What Really Holds Men Back From Attracting Women
There are two main things I see truly holding men back when it comes to attracting and interacting with women.
The first is attitude. Attitudes they have about themselves and attitudes they hold about women. When any of these are negative, sabotage and frustration are not far around the corner.
When you can learn to investigate what these thoughts are, be open to what you find, and are willing to change these to new and empowering beliefs, your world can literally change.
And the great thing is that all of this under your complete control!
The second thing I see holding men back is a deeper understanding of the psychology of women. When this has never been taught to a man, it can literally be like walking in around in a dark room, trying to orient yourself.
However it is also no use to simply understand women at a deeper level if there are negative attitudes to women in mind. Because in the end these ideas will either be rejected or abused and non of this will help contribute to longer lasting and fulfilling relationships with women.
It is my assumption that this is what men are truly striving for.
Enjoy!
Hot Alpha Female
Bingo, I wonder if these 2 ideas you mentioned re-affirm one of the great traits of a naturally attractive (conscious) man… RESPONSIBILITY?
@Romyl: Yes, many would be so surprised at how important this is and how it truly makes all the difference!
Hot Alpha Female
WE men are finding out the truth, men and women have forgotten there place in nature.
@Trueman
Yeah bingo, now I wonder, if it has to do with lack of celebration of Real Men (Purposeful, Passionate, Present) in society and in media or that majority of males are brought up by mothers not Fathers and or Women/Males not being shown their roles by respected elders, and I am curious if this is further compounded by (a 19th Century Meme) the fact that males are taught to compete and not to trust each other in comradeship (to learn from each other to swiftly mature) interesting eh?
Rock n Roll, Golf range is ok, I sticking to Archery
@ Trueman and Romyl: Yes I agree. Both men and woman have forgotten how to celebrate each of their natures. Each is overcompensating. Awareness needs to be raised before change can take place!
Hot Alpha Female
Hey Hot Alpha Female,
Its brilliant to hear from you – you look amazing (its just that I really admire women with class and style). Definitely a cool post and right on the mark too.
You see daily the low mindsets/beliefs/habits that stifle and hold back men nowadays. I ooze confidence and am absolutely buzzing with exuberance and confidence (in a value adding way) that when I’m out looking to meet and attract beautiful women that I ‘smirk’ when they throw out their bitch shields/nothing they can say can really hurt (its always fun and I choose whether I interact further or not) + its a learning experience.
I have fun exploring humanity and talking with girls. Question: this female colleague always tells me ‘not’ to touch women until at least an hour after meeting them because it ‘creeps’ them out. Honestly, kino escalation (hi-5′s, shaking hands, thumb wrestling, palm reading routine, back of the hand touch to emphasize a point and sexual escalation is a must – right??!! (all done in a non needy, playful way). Please advise because I need to get this area of my life handled and I’m not surrounded by HBs all the time.
All the best
Regards
@Fat-Albert: Word of warning … don’t always listen to what “other women” tell you. Majority of woman are not aware of the real process of attraction. Touching a woman within the first few seconds of meeting her can actually help build the rapport and attraction with her! I would say go with your gut on this one. Don’t second guess yourself. If you want to touch a woman, then touch her!!
With this other woman colleague I would suggest the next time she tells you to do or not to do something you jokingly call her out on it and put her in her place. Don’t let her boss you around.
Hope this helps,
Hot Alpha Female
You’re spot on about the effects of negative attitudes, Jennifer. Having spent pretty much all my life under a dark cloud of negativity, I’m now starting to see that it’s possible to turn that around. I’m working on it. Of course the comments on your YouTube reflect a lot of negativity out there, and I wish I could help them more. If only they could see that there is a way out. Unfortunately I don’t feel ready to teach what I’ve only started to grasp. Randy Pausch said it best: “Decide if you’re Tigger or Eeyore.”
@Zach: Yes, there is a lot of negatively on you-tube. Because the truth is that it’s a lot easier to be angry and to blame other things than to take personal responsibility for something. A lot of these men are in pain and for now, this is their way of dealing with it.
All I can do is get this kind of information out there and make it available so when a man is finally ready to hear it, he can take it and use it to his best advantage.
You always have some incredibly insightful things to say, I’m sure you will know when it is the right time to share your information with others =)
Hot Alpha Female
Like walking in a dark room trying to ORIENT yourself, now that’s just hilarious, at least i think so
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I found your free advice on this site and your $1 ebook to be more valuable than some of the dating stuff I’ve paid much more for. So, thanks for providing it! Great points on attitude.
I’m writing though to figure out where the link is at the end of the video? All I see an audible.com ad. Of course you have me on the end of my seat, oh clever you! How can I hear your two-years-in-the-making, underlying point?
Thanks,
Joe
I think its very easy for an attractive women to discuss positivity when it comes to dating because for one she is ussually getting alot of attention from the opposite sex and probably does not have to work very hard to “whoo” men. I for one do not feel very popular around women, not very interesting and not very fun to be around. I came into the dating game when I was 16. Never had a successful relationship and have been rejected 80% of the times with my approach. When I was young I always thought don’t worry when you get older things will be different and you will be cooler, but now into my 30s I have realized that rejection is a common thing. Good news though is that I have accepted life in that general area and can live with the fact that some guys are more lucky then others. Like I said attractive women are popular and get lots of attention whereas guys are the ones trailing behind in the attracting game. I actually do not care anymore, men commit suicide more often then women so its actually best not to think about it to avoid a more addition of hurt. I used to care but I always felt a good way to move on is to accept it and not to care. Anyhow the point in final that I am trying to make is that yes positivity its important, women are looking for confidence yada yada yada but what about the fact that a guy who has spent the majority of his life getting rejected, not feeling confident, not feeling interesting, feeling like a loser MOST of the time in the presense of women. I would have to say that the average joe would have given up at this point. I for one have stopped approaching women. How many times can a person be unsuccessful in this area before deciding it is pointless to pursue? For guys that are successful and I know your out there : ) good job but for the guys that are not, how can you expect them to be positive and have this sense of hope that they themselves can be accepted by the opposite sex when it has been a failure for the majority of they’re life? Yes I know really bad question but I think that at least I can speak for the guys that are willing to stand up and say, hey I’m not good at it so at least I’m willing to discuss it! and furthermore accept it
@Maple Dude – Hi Fella, I must say I think a lot of guys must feel the same. That explains why there are so many books,articles and other tools to assist us in the dating “game” including Jenny’s web site.
I can only speak for myself but having thoroughly read through all the postings by Jenny here and on You Tube my “game” has improved 100% over six months or so. Yes I think it must be treated as a game or journey of self discovery. I think relating to women is basically a process and there are rules governing this process.
However to pursue girls as an end in itself will invariably lead to disappointment. As Jenny says your role in life is to be the best man you can. Women will invariably pick up on this aspect of yourself ie your innner state of development. They have a special intuition in this area as their gender behoves them to seek out the protector in men.
Ross Jeffries on his site complements Jenny in describing how men must removi all the barriers that they place in their own way in handling relationships with women. Remember men/women are genetically destined for each other . You must eradicate the negative thoughts and actions. As Ross says a good mental start when approaching any woman is to ask yourself: “How much happiness can this woman handle!”.
Look into yourself first though and be honest with yourself. What thoughts are holding you back.
Good Luck!
If a woman is not initially attracted to you, trying to pick her up will creep her out and you will only humiliate yourself…I have SPOKEN!