The Masculine Man and The Feminine Woman
I’m sure at one point or another you have heard of this idea of the masculine and feminine energies. It doesn’t necessarily involve just a man “being a man” and a woman “being a woman”. It is more than that, especially since both men and woman have a masculine and feminine part to them. In this post, I want to build your awareness of what these energies are, in relation to yourself and in relation to a woman.
I think if both men and women understood this there would be a much greater appreciation to what the sexes can bring something to each other; all whilst avoiding the confusing and frustration that occurs when this area is misunderstood.
Understanding and truly developing these energies is something that will continue to grow throughout a lifetime. It will truly help develop more fulfilling and longer term relationships. This goes beyond the first date, the first month and even the first year of seeing someone.
Despite this, in the short term it can be equally useful. It will lead you to the way to WHAT women truly want to experience while they are with you. And, if you can learn to trigger this within meeting a woman in the first few seconds, you have something incredibly powerful in your hands.
If you know: what drives you, what your strengths are, and what drives a woman, then you will be more aware than 90% of the population.
That means you are more likely to stand out of the crowd. That means you will carry a different energy about you. That means you will relate with yourself and to women differently. That means you are going to catch her attention a lot quicker than the average guy. These are all good things.
A Word About Women Today …
The truth is that many women do not know how to embrace their femininity. Particularly in contemporary culture women are conditioned and pressured to do, be and have it all.
They have to have the successful career, raise a family, keep harmony in all their relationships and they are suppose to do this with an energized smile on their face. If they fail at any one of these they have failed as a woman.
It is extremely hard for a woman to win in this environment, so it’s no wonder that woman are on constant overload. And, it’s no wonder that woman have overcompensated by relying on masculine traits and qualities. They have to be the decision maker, they have to goal orientated, they have to suppress their emotions, and they have to have it all together because want to live up to the image of being able to do it all: effortlessly. And, in a culture where men are afraid to project and cultivate their masculinity … women out of survival are driven to adopt more masculine traits. Because if they can’t rely on a man to get things done, then THEY are going to have to do it all.
The truth is that woman are exhausted. They are tired. And, they are scared.
If you were to pose the question, “Are women more independent today than they were decades before?”, I would say “No!” Because now days they are so desperately trying to compensate for something that they can only truly get from a man. I would say women today are more at a disadvantage because they simply CAN’T admit their desire and need for a man. They have repressed their own desires as a feminine woman. What they really need is a man that is strong. A man that can ride them through all that stress and really ground them when they feel like their world is spinning completely out of control. But it takes a man who completely is able to embrace his masculine and his dark sides. It takes a man who can truly claim his woman. It takes a man who has equal levels of balance of masculine and feminine within him.
The problem these days is that women (particularly American woman so I hear) are given too much control. Their ego’s are inflated and because they say to themselves that they don’t need a man … most men shy away because they think … well what does she need me for anyway? How can I possibly give her any more than what she already has? Men, I want you to know that even though she can’t say it – she so desperately needs you.
She so desperately needs that man that can: see past the bullsh*t, impose healthy boundaries, and be that strength for her – so that she can just relax a little.
And, the more that a woman can relax, then the more open she will become. The more open she becomes the more playful, girly and feminine she becomes. The more she becomes that the more you will feel her needing and appreciating you. Feeling: needed, appreciated, and acknowledged is paramount to a man. It’s what you live for. It’s important you to know WHERE and HOW you can win. And, I’m telling you right now this is how you can do it. By being so strong and unwavering – that it completely opens a woman. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is open and receptive. Nothing. It can truly light up your world, add colour to your life, and give you an even greater sense of purpose and passion.
What Is The Feminine About?
A woman who is truly in her feminine is: soft, receptive, open, giving, radiating, context driven, relationship based, light, nurturing, understanding, empathetic, and compassionate. Her driving force is based on the value she imposes on others. The reason why women may seem overly emotional about certain things is because they are constantly absorbing the energies of others. They are always concerned about what the other person is thinking.
It is paramount for a woman to have and cultivate happy and healthy relationships around her. This is how she feels a sense of purpose in her world. This is how she feels important, special and validated in her world. This is what she needs to experience to be in her most feminine.
Additionally, this is also the reason why woman can go into overdrive, overwhelm, over nurturing, feeling lost in her emotions, and having no understanding of what healthy boundaries are. A woman will continue to give and give and give until she has nothing left. Until she has reached exhaustion. So much so that when she is exhausted she may have to reveal in that masculine energy or engage in more masculine character traits. This is why a woman who is exhausted or hurt can become quite hardened, angry and short tempered. When a woman is exhausted she will resort to more masculine traits.
What Is The Masculine About?
This leads me to my next point, what is the masculine energy about? The masculine is as magnificent as the feminine. This is about conquering. This is about action. This is about getting things done. This is about achieving goals. This is about focus and direction. This is about finding the solution. This is about protection. This is about going after what you want. This is about laser beam focus. The best thing about the masculine is that it doesn’t get distracted. When it wants something, it doesn’t stop until it gets it. Where as feminine energy is based on the value of others masculine energy is based on the concerns of the self. Masculine energy is laced with confidence, self belief and courage. It’s about being practical, direct, and rational.
Masculine energy has no problems of imposing boundaries, breaking rapport for self preservation or showing up and conquering.
