In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
Where is she? There are more than 3 billion women on this planet why can’t I just find ONE! I’m sure that has probably gone through your head at one point in time. And, I know how frustrating it can be. So, this post is for the frustrated man who just can’t see to find that special women. Let’s take a look at an email a gentleman named R sent me …
I wouldn’t say that I’ve mastered attraction, but I have exercised it enough that for the first time in my life women are finding me attractive and I at least know enough to keep improving. Attraction isn’t my issue, and as I read more I find the gurus constantly going over old ground but never addressing what I believe is the massive bottleneck in my dating life.
Where the expletive deleted are all the single women?
I’m not meeting them. The world that I live in seems to be entirely populated by couples and single men, and every effort I have ever made over the years to meet single women has just brought me into contact with single men out looking for women with the same idea as me. For example, I took up jive dancing recently (which I love) but the classes are full of IT guys and the women are outnumbered.
I live in Oxford in the UK, a university city, there must be tens of thousands of young women here. Maths tells me that there must be a number of single women out there to equal all these men but try as I might I just can’t find them. An abundance mentality self-deception can only be pushed so far before it seems a bit ridiculous in these circumstances!
Do you have any thoughts on this? If you were the woman for me how and where am I supposed to find you? Is it possible to build a lifestyle where attractive single women are automatically coming to me? If so how?
It was hard to think about what to write in response to this email – but only if I believe your story about not being able to find attractive single women.
And, I don’t.(And, I’ll show you how this can benefit you in the long run and help you find that woman or those women)
Problem: You really like this ONE girl, but for some reason you don’t know how to spark her interest. And, the harder you try, the more futile it appears to become. I get the same emails from a variety of different men all with the same fundamental problem, which I want to handle once and for all.
So, I ask you one question: Why this girl?
And, I’m sure that you will notice your mind start to spit out all sorts of different reasons. She is so funny, great, kind, attractive, different, etc. Some of you may find yourself drifting into some mental coma fantasy, dreaming about all the wonderful things you like and would like to do with this woman. Some of you may not even know what you like about this woman. In fact, all you may know is that you have the hots for her bad.
So, this leads me to the second problem I see. You like this girl and you have no freaking idea on how to get her interested in you. You don’t know how she feels. You don’t know how to spark her interest. You don’t know how to get her to breakup with her boyfriend and start dating you etc. Click here to read more »
This is a newsletter that I recently shared with my VIP members. Check at the end of the post to find out how you can become one.
So, I’m sure that in your endeavors to learn how to become more attractive to women, you read and heard about all the different techniques, tips, and tricks on how to make a woman like you and want to sleep with you.
And, it’s my guess that after you have read and listened to all these different techniques, you think to yourself, “Why do I always seem to be catching up?”, “Why is that I have to do so much chasing and attracting?”, or “Why can’t all the women come to me without me having to really do anything?”
Well, maybe that last fantasy could turn into a reality. In fact, I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen men out there who actually have women actually chasing them! Imagine this for a second: What if you could experience a woman actually getting nervous around YOU! What if they were the ones that were handing their phone numbers to you without you even ASKING! What if women were the ones trying every trick in the book to sleep with you? Click here to read more »
Ever just done something with a woman and then later when thinking about it – just wanting to cringe at what you did? Well, I get emails from you guys all the time with moment like these that you wished you could take back. Here are two readers who have dug themselves into a bit of a hole and here are my solutions on how they can get out!
Ok so ive had this crush on this girl for about nine months. She was with this guy and then they had problems, the broke up then tried to work things out but just within the last 2 weeks they decided to be done for good. Well i finally got the nerve to ask her into a relationship by saying, u know i really like you so when u feel like u can be in a relationship again could we give it a chance. She said let me get on my feet and heal a little bit. I said ok and didnt say anymore about it.
I’m fairly confident that she does need time to heal but Id like a second opinion. Also does this always mean what it says or is it a way of saying no.
A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again, Matt
Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.
It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »
Ever heard of the saying, “To be sitting on the fence?” Urban dictionary defines it as, “Existing in a state of uncertainty and ambivalency.” And, I could not agree more. So how does sitting on the fence apply when it comes to dating and relating to women?
That men often relate to women with the aim of getting her to experience a neutral or good impression with her. In fact some men are focused on ONLY giving her a good impression that they produce very neutral results. A woman will not remember let alone be attracted to a man in which she feels neutral about.
For instance, when interacting at the woman at the cash register. She asks you, “How are you today?” and you answer in a neutral tone, “I’m good thank you”. Wow. That was really boring for me to even write. You are not going to attract women with a bunch of “I’m good, thank yous”. If you think you are … I’m so sorry because you have come to the wrong place. Now WHY would you want to just have a neutral experience with a woman? Well, that is simple, too. Because it’s safe. Because it doesn’t require much effort. Because it doesn’t require you to “put yourself out there” and here’s the BIG ONE: because you think it will LIMIT your rejection.
“While your advice in attracting women is some of the best I’ve seen, the problem is that the problem doesn’t stop there. The real question is: How do you maintain that attraction and sex appeal when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances, and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults. What do men need to do to stay sexy to their committed women, while possibly working 10 hours a day and taking care of other daily responsibilities and duties. – D ”
#1 Knowing what’s really important …
Awesome question! Now, I’m going to highlight where I see the problem, “How do you maintain that attraction when you enter a serious relationship where maybe the goal is to get married, have kids, buy a house, consolidate finances and live the rest of the life like two responsible adults.” Since, when did the goal of any relationship lead to the marriage, the house, and the kids? Since, when does one need to “stop being in love” and get on with “being responsible”? Click here to read more »
Some of you may be reading the heading right now and be thinking, “What do you mean it’s not relevant? It’s all that really matters!” Yes, well don’t worry, I’m still on your side. I’m not saying that you are committing yourself to a lifetime of dull, boring, and completely unexciting sexual experiences.
In fact, what I will be showing you is how you can have amazing, passionate, exciting, mind blowing sexual experiences with a woman that you care about. When posed with the idea of how important is sexual compatibility is I had to laugh. I believe it’s a great misconception that sexual compatibility is actually relevant at all. Having a sexual experience with your partner is an extension to the solid foundation you have built with them. It’s taking those same communication skills you have in everyday life and applying them to the bedroom. They are not two separate spaces. They are both part of the same whole. Sex is not some added bonus or icing on the cake. It makes up the cake.
Where compatibility really matters …
The core things that are required to create the solid foundation of a relationship are shared values, open lines of communication, unconditional acceptance, honesty, courage, emotional maturity, and the need and desire for both people to put their relationship first. The magic happens in the combination of all these factors working together. The magic happens when there is compatibility here on all levels! Click here to read more »
I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.
I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.
Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.
Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.
If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.
That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things. Click here to read more »