In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »
Ever just done something with a woman and then later when thinking about it – just wanting to cringe at what you did? Well, I get emails from you guys all the time with moment like these that you wished you could take back. Here are two readers who have dug themselves into a bit of a hole and here are my solutions on how they can get out!
Ok so ive had this crush on this girl for about nine months. She was with this guy and then they had problems, the broke up then tried to work things out but just within the last 2 weeks they decided to be done for good. Well i finally got the nerve to ask her into a relationship by saying, u know i really like you so when u feel like u can be in a relationship again could we give it a chance. She said let me get on my feet and heal a little bit. I said ok and didnt say anymore about it.
I’m fairly confident that she does need time to heal but Id like a second opinion. Also does this always mean what it says or is it a way of saying no.
A reader asks …
I am getting kind of confused with how to deal with this “sh*t testing.” It seems like it would be hard to find that balance between being an understanding and “not taking the sh*t from the girl.”
At the understanding side, someone could take that too far and end up being a door mat. But, on “not taking the sh*t from the girl” side, someone could take that too far and come across as insensitive of what the girl is going through or why she is reacting in that way. Thanks again, Matt
Matt, I would say that you really need to assess the situation. I can’t give you a manual on all the situations a woman will engage in that will indicate that she is sh*t testing you. The action could be the same – yet the intention she has for it could be different. This is where you are really going to have to use your judgment.
It’s not a matter of, “Why is she really sh*t testing me” and more of a matter of, “How do I choose to respond to this?” If you always choose to respond with presence – you will win 100% of the time. Click here to read more »
Ever heard of the saying, “To be sitting on the fence?” Urban dictionary defines it as, “Existing in a state of uncertainty and ambivalency.” And, I could not agree more. So how does sitting on the fence apply when it comes to dating and relating to women?
That men often relate to women with the aim of getting her to experience a neutral or good impression with her. In fact some men are focused on ONLY giving her a good impression that they produce very neutral results. A woman will not remember let alone be attracted to a man in which she feels neutral about.
For instance, when interacting at the woman at the cash register. She asks you, “How are you today?” and you answer in a neutral tone, “I’m good thank you”. Wow. That was really boring for me to even write. You are not going to attract women with a bunch of “I’m good, thank yous”. If you think you are … I’m so sorry because you have come to the wrong place. Now WHY would you want to just have a neutral experience with a woman? Well, that is simple, too. Because it’s safe. Because it doesn’t require much effort. Because it doesn’t require you to “put yourself out there” and here’s the BIG ONE: because you think it will LIMIT your rejection.
Persistence, persistence, persistence. How important is this truly when it comes to attracting women? Does it really make all the difference? Is it the key factor that the average man misses completely? And, if so, how does it really work? Well, I can tell you right now that persistence is so incredibly important in the attraction process. The reason for this is because it establishes and builds trust with a woman. Trust isn’t everything to a woman, but it’s certainly one of the fundamental bases you will need to build with her.
So first I want you to understand a fundamental distinction that will allow you to gauge whether a woman is truly interested in you. There are two things you need to look out for. Her sincerity and her responsiveness to your leadership. Her sincerity is gauged by the correlation between what she says and how she acts. The more she follows through on her words and actions in response to you, the better. Responsiveness to your leadership is gauged by her ability to follow when you initiate something. Whether that be encouraging her openness, spending more time with you, or trying something new with you. A woman’s responsiveness to your leadership is a really great way to gauge her attraction for you: conscious or unconscious. Click here to read more »
There is an interesting phenomena my attention has been drawn to recently. It’s noticeable when a man has little problem attracting a desirable woman, yet witnesses a barrage of challenges in keeping her interested and happy. This can be devastating and (not to mention) baffling.
It doesn’t make sense, unless one becomes aware of the difference between triggering attraction and developing a relationship.
I’m drawn back to a memory of reading David Deangelo’s “Double Your Dating” which exposed me to a myriad of theories and skills to attract a woman. Yet, all he teaches about “keeping” a woman interested is boiled down to one line. That being, “once you get a woman, keep doing whatever you are doing.” And it’s not nearly as helpful or truthful as one might first think.
