How To Impress A Girl – By Not Impressing Her At ALL!
Ever heard of the saying, “To be sitting on the fence?” Urban dictionary defines it as, “Existing in a state of uncertainty and ambivalency.” And, I could not agree more. So how does sitting on the fence apply when it comes to dating and relating to women?
That men often relate to women with the aim of getting her to experience a neutral or good impression with her. In fact some men are focused on ONLY giving her a good impression that they produce very neutral results. A woman will not remember let alone be attracted to a man in which she feels neutral about.
For instance, when interacting at the woman at the cash register. She asks you, “How are you today?” and you answer in a neutral tone, “I’m good thank you”. Wow. That was really boring for me to even write. You are not going to attract women with a bunch of “I’m good, thank yous”. If you think you are … I’m so sorry because you have come to the wrong place. Now WHY would you want to just have a neutral experience with a woman? Well, that is simple, too. Because it’s safe. Because it doesn’t require much effort. Because it doesn’t require you to “put yourself out there” and here’s the BIG ONE: because you think it will LIMIT your rejection.
So, let me paint the picture for you. Either way you are going to have to face the fear of rejection. It’s a matter of whether you are going to let it win this time. And, it’s about choice. Whether you are going to face the “possibility” of rejection in the here and now (potentially in the short term pain) or face a LIFETIME of fear and regret. It’s up to YOU to decide which one is worse. And, I think that if you are able to understand that there is NOTHING worse than the fear of regret – then fear of rejection becomes comparatively small to that.
So, if you want to create attraction with a woman, you cannot be neutral! If you want to maintain attraction with a woman you cannot be neutral!
When interacting with a woman you want to push her off the fence. So, within a split second she can say “yes, I like him”, or “no I can’t stand him!” It’s about redefining your objective. Your objective is to find the 5 women who will advocate “Yes, I like him!” instead of 100 women who haven’t made up their mind about you. It’s about quality opposed to quantity. The same applies one you have found ONE woman and want to maintain that attraction with her in the relationship.
For example, when you don’t want to: rock the boat, upset your woman, say No to her you are in fact being neutral. When you comprise your own integrity of speaking up and standing by what you truly value – because you think it will make her happy, you are in fact digging a deeper grave. A woman will always attempt to provoke a response to you. Women are elicitors. They want you to respond. And, 99.9% of the time they want this response to be decisive, assertive, and strong. Therefore when a woman provokes it is used to stimulate your desire to: take charge, take action, to go after what you want. When she provokes you and you take action …. that is when she gets to experience your masculinity and your strength. And, in return that is when you will be able to experience her femininity, acceptance, and receptivity.
You want to know how you can keep a woman? Be courageous. If you don’t know what to do …. then you take the action which scares the sh*t out of you most.
The one that requires the most courage. Not only will it bring a woman back to you and re-ignite that attraction for you 99.9% of the time – it will help re-ignite that juice YOU have for life. The happens because you get to expand your comfort zone, step up to the plate, put yourself in the game and there is NOTHING more exhilarating than that!
There are two core things that a woman will always want to experience with a man. That is his masculinity and his compassion.
And, it’s the combination of these two character strengths that is the winning combination. One is not overruled by the other. Each require equal elements to create that attraction and to sustain it. I will say that your masculinity will create the attraction and your compassion will keep her interested and continue to grow that relationship. But both of these are needed in the initial stages as well as in a relationship. Too much masculinity and she will start to feel even more insecure about you – because she will wonder if you are human – especially since she wants to experience some form of emotional connection and depth with you.
Too much compassion and she will start to provoke fights, or say things to get you to respond in a masculine way. The masculine energy makes her feel protected and like a woman. The compassion helps her feel understood and like a woman. They both make her feel like a woman – yet they both fulfill different needs.
Now, for you single guys out there who would like to spark attraction in a woman you are getting to know – the most important thing you need to remember is to consistently be making moves to take the relationship forward.
