The True Art Of Flexible Persistence …
Persistence, persistence, persistence. How important is this truly when it comes to attracting women? Does it really make all the difference? Is it the key factor that the average man misses completely? And, if so, how does it really work? Well, I can tell you right now that persistence is so incredibly important in the attraction process. The reason for this is because it establishes and builds trust with a woman. Trust isn’t everything to a woman, but it’s certainly one of the fundamental bases you will need to build with her.
So first I want you to understand a fundamental distinction that will allow you to gauge whether a woman is truly interested in you. There are two things you need to look out for. Her sincerity and her responsiveness to your leadership. Her sincerity is gauged by the correlation between what she says and how she acts. The more she follows through on her words and actions in response to you, the better. Responsiveness to your leadership is gauged by her ability to follow when you initiate something. Whether that be encouraging her openness, spending more time with you, or trying something new with you. A woman’s responsiveness to your leadership is a really great way to gauge her attraction for you: conscious or unconscious.
Like I mentioned before, trust is a key component in creating and maintaining attraction with a woman. I want you to truly understand how important persistence is in developing trust. A woman who is being completely unresponsive (not wanting to look at you, talk with you, give you her number, go on a date with you) is more than likely not interested in you. If a woman is giving you absolutely NOTHING then more than likely it’s best to focus on a different woman. A woman who does give you some openings like: talking to you, moving closer when you move away, or giving you her phone number, is a different scenario altogether.
A woman giving you mixed messages is more likely to be interested in you; than a woman who is simply ignoring all your initiatives.
I also want you to understand how much more trust a woman has for you: when she continues to see you push through your boundaries. Meaning when she is being resistant to your initiate (sending mixed messages) and you continue to find new means to push through and communicate with her, her unconscious thinks “Yes I do like this! Yes I can rely on him! Yes he a potentially worthy mate!” And, it’s for this reason that every NO that she gives you: may actually be getting you closer to a yes. Since women have a lot of different emotions to process; it means at times it can be incredibly hard to be decisive particularly about her feelings towards you, simply because there is so much processing taking place. When you are persistent, you cut through this processing and demonstrate that you are different you are a worthy partner which she can trust.
For the right woman only …
Now, flexible persistence does take a little effort. And, I mention this because NOT every woman is worth persistently pursing. But there will be a few women you meet in this life and maybe a special one, that really captures your heart. She is the one that will truly inspire you to NEVER GIVE UP. She is the one that you NEED to persist with.
You need to go after the woman that YOU believe is worth it.
In this life there is nothing you have to do that you don’t want to do. You always have a choice as to the woman or women you want to pursue. Remember you ALWAYS have a choice. So, when you find a good woman worth pursing, through flexible persistence you can win her trust, win her respect, and win her admiration. In doing so she will eventually bow to your leadership and to you. Every woman wants to won over. Every woman wants to be pursued (by the right man). Every woman wants to be owned (whether they admit it or not). Keep this all in mind.
Like I have mentioned in some my previous posts the majority of woman are simply unconscious about what they are truly experiencing. Most of their reactions are automatic, natural, and reflexive; all happening without any conscious awareness or thought. Again, this is why I warn you to be careful about how much you exactly believe or take literally when a woman says something. You have to put all her: signals, clues, innuendos together; like a puzzle piece to get a better idea of what is really going on. For example, a woman could think to herself, “I would never be attracted to a guy like him”; yet her feelings and unconscious tell her otherwise. This means that she could say something to you that in a literal sense would seem like a rejection. What she isn’t telling you is that she said or did she also felt a little thrilled or turned on. She may say something which in a literal sense pushes you away when she really wants to draw closer to you. She may say something which in a literal sense communicates she is uninterested when in fact she truly enjoys your presence and attention. She may say something which in a literal sense says I’m not attracted to you whilst experiencing sexual thoughts about you and then shaking them off. This is why it’s really important that you pay attention to her body language, her non verbals, and her overall interaction with you.
Don’t underestimate a woman’s desire to truly surrender and open to the right man. It’s your job to show her that YOU ARE the right man for her.
That you are a man she can truly trust. That you are a man in which she can completely let herself go and where she can still be safe. She wants to let go, feel uninhibited, completely lose herself in a strong, independent, and worthy man. Essentially you could be that man who gives her what she truly desires, but may not be able to express. You can truly address her unstated needs.
Now with that said, I am not writing this post to give you permission to start stalking a woman that you are really interested in, who clearly is NOT interested in you. I do want you to understand that you can use flexible persistence to pursue a woman which you have just met, gotten to know for a short period of time and who DOES give you small indications (responsive gestures/actions) that she could be potentially interested in you. Some of these responsive gestures could be found in a smile when she says NO to you or her ability to open up and be vulnerable in your presence for a moment.
The most important thing is that you are paying attention. The most important thing is that you are proactively looking for these gestures and doing small tests to check her responsiveness to you.
This can be gauged by verbal or non verbal signals. She may be sending them to you consciously or unconsciously. If you want to know a woman’s true intentions and feelings towards you notice: how she acts, what she says, and interlock these past interactions into her; all of which will reveal her general disposition to you. I will tell you there have been numerous times I have felt attraction for a man that I wasn’t consciously aware of. In my mind, I was not attracted to them. But my comments, actions and behavior would have communicated a completely different message. Consciously I was thinking “I’m still deciding about you”, whereas some of the unconscious things I was communicating were saying, “I trust you, I enjoy your company, I’m intrigued by you, and I’m attracted to you”.