What are some of the downfalls? Well masculine energy can become very ego driven and power hungry. Always wanting to go for the win, always wanting more and not caring about who gets injured along the way. Laser beam focus on solving problems leave no room for flexibility or distraction until it is solved. There is very little give. It’s do it my way or the highway!
Masculine and Feminine Working Together
Both energies directly respond to eachother. For example a man with a natural masculine energy and a woman with a natural feminine energy would relate in such a way that was complimentary. In many ways the woman would look to the man for his strength, presence and ability to solve problems and place boundaries. The man would look to the woman to experience her softness, her ability to absorb, and appreciate his contribution to her. They lean on and support each other. They balance out those energies.
You can bet that a man coming home after he has had a busy, tiring day wants to revel in a woman who is soft, open and receptive. Equally a woman who has had a stressful day wants to come home to absorb and recharge off the strength of her partner.
In this way they can really fill eachother up. They can learn the appreciate the differences of their energies. So instead of making the woman wrong for being so sensitive to the feelings of others; a man can appreciate her softness and compassion for others because he knows how wonderful it feels when she extends that to him. Equally she can truly appreciate his: strength, ability to problem solve, and ability to take his emotions out of the equation. She needs a man in her life so she has some boundaries in place, so she at times can disregard what other people think, disregard the rapport of her relationships around her just for a moment. It’s a place where she can rest and rejuvenate.
Having two people in a relationship who are both extremely masculine or feminine can be incredibly damaging. This happens when either one or both the partners are unable to express their true nature; or an incompatibility of base natures.
Having two of the same energies in many ways cancels eachother out. There is no polarity. This means no excitement, no variety, no passion and juice to be with eachother.
It may seem that there is nothing wrong and equally there is feeling that there is nothing right about it either. Because none of you have something to offer the other partner. There is a deadness and a dullness which is subtle yet so entirely emotionally draining.
Individually and Relationally Finding The Masculine and Feminine Balance
Keep in mind that each individual needs a balance of the masculine and feminine energies. In addition to this all individuals have a core essence which they lean towards more. Some women find it more natural to be more masculine. And, other women find it more natural to be completely feminine. Neither is better than the other. They are just different core natures.
With women who have a more masculine energy about them, a strong man who is more connected to the feminine is needed. A man that is strong but equally empathetic, understanding, and validating – that will truly compliment her. If a masculine man finds a man that is equally as masculine as her (at a core level) there will be conflict. Battling. Someone always trying to win. With no real support or desire to support eachother.
Couples don’t need to be the same. They don’t need to be the opposite. They need to compliment, balance eachother on levels which are truest to their nature in every aspect.
Also keep in mind that different people can draw out different energies in you. A friend, partner or family member may draw out more of the masculine or feminine aspects in you. For instance a woman that is more naturally feminine may be the more masculine partner in a relationship, if her masculine is stronger than his. Therefore, if she believes she can’t trust her partner to be the man and to make the right decisions, then she will do the decision making and the leading. She will be the masculine energy in that relationship even though her base nature is strongly feminine. The catch is that despite all her leading and decision making she will feel empty and unfulfilled at the end of the day because she isn’t able to express and explore her true essence.
What she truly needs a man with a strong masculine base. A man that is naturally leads, asserts, and is stronger. When she is with a man like this she can relax that masculine energy in her and she can fully explore her femininity. Where she was hard, crass, and determined in her other relationship; she can now be open, fun, receptive, and loving. This happens because she is a with a man that compliments her base nature. This is how a woman can seem so different based on the man that she is dating. You guys have a tremendous impact on how a woman feels and acts. Always remember that.
4 Steps For Happier Relationships
I truly believe that these 4 steps I identify below will help you really cultivate a great relationship with a woman. Missing any of these steps means that challenges will arise.
1. Identify what your core nature is.
Masculine or feminine? Neither is better than the other. Each have their own strengths and weaknesses. It’s best that you are just honest with yourself.
2. Make sure you have things in place which really cultivate this.
Core masculine: Make sure to engage in sports and career choices which really help you thrive. Set up your environment so that it’s easy for you to win. Continually track your progress and remember your successes. Make sure to set goals, accomplish them and celebrate them.
Core Feminine: Make sure to express your wants, needs and desires. Surround yourself with people who allow you to express whatever you need to express. Pursue things that are really close to your heart. Communication is paramount.
3. Find someone who is compatible with your energy.
If you are masculine find someone with a strong feminine base. And vice versa. Identify what you current partner’s true essence is. Communicate with them. Take an assessment of the relationship and see where you want to take it and if you are truly compatible.
4. Continually re-enforce your core nature.
This will complete the cycle so that you will learn to cultivate, appreciate and develop your core nature.
Note: In the mean time, make sure that individually you have a balance of both expressions. If you are just plain engaged in masculine energy all the time, you will find it very hard to be empathetic, understanding, and validating. This will mean that the people around you will find you to be very isolating. As a complete individual you will have to look into this, too. This is a part of your own personal development and you bring this balance of yourself along with the understanding of where your true essence is to the relationship. Thereby you are creating more value. You are bringing something to the table.
You are also ensuring that you are making a smart selection for your mate. This is part of you being fully responsible in your life.
If you have chosen a partner that is very demanding and frustrating …. find out what part of you wanted that. Fix that. And change the way you relate to your partner, or change your partner.
I’ve had my say, now it’s your turn!
Hot Alpha Female