Bringing Out “The Feminine” In A Woman …
God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met. ~ Farrah Fawcett
Have you ever been in the presence of a woman who is in her true feminine energy? I say presence because it’s not only something that you can see by the way her face softens or lights up but it’s a warmth and vibrancy that she emanates and that you can actually feel. It’s truly a wonderful thing.
What a feminine woman looks like …
I have experienced for myself and seen it many times over: a woman in her feminine energy. A feminine woman is generally a happy woman – a woman that is very at ease. She has a warmth, vibrancy, and openness towards you. She is innately connected to herself. In a relationship, a feminine woman is attentive, caring, and supportive. She finds it easy to find things that she appreciates. She looks comfortable, secure, and at ease with you. It’s easy for her to laugh, it’s easy for her to be vulnerable, and it’s easy for her to connect with you.
Reasons why she loses it …
There are two main reasons why women do not truly tap into their femininity. The first is that there is still a social stigma that assumes that feminine energy is weak and that more masculine energies are needed to balance this weakness.
The second reason is that women find it difficult to be feminine when they are scared, insecure, or upset about something. And, when they experience these emotions they shut down their ability to tap into their true femininity.
In this case, there is not much you can do about the first reason. Social stigmas can take years and years to change. The main thing that you can do here is to simply recognize this and take it into account with your interactions with women on the dating scene or with that woman you are relationshipping with (I know relationshipping is not a word – but it should be).
The second reason is the one that I want you to focus on because that’s one that you have more control over. You have the ability to help a woman overcome the boundaries that are stopping her from tapping into her feminine nature.
Some of you have seen the shift from a woman being in her feminine nature and then changing when something stresses her out or upsets her. When a woman is under stress of any kind she may resort to more negative or more masculine energies. Negative behaviours include becoming more controlling, demanding or withdrawn and sullen. The way to get a woman to get back in touch with her feminine energy is for her to clear whatever it is that is preventing her from accessing it.
Reason 1: She feels like she cannot rely on you
When a woman is stressed and feels that she cannot trust or rely on her partner – then she can sometimes assume the role of that partner. So, she has a “let me handle it” attitude and while she does get things done – she secretly resents having to do these things and in the process supresses her ability to open, kind, and warm around her partner.
This is not necessarily something that can be helped by cooking her a nice dinner or changing a light bulb. Rather this is a fundamental issue which needs to be addressed at the heart of the issue. And, the issue being – why does she feel that she cannot trust you in that area of the relationship? You want to be able to identify what that issue is and slowly work on rebuilding trust in that area.
Reason 2: She is upset, insecure, or angry about something
When a woman is upset about something it can completely overwhelm her. She may react by becoming sad. She may react by getting angry or lashing out. Or she may just shut down and hold it in (until she needs to burst). So, when a woman is stressed, upset, or emotional about something then a venting session can really help her. Listening to what is actually bothering her can provide her with so much relief. Reassurance (not necessarily problem solving at this point in time) goes a really long way.
**Note: A lot of men actually get scared when a woman cries. They think that they broke her. Or that is she starts crying that she won’t ever stop. So here are two facts which will help:
- Crying will never break a woman (sometimes it actually helps).
- And, don’t worry – it will stop.
So, here is a woman writing in black and white that crying can be a very natural part of a woman’s experience. And, crying can actually provide a lot of relief for a woman. Think of it as the same thing as “getting a work out at the gym or going for a run” when you are angry or stressed about something. Most importantly, crying can be the doorway for a woman to release all that negative emotional energy she has been holding onto and lead her to becoming more relaxed, relieved, and feminine again. **End Note**
3 Tips on coaxing out her femininity
Nowadays, for a lot of women it’s actually something they consciously want to cultivate within themselves. In current social conditions it’s still celebrated that a woman should be independent, kick ass, and basically like super woman. The truth is that a lot of women are struggling with balancing so many of these roles at once – that they forget the power of being in their true feminine nature. In dating there is a general unspoken belief that in order to get the man of your dreams you have to crash tackle him to the ground until he does what they want him to. But doing that doesn’t make the man or the woman feel good.
In relationships, women resort to using emotional weapons like “the silent treatment” or “ultimatums” to get what they really want (whether that be more commitment, more attention, or more security). And, so there is much work to be done on both sides. There are things that women need to work on to ensure that they can access their femininity. As long as a woman is also making a conscious effort to access hers there are also things that you as a man can do to cultivate, coax, and make it easy for a woman to find and express hers when she is around you.
1. Realise that sometimes it “looks like” it gets worse before it gets better.
This refers back to allowing a woman to vent, express in whatever manner she needs to – to release that stress. Again, this may involve crying. Helping her express those pent up emotions may involve something simple like listening to the stresses of her day or giving her reassurance that she made the right decision about something. Alternatively, it may involve encouraging her to have a night out with her girlfriends. The one noticeable thing that I see with women who happy in their relationships is that they feel emotionally safe with their partners. Safe to express how they are really feeling and safe to feel like they will be heard.
2. Be in your masculine energy
I talk a lot about the balance between feminine and masculine energies in this post. Essentially, if you are engaging and cultivating your own masculine energy a woman is naturally going to be more feminine around you. So, make sure to do those things that make you feel good, on top of your game, and essentially make you feel like “you are the man!”
3. Lead, lead, lead
Women are used to leading a lot of areas in their lives. But there is still a subconscious trigger that allows them to truly relax and be in their feminine when you take the lead. It can from simple things like telling the waiter yourself when there is something wrong with the dish she ordered or standing up for her when someone threatens her personal or emotional space. Once you get into the framework of being a leader in the relationship you will find a myriad of ways in which you can do this.
These are just some ideas in which you can coax the feminine out in a woman. Some of ideas may seem to clash with some of the beliefs you had about women. And, because of that it’s something you haven’t tried before. That’s ok. Just keep an open mind – try a few of them out. And, report back to me on how you go. You may just be surprised.
Since I’m a real fan of quotes at the moment – I will leave you this one by Vincent D’Onofrio
“To me the definition of true masculinity – and femininity, too – is being able to lay in your own skin comfortably”
Let the conversation begin =)