What To Get Her For Her Birthday?
Alright, in celebration of my birthday (which has just passed – Yes, I’m 25 now!), I wanted you all to know some ideas about what to do if you are dating a girl and her birthday is coming up. I know for a guy there can be a lot of pressure when it comes to birthday celebrations. You want to give her something special – but you also don’t want to blow her out of the water and freak her out. Finding this balance will be really easy once you read these few tips below.
The first is timing. How long you have known a woman is the first indicator of what you should get her on her upcoming birthday.
Dating 2 weeks or less:
So, if you have been dating for maybe 2 weeks and you know her birthday is coming up in a few days, going all out on a birthday party for her is probably not a good idea because you are just in the early stages of getting to know her. Surprising her with dinner at her favorite restaurant, or maybe buying her a small gift (such as a gift card at her favorite store) might be better.
Between 2 weeks and 6 months:
Now, if you have been dating her for more than 2 weeks but less than 6 months, you should know who some of her friends are. Organizing a surprise party for her at her favorite restaurant might be a wise idea if she is more outgoing. If she is more understated, maybe inviting some of her closest friends over to your place for a meal might be better.
Dating her more than 6 months to a few years:
Now, if you have been dating her for more than 6 months but less than a few years and things are looking a bit serious, she might be wondering if you are going to marry her, especially if she is in her late twenties or early thirties. So, if you have been dating her for this long, it will be important for you to think about your long term intentions with her at this time. I’m not saying you should marry her or propose marriage on her birthday, but I am encouraging you to think about that as you organize something for her birthday. You see, if a woman has been dating a guy for years, she is going to be entertaining the idea of marriage. For example, if you have been dating a woman for 4 years and she is turning 29 and you get her an espresso maker for her birthday, she might be really pissed because she doesn’t know what your intentions are.
Now, if you are serious about her and believe she has the skills, plans, and goals that would be compatible with your life plans to create the kind of relationship and lifestyle you want, you might want to get her something to indicate to her that you are interested in a longer-term or life-long commitment. Jewelry is one idea. A modest ring with an interesting stone might be another. A set of diamond earrings could be another (go for something exotic to make a better impression, such as pink or blue diamonds). Another example would be if you are still living in separate places and ask her to move in with you. Any act that is significant and shows commitment will show her what your intentions are and how much you care about her. This doesn’t necessarily involve spending lots of money or marrying her on the spot – but it is a sign of commitment that you are moving forward and in that direction if that is what you want.
Little things make all the difference …
The second thing to pay attention to when getting a girl a birthday gift is noticing “The Little Things”. The funny thing about “the little things” is that when you ask a woman what these are – she can never really give you a direct answer. She will usually deflect or change the subject (because the truth is she can’t really come up with ideas of what the little things are, but she does know what she experiences when a guy goes that extra mile – or doesn’t.) Well, here I am to tell you a bit about it so you can be more prepared, knowledgeable, and competent. Here is the big secret to the little things: know what her preferences are. The little things are her preferences that make her unique. Her favorite shops. The way she likes her coffee prepared. Knowing how she likes to have her doormat straightened.
How do you get the little things from her? You have to be observant, proactive, and demonstrative. You see, if she has to explain it to you or tell you, then it doesn’t count. So, here are some ways in which you can get the little things. First, you observe. I’ll give you a personal example. I love drinking green tea, especially when it gets cold down here in winter. And, the thing about the way I like my tea is that I like it to be really steaming hot. Warm/cold tea really doesn’t do it for me. Because of this when I make a full cup of tea, most of the time I only drink half the cup because by the time I get half way it’s warm/cold and not hot. So, when my partner makes me tea, he only makes me half a cup because he understands my habit. He doesn’t make fun of me because I only drink half the cup. He doesn’t come up with a comment about how much water and tea I’m wasting by drinking half the cup. He observes it, doesn’t judge it, and thoughtfully surprises me with it now and then. So, now when I have tea in front of me and it’s half full, I think of him. The fact that he does that, even though it’s small, let’s me know that he is paying attention and that he cares. And when you are doing a number of these little things, they add up to one BIG reason to love, appreciate, and surrender to your partner even more. This is just one example of how “the little things” can make all the difference. The little things are more amplified when a birthday comes up but are also a key component in helping you have a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Now, the other way to do this is to just listen. So, women like to talk. Like that is a big surprise. Now, as they talk, they might say many things that are only slightly relevant. Sometimes, it is those things that can give you insight into what she might like. Let’s suppose she is talking about spending time with a friend that day. She might say something like: “Oh, yeh. Gina and I went to the mall. OMG! She was so excited to find that sale at Myer. I wasn’t too interested until I saw this pink umbrella that was just big enough to fit in my purse. Not that I go out much in the rain because I just hate it, but none the less my sister and I would play in it when we were kids. I’m so glad I outgrew that habit. I’ll only go out when it is raining when there is a good reason, like a special on hot chocolate at Starbucks. So anyways…”
Were you paying attention? How many preferences did you find? I’ll give you a few. Never plan an outing with her if it is raining. She might want a bigger purse. She might like pink. She loves hot chocolate from Starbucks. Do you notice any others?
How random comments can score you easy bonus points …
Now, here is some stuff on the “random comments” that women are always making. For those of you who get irritated with the apparently random comments that women make, here is the inside scoop for you. Sometimes those random comments can be gold! I know it is irritating to be talking with her and then for no reason she just says, “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about my sister’s cat and how it always tries to jump into her bird cage.” Well, guess what? Ask her about it. Maybe she likes cats. Maybe she likes birds. Maybe she worries about her sister. The point is by drawing her out, you might get some information from her to get to know some more little things. Occasionally, she will give you a random comment out of random excitement, like if you are listening to the radio and then she says, “OMG! This is my favorite song!” Well, that is easy.
Another way to get information about her preference is her friends. Asking her friends about her favorite restaurants, her favorite colors, her favorite shops, and so forth might be worthwhile. The disadvantage is that her friends might tell her that you were asking. She might think that is cute or endearing, though.
The key here is “attention to detail”. Each woman has her own quirks, preferences, and ways of doing things. Not all women like chocolate (believe it or not), not all women like to be massaged, and not all women want expensive gifts on their birthday. Therefore, if you tailor your gift (materialistic or not) towards her preferences, you will score many more points than a birthday gift/idea you are “suppose” to give a girlfriend/partner.
I would wish you good luck but now you don’t need it anymore!
Want to run some gift ideas by me? Write a comment below. Have a story of a personalized gift you’ve given to a partner and gotten a really cool reaction? Please share it here =)
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