What Is Love To You?
I just so happen to stumble across this very interesting website which talks about the different meanings of love and what it means to couples and people all around the world.
Sometimes I hesitate to talk about love. Because, it’s one of these topics which is undervalued and over analyzed. In fact I would go as far to say that love is one of those things that is only really talked about when something is wrong with it.
In many ways, our society can’t handle true, romantic, happy, passionate love. To many, it’s simply unbearable. Because the people who experience such love is very limited. So, instead of; talking about love or expressing romantic love it is; suppressed, ignored or nullified. To talk about love seems boring, unnecessary and plain unrealistic.
With that in mind, let’s talk about love. Because, despite what the majority of society may believe I think love is; exciting, delightful, deep, eye opening, and incredibly fulfilling. I’m also sure that in saying so I could be accused of being naive, gullible and emotionally immature. But I stand by and continue to believe that love heals all wounds, creates a fulfilling experience like no other and should ALWAYS been given a chance.
On coming to this website in big capital letters reads “LOVE IS …..” Then in 11 characters or less you are to compress all the wonderful joys of love into a word. This itself seems like an impossible task. But I was determined to complete it. After much thought and deliberation, I placed my word in this box and smiled.
It read “love is … special”.
Yes, that is what love means to me. It is special because creating a relationship with someone is something private and intimate. You create a relationship with this person, which is like no other thing you have ever experienced.
There is this book which was given to me called the “Psychology of Romantic Love” by Nathanial Branden which has blown my mind away on what love is truly all about. It has integrated many of the things I felt I had learned from experience and also opened up an entirely new world. It is my belief that this book, if taught in school, would and could completely change the way people relate, love and develop relationships with eachother. It is the bible for relationships and love.
I mention this because Branden terms a phrase which develops my ideas on what love is about. And that is, of the “private universe” to which he explains as;
… an emotional support system, a sanctuary, a source of nourishment and energy, apart from the outside world.
Everyone who has been in love more than once knows that each love relationship has its own music, its own style – and its own world.
And it’s so true!
You are creating a “private” universe. One which only the two of you truly understand.
It’s special because you are sharing things with each other that you don’t share with anyone else. It’s special because any relationship you enter into, has it’s defining qualities. Each relationship has it’s memories. Each relationship has it’s challenges. Each relationship has it’s own language. Yes. That’s it. You are creating a language which only another person understands. Which only the two of you can truly celebrate.
Sometimes, I cringe a little when I read these relationship articles on “how to have a great relationship” or “common pitfalls you must avoid at all costs”. Yes, there are some things that every healthy fulfilling relationship is required to have like trust, intimacy, equal levels of self esteem and maturity. Some core components must be present in a healthy relationship. Equally there are other things that may appear quirky or improper to outsiders, which really make that particular relationship thrive and grow.
Additionally, there is too my emphasis on comparing the love that may be in front of you and the love being experience by another couple. It’s the case of keeping up with the Jones, except the ideals of a relationship are simply that. Ideals.
Happily ever after is a day by day, moment to moment experience. For women they seem to think that more commitment they receive from a man the more fulfilled they will be. But the emptiness they feel cannot be filled by a ring, a house, or a child. This emptiness must find nourishment first from the individual. It must then be coaxed out and shared with an intimate partner who encourages, supports and accepts all parts of what is before them.
So love is special. Love is private. Love is deep. Love adds the color in a black and white world. And yes, love should always been given a chance.
What is love to you?