Screening out women who can be REALLY big trouble!
“An emotionally immature woman has no sense of awareness of what she is doing. She is on autopilot. She is in constant reaction to her emotions to her needs and wants.”
~Hot Alpha Female
Alright, I really do need to talk to you about something. There seems to be a huge fixation getting the likes and attention of a particular woman or that hot chick. If you have read my other posts <here>, <here> and <here> you will know the warnings I have about many hot chicks. I’d say I was sorry about bursting your bubble, but I’m really not. I don’t want you guys to make the same mistakes most other guys make.
There are reasons why guys are attracted to women who look hot. Some of the reasons have to do with symmetry being a possible indicator of fewer genetic problems. Other reasons may have to do with youthful qualities about the face or body appearing to be associated with fertility. Whatever the reasons, I would strongly encourage you to think about your decisions with your BIG head, not your little head.
Most of you will come to conclusion of: “I like this chick and I want her now!” And, don’t give it much more thought than that.
There are women who are average looking who can be wonderful partners or dates. But, let’s get real. Even average looking women can cause problems. So, let’s talk about screening out women who might fuck up your life. Hot or not.
First, there are some basic things to consider. Is this woman a good match for you? Now, you may wonder why I am starting with this one. Well, I will tell you. In Napoleon Hill’s research, he concluded that the selection of a mate was very important for success. Having a woman who is compatible with you can be a HUGE help in your success and fulfillment in life. I have written in other posts about the importance of knowing what kind of woman you want and HOW to know if she is meeting your expectations AND the benefits of doing this in making you more attractive.
Second, if she feels rapport with you, she will likely begin to open up more and more to you. In doing so, pay attention to what she says AND ask her follow up questions. Notice how she talks about men. How does she describe her past relationships? How does she talk about her ex-boyfriends? How does she feel about her father? These can all be important indicators of how she might treat you.
I recently had a reader share some insights which could point to an emotionally immature woman. I could not have put it any better so here it is:
However, more subtle things might be a girl who has few or no female friends; one who works in a very low ranking position, talks continuously about all her plans to do more, but never takes the initiative; when questioned about past events, will constantly paint herself as the victim in any situation and always seems to like listing countless numbers
of people who have wronged her. The unfortunate thing is that most likely this girl will present herself as a victim to be saved, which can be a great temptation for a young man. It starts very simply with …”All this girl needs is some support and encouragement and then she’ll be whole and we’ll have a wonderful life together”. -J
J makes some excellent points. I think a lot of the time as men you have this natural tendency to want to save a woman from herself. You want to be the knight in shining amour to save the damsel in distress. Unfortunately, this only works in Disney or Pixar films. Not in real life. Sure woman want to feel protected and safe at times. But an emotionally mature woman will know how to protect herself and develop the mindset and emotional stability to do things on her own AND ask for help when needed.
Some other thing you could do to discern the type of woman you have is, find out what kind of lifestyle she has. Does she talk about exercising? Is she a vegetarian? Does she talk about drug or alcohol use? Does she gamble? You see, you are getting ideas about how self-disciplined she is. When a woman has self-discipline, she is more likely to have a conscience, act in a conscientious manner, and take responsibility for her actions. She is more likely to control her impulses, rather than just acting on whatever emotion she feels in the moment. This will be positive for you and her. For you, it will mean a more pleasant relationship experience. For her, she will be more likely able to build and maintain rapport with those around her instead of embarrassing herself and having to apologize for it later.
Third, some men learn about astrology, handwriting analysis, or palm reading. These kinds of activities can get a woman talking about herself. Now, I am not going to say whether or not I think astrology, handwriting analysis, and palm reading are accurate. What I think is most important is that a woman will likely feel interested in it, AND then start talking about herself. That’s a great way to ask her those questions I have talked about you preparing to ask her to make sure she is the type of woman you want.
Now, remember that after she answers your questions that you pay attention to how she acts. If she says she thinks it is important to be kind to others and then on another date with you she acts like a bitch to the waitress THEN CALL HER OUT ON IT! This is important because remember that women have a tendency to say things that are socially appropriate and then not back it up with action.
Now, let’s suppose she reveals to you that she has had a history of cocaine use and that she was arrested for armed robbery and prostitution but she was just doing all that to work her way through medical school. Ok, guys, we need to do a reality check here! If you start explaining it away such as, “Well, she was young” OR “It was probably just a temporary thing” OR “I made mistakes, too” OR “People can change” – stop it. Just listen to her. We cannot change the past. Everyone does make mistakes. There are some very successful people who have had problems and resolved them. The big question is “How will you know if she has truly changed?”
Perhaps only time will tell. Perhaps she will make a confession about slipping up, if you have really good rapport with her. Maybe you will get to know her family or friends – and they will tell you some information about her habits (assuming they have no ulterior motives). If you have doubts, remember that there are dozens of women out there who have lived relatively straight lives – and yet at the same time, that is NO guarantee that she might not go out there and do something to disrupt your life.
One final note is to get to know her friends and family. Although there is no guarantee, if she has come from a family background that is relatively uneventful (in a negative way), she might be more balanced and level-headed. Again, there is still no guarantee.
Ok, so basically, it doesn’t matter how hot this chick is. If she causes you major problems OR has an unchanged history of causing other people problems, it can ruin your life. This is true! I have known guys who have had their bank accounts drained, their self-esteem destroyed, and their lives set back years! The whole purpose of this post is to encourage you guys to focus on her as a PERSON! Because if she has certain qualities, she can help raise your life to heights you never imagined.