If this was the truth then pick up artists or men who learn about seducing and attracting women, would all have a great relationship with a woman they truly desired. Instead, they end up dodging from woman to woman, temporarily trying to satisfy an insatiable need. You could call it skimming the surface as these men are cautious and want to pull the plug before it gets too deep. Anything deeper will only open a whole can of worms, which for the moment do not want to be uncovered. Click here to read more »
When learning how to develop attraction with a woman, one of the first things that you are told is to learn to develop Alpha Male characteristics or become the ultimate alpha man.
And then usually the description you will here will be the antithesis of everything that a Beta Male represents. Therefore you hear that an Alpha Male is the exact opposite of a man that is wussy, approval seeking, predictable, needy, indecisive and uncertain about himself and the experiences around him.
So does that really mean that an Alpha Male is unpredictable, strongly dominant, a risk taker, outspoken and loves the centre of attention?
I think that there is a huge risk is assuming that an Alpha is just the pure opposite to a Beta male. Especially since there is only a small minority of people who could really be classified an ultra Alpha and ultra Beta. Majority of people are on a medium of this scale. The risk also comes from the fact that to truly create and maintain interest with a woman, one must display certain Alpha (dominance, leadership, assertiveness) and certain Beta characteristics (compassion, empathy, understanding, supportiveness). One must learn to appreciate both.
Yes we are in the age of TMI “Too much information”. I mean we have the likes of social media like twitter and facebook to share with the world what we ate for lunch, what brand of tuna we used and how eating tuna for lunch has had all these incredible benefits on your whole life like being able to go the toilet twice a day instead of once.
Plus lets not mention facebook, which is a total snapshot of your entire life on 5 pages and less. From your closest friends, to your most annoying pet peeves, to what you like and what you hate … and the likes and dislikes of all the friends you like and hate. I mean you can’t hide anything even if you tried. You can’t fake anything because who you really are, is available to the world, comeon guys even if your profile is set on private … 6 degrees of separation!
I’ve actually shut down my facebook profile for the moment, because I believe that less is so so so much more. Plus all these random pictures kept sprouting up of me and its just plain embarrassing not knowing where the heck they came from! Plus there is probably a whole lot of people on there who know me, who I should know, but I don’t. And this is all too confusing, since I have many other more important things to confuse myself with. Like what to have for lunch.
So let me give you a couple of examples. You get her number which she gives to you readily, yet she doesn’t return your calls nor pick them up when you call. Or she sets up a date with you and then, cancels last minute. Or she is always busy and can never make time to speak to you or spend more time with you.
Yes my friend, you have a woman who is blowing you off! If you are making all the moves on this chick and she is giving you absolutely nothing back, then I can tell you right now, that there is nothing you will accomplish by stalking her or calling her 5 times a day instead of once. I’m also here to tell you, she most likely is not interested in pursing anything further with you. Its a hint dude, so read the signs and move on. I know it sucks when they don’t like you the way that you do, but such is life. Not everyone that you like is going to like you back …. no matter what you do.
Don’t sweat it. You’ll live =)
Now there is a difference between a woman that is blowing you off and a woman that is being flakey. A woman blowing you off, will usually give you nothing back to work with. A woman that is being flakey means that sometimes she gives you what you want and other times she doesn’t. You can probably describe her actions as intermittent. Click here to read more »
I know it can be confusing sometimes as to whether or not a woman is interested in you. I want to stop the guessing game!
In this video I’m going to share with you, what are the most obvious signs that she is attracted to you. No hair flicking and eye fluttering that can sometimes be a little too subtle, that you miss it. These are things that are BLINDING Obvious she is attracted to you and what 99% of women engage in when attraction strikes them!
I will cover two core topics, how she shows her attraction through her ACTIONS and how she shows her attraction through her WORDS!
About 2 years I created a videoabout “how to really attract women” – It continues to be one of my most popular dating you tube videos.
Since that time, I have come to some new distinctions which can really help men attract women. I’ve realised that it is not based on all the techniques, but rather its about developing a particular mindset about yourself and women, which in turn will magnetize women to you.
Here are the top three tips I discuss in this video
1) Be proactive and keep pushing for the next step. Resistance is part of the process.
2) Be transparent, you have a unique personality so use it! Get comfortable with who you are, its all you’ve got.
3) Blow as many women out of the water. Get it out of your system. Take the pressure off. Give yourself the approval that you are seeking.