Make Yourself SCARCE!
“Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life.”
Let me set the scenario. You meet a girl and you are in the process of getting to know her. Maybe you have had a couple of conversations. Maybe you have been on a couple of dates already. Maybe she is your friend that you would really prefer to get out of the friend zone with. And, the kicker is: You don’t know how to take attraction with her to the next level. You don’t know from how you can go from being the friend or the guy is going on dates with to girlfriend. You don’t even know on how to get going in that direction.
So, here is a tip that I want all of you to remember. Sometimes the reason it’s so hard for you to see how to move the relationship forward is because you are so scared of screwing it up. You want to do the right thing. You want to do the thing that is going to work. You want to push her off the fence, without having to do any work.
I can understand that. Of course you want to do what works. Of course you don’t want to rock the boat. But it’s that very psychology which will trap you in dating (limbo) and the friend zone time and time again.
Guys that get the girl are fence pushers. They escalate. They move forward. They face the risk of things not always going their way. They do what they want and NOT what they think she wants.
So, now I’m going to share with you a way that you get off that fence. Where you can put the control back in your hands and end the insanity. It’s simple, it’s proven, and it works.
Make yourself SCARCE!
You heard me. Understanding women 101: a woman will not become more attracted to you, simply because you are spending more time with her. Quality time and interactions trump quantity every single time.
If a woman feels like she can just call you out of the blue and spend time with you whenever she wants: how much does that communicate to her about how much you value your time? What happens when you continue to perpetuate this pattern? When someone is important to you, you make an effort to have them in your lives – but not at the expense of your own respect. Respect your time first. And, then allow that to set the precedence for the way she respects you. As the saying goes, “you teach people how to treat you” and that is exactly what you are doing. Retraining the way this woman interacts with you.
I’m also saying to be “selective” with your time, instead of just handing it out on a platter. Your time is something that you will NEVER get back and you need to use it in the best possible way you can think of.
So what is one way you can be scarce? One recommendation I make to guys is to disappear. Like block out some guy down time with yourself, your mates, or whatever to keep yourself busy and recharged. That is a form of scarcity. But it has to be a real sense of scarcity. Meaning you don’t tell a woman that you are busy for the rest of the week when you are really are going to be a home twiddling your thumbs obsessing about the next time that you are going to see her.
Another way to communicate scarcity is to be seen with another woman. This works because firstly your time is now split between this the chick you are out with and the other woman you really want to date. Secondly, she realises that you are hotter dating material than she anticipated. Thirdly, she is wondering, Ok so what does this chick see in him that maybe I’m not seeing. Fourthly, she could see another chick and think: Alright the competition is on. She could take on one or all those reactions. And, it’s a lovely thing to have women clamming for your attention instead of the other way around.
Alright, still another way to be scarce is to be busy. “Sorry. I can’t meet with you on Wednesday or Thursday. Got other plan.”
Now you know that being scarce is a way of boosting your attractiveness if you do it right AND especially if you already know the personality qualities and SKILLS you can develop to become more attractive. But, there is still another way of being attractive that most people don’t discuss OR don’t discuss it as a way to become more DESIRABLE or attractive.
Here’s what it is: have standards AND enforce them!
This is challenging to a woman AND makes you scarce. It makes you desirable and more attractive because it is rare. Many men don’t really have standards or enforce their standards. How do I know? Because I get many emails from guys wanting to know how to “get this one girl” or they want to “get a hot chick.” There in many emails, there doesn’t seem to be much more to many guys’ desires besides getting a chick because she is hot. And, in the case of wanting this “one girl” they have to have – many are not able to clear state what is it about this girl they like OR who she is OR HOW they know this girl is who they think she is.
So, having standards and enforcing them makes you rare, desirable, and more attractive. So, how do you have standards and enforcement? First, what do you want in a woman? Write it down. YES, do it now!
Now that you have written it down, write down HOW you will know if she has those qualities. The more specific and concrete you are, the better. Then come the enforcement. You have to know what they are and hold true to it – then you will likely feel your sense of strength, presence, and control over you life go up.
So, let’s suppose you are wanting a woman who has a sense of humor. You define a sense of humor as her liking the same comedians and funny movies as you. So, if you are on a date with a woman and she says she like the same funny movies as you, then you know she might match your criterion. BUT, if she says doesn’t like the same comedians or funny movies as you, then you know that she may NOT match your criterion of a humor. Now you may have more on your list than sense of humor – at least I hope so, but now you know that if you have an idea of what you want and how that can make you more attractive. It makes you rare. It makes it likely you might walk away. It makes you challenge. It makes you scarce. And, it can make you more attractive.
I have had my say. Now, you have yours.
Hot Alpha Female