The best thing you can do for yourself to find a good quality woman is to become the kind of man that would ATTRACT her into your life. If you are ready for it, then I suggest you <click here right now>
I’ve had my say, now it’s YOUR turn!
Hot Alpha Female
Nice article, these kinds of post can be very useful to me and others, thanks for the useful post and keep up the work.
Excellent post Jen! Before a guy can have a relationship with the right girl he needs to choose the right girl, otherwise all the relationship advice in the world won’t amount to anything.
@John: This is very true. Sometimes the bad women can give him the experience to appreciate a good one, too. LOL
HAF
“The best thing you can do for yourself to find a good quality woman is to become the kind of man that would ATTRACT them into your life.”
That quote says it all; its all about the inner game.
Another superb post. Kudos!
Hi, HAF! I enjoy and follow all your videos and as you can see, I’m reading your Blogs:) I study sociology and find things like this to be a great resource to keep in touch with what’s happening. I just HAVE to comment on this subject (besides telling you that you’re doing a good job) because there is a serious misconception about hot girls. Anyone who isn’t truly one of these stunning head-turners just doesn’t understand what life is like for them and they make all these assumptions that are way off base. I used to be a 9/10 and all I can say now is that I’m glad to be old. Btw, I never thought of myself as a 9/10 when I was young because I was raised in a family that didn’t value looks at all and emphasized inner beauty. I was naive and unaware (to a dangerous degree, frankly) and humble. Other people’s reactions informed me of my beauty, not my own assumptions or wishes. On to my point: J made the point to watch out for a woman if she has few or no female friends. While that may be a good indicator, the thing to be aware of is that truly hot women (not pretty women who look good when all dolled up, but women who have been given the DNA that makes them stunning) are often excluded from the “sisterhood”. Other women don’t want to hang out with them because standing next to them automatically makes them feel ugly or at least not as beautiful as they’d like to be. So when a gang of girls go shopping or to the club or wherever they don’t invite the gorgeous girl along. They certainly don’t want to include her if they’re throwing a party. Why invite someone to your party who is going to take all the male attention from you simply by walking into the room? The famed “emotional support” that women give each other? That doesn’t apply to the beautiful women. Other women will listen to her problems only for the chance to get some gossip they can spread about her to try to make themselves feel superior. If you see a women who has a lot of close female friends, you are almost guaranteed she’s average in looks, a “7″ at the most. And if she happens to have an ugly nose or hips too wide to fit through a door, her female friends will be legion. So if a woman has few female friends and she is a natural stunner, don’t judge her for it. And if a woman is average and has a ton of female friends, it’s not necessarily a sign that she’s a nice person. For instance, I know a girl who has “oh so many” female friends and she’s actually a snipey, manipulative, egotistic, cheater. She just happens to be plain (so isn’t a threat to other women) and good at manipulating. I hope this insight is useful and keep up the good work!
LAura’s RIGHT, This Writer is trying to get the average looking gals get laid!! I say go for it because clearly hot ppl get casted out way more than non hot ppl. I think if you are hot the only way you will feel normal about yourself is when you are out with other hotter ppl. So Gisele set the bar right, if you are Gisele B go out with someone like Leonardo Dicaprio. In that case the guy wouldn’t be catty to you, wouldn’t be using you and certainly wouldn’t be critisizing you because he is jealous. I did date a few very below avg guys and made friends with SO not hot gals based upon the fact that they have good hearts, soon i found out how they would bash me on my face about my size, looks, made fun of me if i ever had a breakup. Even told me on my face, “You have the looks to kill for but I’m glad he went for an average girl. You have a lot of options what do you have to worry about?” Seriously!!!! In another incident, i went out with a So not Hot or even good looking guy for a month. I I never told him that i work for an I BANK as an AVP graduated from an ivy league school. We only met every saturday for about a month. He insisted every time to kiss me, when i told him that i want him to get to know me, i have values and he should respect it until we both have feelings for eachother, or think that we really want to give it a shot. He told me that “good looking people are not smart”. My response was, ” I wouldn’t say that, so you mean to say all fat and ugly people are smart? Aren’t you stereotyping.”
Over time i have started to think like this blog’s author and ugly fat people. Goodlooking hang out with good looking = happiness. Ugly/ fat hangout with eachother= tons of gossiping and male, female bashing. Goodluck with that. How long can Hot people take this nonsense, about time someone sets the record straight!!
Also, Men feel free to whore around and cheat on your ugly/fat/hot wives because according to the author ITS OK! When it comes down to women, he/ she has a lot of nerves to say don’t go for sluts/hot girls/ and fat girls/ and God knows who else. Why is it that we are so focused on women’s character but never care about how many male whores and players are around?
Good people deserve good people. Bad men deserve Bad women!!!! God sets the record straight. A lot of these guys are man whores, but when it comes down to marriage they will look for someone who has a clean slate. I don’t think it’s fair to girls who have a clean slate whether they are hot/ or so not hot. STOP JUDGING PEOPLE BASED UPON LOOKS, TRY TO GET CLOSE TO THE GOD”S BOOK!!
Right on Hotalpha female. What your saying is vital and guys if you dont want to loose your house and be subjected to a emotional rolercoaster from a ” Crazy Maker ” study the person not the looks.You could be dealing with a ” Borderline ” or ” Narcassistic ” type Personallity disorders and your role in the relationship is a ” Narcissistic Extention ” providing Narcissistic supply and all your worldly Goods as well. She may present herself as loving,genuine,perfect etc but she aint, What you are seeing is a projection of the “False Self “.The relationship is fake from the beginning no matter how long it has been going for .You dont need this trouble ! There is much more i could go on about emotiontal immature Women and Men but i dont waste my time on them….
BEWARE !