being showered in compliments. In fact, a woman being thrown compliments left, right, and center ONLY wants to do ONE thing. And, that is to take a shower! And, no, not the type of showering that you get to watch or participate in. Click here to read more »

I just so happen to stumble across this very interesting website which talks about the different meanings of love and what it means to couples and people all around the world.

Sometimes I hesitate to talk about love. Because, it’s one of these topics which is undervalued and over analyzed. In fact I would go as far to say that love is one of those things that is only really talked about when something is wrong with it.

In many ways, our society can’t handle true, romantic, happy, passionate love. To many, it’s simply unbearable. Because the people who experience such love is very limited. So, instead of; talking about love or expressing romantic love it is; suppressed, ignored or nullified. To talk about love seems boring, unnecessary and plain unrealistic.

With that in mind, let’s talk about love. Because, despite what the majority of society may believe I think love is; exciting, delightful, deep, eye opening, and incredibly fulfilling.  Click here to read more »

Ok ok I admit it has been a little while since I have written my last post and I’m sure you have all been wondering where the hell I have been!

Well lets keep it short and simple. I just ended a relationship which had been going on for close to a year. And while I was in this relationship, I was finding it very hard to keep posting about dating and relating stuff. I would literally sit in front of the computer tapping my fingers drawing blanks. Very frustrating.

Now that it has ended I have this renewed passion to continue this blog.
It has been a portal for my own personal development as well as the readers who have been following it. So I can’t resist anymore!

So for those of you that are interested in all the juicy goss, of what happened, of some of the things I have learnt from the whole experience and where I’m going to go from here … READ ON!

This will be followed by my 3 top tips in getting over a breakup!

Click here to read more »

and actually be happy! ……

So we all at times can be a little controlling. And at other times we can also be a little bit of a FREAK. But overcoming being a control freak is not as hard as it sounds. It just takes a little bit of practice, patience and faith.

Now there is no better person to talk to you right now about control. Because me and control use to be the best of buddies. I made sure my partner at the time met my expectations and in return that control gave me the “so called security and safety” which deep down I craved. So how did he meet my expectations? I dragged him to personal development seminars, I put some ambition in him, I got him to eat healthier, dress smarter, act nicer … you name it and I did it. And at the end of it, I had a guy who I didn’t recognise nor respected because he didn’t have the guts to stand up for himself.
Click here to read more »

In a nutshell. Hell NO!! Don’t worry I was one of those girls that dreamed, that preyed, that wished it was so. That meeting the right person would dissolve any issues of conflict, fighting or heaven forbid a staleness of passion for each other.

But I was slapped in the face by the cold hard truth. That to have a great dating relationship, to have a great long term relationship you are going to need a little more than a so called “ever lasting love” for each other.

Because you know what? Passion only ever lasts for so long and really nothing in this life lasts forever. We grow up, we mature, we get old and then we start shrinking. Not the pyramids, the oceans, nor your “good moods” can last forever. This is a simple truth of life.

So as we are riding the turbulent waves of life; good and bad, sad and happy, passionate and bored – the passion in our relationship can also waver. The truth is to have a great relationship – you are going to have to step up to the plate and be great at a lot of different things. Click here to read more »

Hey guys.Ok so I have to be honest. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been away. The truth is I have been here the whole time, racking my brain as to what to write about. I have about 10 or 12 half written posts which I just can’t bear to finish. My mind is heavy, my writing is slow. And for the life of me, I just couldn’t figure out what was going on.

So I guess I just have to be honest with you guys, clear my chest and free my mind. About three months ago I just started seeing this really special guy. A guy who already has enriched my life is so many ways and taught me more about relationships in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years.
Click here to read more »