What is flexible persistence?
So now we are finally down to my definition of flexible persistence. It is not plain straight PERSISTENCE. It’s intelligent, adaptable and feedback driven persistence. And, its a closed loop 3 part process.
Step One: Initiation
The first part of this process is initiation. Initiating something that will move the relationship you have with this woman closer to you. Whether that be asking for her number, going in for the kiss, going on a date, sleeping with her, or taking the relationship to the next level. Now, I will add that it is more than likely that a woman will have more resistance and require more flexible persistence when she is still deciding whether she wants to assume your leadership. When a woman is still deciding whether or not she wants to assume your leadership she will more than likely demonstrate the most resistance. Flexible persistence will help you assume the leadership position in her eyes. It also means you will more than likely experience resistance from a woman, in the initial stages of getting to know her. Like I mentioned before women are constantly processing a lot of different emotions at any one time. Meaning they can experience excitement and elation while interacting you and then half an hour later feel confused and vulnerable. In this instance, they need time to process their emotions and be reminded of the positive good ones.
That is why in the pickup community they will teach you to remind a woman of a heightened (positive) emotional experience that you had with her in the past.
When you can remind a woman of those experiences then she will immediately feel more at ease and remember how much she trusts and enjoys your company.
Step Two: Intelligent feedback
The second part to this process is intelligent feedback. You want to know how she is responding to your actions. Is she assuming your leadership? When you move back does she move closer to you? When you touch her on the shoulder does she seem comfortable with that? The reason why I will say straight persistence doesn’t work is because it is not taking into a account the responsiveness of a woman. If you just keep doing the same thing over and over again with a woman, like calling her a million times and she isn’t picking up then you are going to have to try a different way to get in contact with her. Taking the idea of flexible persistence into account, it could mean that you acknowledge she isn’t picking up your calls therefore texting her instead may be more appropriate. Try calling her and leaving a voice mail message. Try emailing her. Try sending her a letter (only if she knows you know her address). In each of these interactions you should keep it light, fresh, funny and low key.
No needy stalker behavior please. No voice mails which go alone the lines of “why aren’t you picking up my calls!” or “I spoke to your sister the one day and she said that you have were seeing some other guys, what’s with that?”
Make sure your interactions build trust, remind her of a good moment she has spent with her and give her an opportunity to do something low key with you. This kind of persistence may not necessarily register on a conscious level. On a conscious level it may mean NOTHING to her. But a woman’s unconscious is always at work. Always putting the pieces together. And it will also draw her to a man, that does hit all the right buttons. To a man that demonstrates that he doesn’t understand the concept of “giving up”.
Step Three: Adjusting your gameplan
This leads me to the third part of this process: adjusting your plan. If you are finding one means of contact isn’t working then try another means. Keep changing your offers, show her that you will find a way to get through to her. This is the most important element of persistence that many people overlook. And it can be taken on many different levels. Flexible persistence can be found in the ways you are contacting her, in the way you connect with her and the memories you remind her of, in the future interactions you want to have with her. The key is to be dynamic. The key is to reveal that you aren’t falling for her antics. That you WILL win her over. For example, say you are contacting a woman via text. She is responsive. So you give her a call and you ask her out on a date. She says that she is busy. So then you try to call her again. And you call about 3 times and now she isn’t picking up the phone. I would say you try going back to the text messages and call her out on it, something that challenges her to respond to you, that makes her want to get YOUR attention. Another thing you can do, is text her and as soon as she replies, you call her immediately. She will at least want to save face and pick up the call, even if she is nervous about talking with you. Also, when you text her you can change what you initially proposed (say like a date) to something less committal. If you asked her to dinner and she said no, then ask her out to coffee on a Sunday morning instead. If a woman is not responding to you, it will only be for a couple of reasons. These are: her not being entirely convinced that she is attracted to you, her feeling insecure with you and needing to develop more trust, her not knowing how to say NO to you.
All of this can be overcome if you can communicate to her that you are you are trustworthy, that you are interesting (and a good potential mate) and that the next interaction will be low key(helps build her trust).
So you find instances where she IS responsive to you and continue to build and build on that. If you need to take two steps forward and one step back, then do it. Gauge her responsiveness and continually tweak and adapt your game plan.
Last note about women
This three part process will continue to circulate every time you reach some resistance in a woman’s responsiveness to your leadership. I also want you to understand that when a woman is NOT responsive more than likely it has NOTHING to do with you. So, don’t necessarily take it personally. She is more than likely dealing with a whole range of emotions that she is currently processing. This is very true for a woman who is giving you mixed signals. So don’t hold that against her and don’t hold that against yourself. She probably just needs some time and some coaxing to process all the things that are going on in her head. And, you can guide her through that process. You can be on her team rather than trying to win her over. And, in doing so she will learn to trust and respond to you: time and time again.
At the core root of every woman’s fear is: fear of abandonment.
I can tell you right now, this is closely tied to her biological brain; which assumes that she is innately reliant on her provider(her man). So what happens she has 3 kids and her provider leaves? How does she survive? By being flexibly persistent you communicate directly to her unconsciousness. You tell her unconscious that you will be her provider(her man), that she can rely on you. All of this will help a woman become more open and receptive to your leadership and initiative.
I’ve had my say, now it’s your turn!
Hot Alpha Female