You must constantly be pushing her boundaries, asking questions, and creating scenarios which require the response, “Yes, I like you” or “No, I don’t like you”.
In order to do this you must NOT second guess yourself! You must not hesitate. You must be willing to PUSH HER OFF THAT FENCE! Now we all know that making these moves is linked to the fear of rejection and this all points back to the primal fear all human beings share of “not being good enough”. I completely understand. So, let me put this into perspective. For guys especially getting back into the dating scene the fear of rejection can be quite strong. So, here is what I need to remind you of. You don’t have to attract every woman. You just have to attract the women that YOU are interested in and who will be interested in you.
The relationship between attracting women and selling yourself.
Think is yourself as a product. You have particular features, particular looks, and particular interests and so on. You don’t have to appeal to the entire market, you are only appealing to the people who want to buy the kind of product you have. You my friend are in the business of niche marketing. And, how you get to attract the right kind of customers is done by really setting in stone what kind of woman that you want. After you define this then I want you to define what kind of woman you don’t want and what kind of woman you simply CANNOT stand!
Now, the most important part is this: Ask yourself the question, “What kind of man would I need to be for this kind of woman to be interested in?”
See how that puts the focus and attention back onto you? I can guarantee you that if you FOCUS on developing into the well rounded man that the kind of woman you want would be attracted to: you will attract her effortlessly and naturally!
You know what it’s like? It’s like making a much more specific request in a Google search bar. If you are typing in phrases that are very general and broad you are going to get a large variety of responses which may only be partially related to what you are looking for. Alternatively if you type in something much more specific you are more likely to find exactly what you are looking for! For instance, what a lot of men do (who think they need to appeal to the whole market) is type in “great guy”. That produced like 7, 000,000 search results (you can check it out for yourself). Now, using the principles which I talked about previously let’s narrow down on this search and type in “intelligent, funny, down to earth guy”. So that produced 2, 160, 000 search results. Now let’s put that whole second phrase in “inverted commas”. Search results 715. This is perfect! See how you narrow down the market, but now these 715 results are much more targeted, much more specific and more “willing to buy” *nudge nudge wink wink* Are you guys catching on?
When you define who you are, what your target market is (your ideal woman), and you advertise/promote your product – some women will say NO, some women will say YES – All of them will be able to respond IMMEDIATELY because your uniqueness PUSHES THEM OFF THE FENCE!
So, NO you are not doing this for HER. You are doing this for you! You are putting yourself in the game. You are giving yourself the best opportunity to win. You are developing your unique selling proposition and when you find what that is you are going to promote it. Whatever you are about is going to be stamped on your face. So when people see you …. they will be able to IMMEDIATELY say “yes, I like it”, “No, it’s not for me”. Don’t take the No’s personally, they just weren’t in your niche. And, the yes’s — those you can take extremely personally.
It’s my belief when you know who you are as a man and what you are about – it will be VERY EASY to attract a woman that is what you are looking for.
When you know what you are about you don’t change because you want to impress. When you know what you are about you don’t take it personally when someone doesn’t buy what you are presenting. You want to talk to the people in your market. You want to engage and interact with the people that are on your wavelength. You want to send out a signal to all the people that respect and like what you are about and you want to repel all the people that don’t. It’s not about getting everyone to like you — it’s about finding people who will like you and who you equally like – because you share something similar about each other – whether that be a worldview, an attitude, a sitcom, a type of beer.
All of this is only possible – when you interact with a person and immediately push them off the fence. Show them what you got and let them decide if it’s for them or if it’s not! Because then and only then will you find out the people who really truly will stand by you.
It applies not only to women, but to all the people in your life. Not everyone is going to like you. It’s simple law of averages. So why not focus on developing phenomenally strong and great relationships with the people that do like you … and let the other ones have fun on their side of the fence.
So from now on … I dare you … Be a fence pusher!!!
Hot Alpha Female