The Hitch Myth: All You Need Is Three Dates …
Myth: Once you rope a woman you are in – you don’t have to maintain her …
Ever had this experience. Walking up to a chick, somehow catching her attention and then not knowing what to say, how to act or how to move the conversation you are having with her into a “date” or a “lets catch up again some time again”. What about this. Going on a couple of dates with a girl, using some cocky funny humour, telling her some funny stories, charming her with your learned “alpha male characteristics” and then wondering … oh F**K what do I do next? Or oh F**K, I’ve used up all my material! Or oh F**K now she is interested in me, how do I keep this going?
Do you just keep doing the same stuff that you have always been doing? Can you just use the same material over and over again and hope that she isn’t like a normal human being who actually needs and desires some sense of variety and excitement?
I mean attracting a woman is going to be your biggest hurdle right? I mean once you have her attracted to her, its all smooth sailing. Its all hugs and kisses and minimal drama. Its all handled. Like you were the dog, she was the car and now you caught her … right?!
Yeh, well you have another thing coming if you believe that a few tips, tricks and smart lines are going to get you to score that woman you really desire.
You got another thing coming if you believe all your work is done once you have been able to attract a desirable woman, because in fact your work has only JUST started!
Hey don’t get me wrong, learning all these will help you get a conversation out of a woman, it might even help you get a couple of dates, it might even score you a woman that is interested in you, but there is only so long that you can keep an act running for so long. And I sure bet its exhausting keeping up a facade and behaving in a way that feels completely foreign to you.
But I can’t blame you for having this extremely blinding and almost horrifying belief that once you get the girl all your work is done. We have recent movies like Hitch to re-enforce this idea.
As Dr Hitch says,
“Three dates is all I need. Three dates, and I’ll get you here, to the high-stakes medal round …. After that, you’re on your own.”
Yes you are alone. So very very alone. And I really doubt that you could afford to hire Dr Hitch for the entire length of your relationship, especially if its going on long-term (he didn’t look too cheap). So let me break this down. He coaches you for three whole dates and if he can successfully coach you without you coming across Mr. Bean turned Mission Impossible agent .. you get the girl and then its all over. Happy ending and credits rolling.
Or is it?
Well as I’m sure all of you have experience that in fact maintaining a woman can be harder than attracting her. Especially if you used these half ass tips, tricks and one liners to get her interested and now you just are left with all your “original content”. In fact its just as much of a problem for guys to not only attract a woman, but to keep them interested.
And guys, if you are getting dumped for the same reasons time and time again, this is probably a sign that there is something you are missing on your behalf (sorry, someone has to tell you!)
You see, its easy to attract women, when you understand what drives them, what they are looking for, what they want to feel and experience while with you. That’s all these pickup lines and techniques teach you, how to get a woman to experience a desirable feeling. And it works, yet you just get left out in the cold as to what exactly that feeling is that you just created and why its so important.
You see without a real understanding of the psychology of women, its like getting the answer to a math’s problem, but never knowing how to solve the equation yourself. Yes, frustrating. So don’t fall for the myth. You need to know so much more, than simply “getting the girl”, you need to know how to maintain her (that’s another story).
So what is your alternative?
Trust me in the long run, this one works out to be cheaper. You ready for it?
You cultivate in yourself a man who naturally attracts and can continue to maintain attraction with women.
Now I know this sounds easy and in some respects it is.
But more importantly means that you must cultivate your best self, you must find ways to access your presence and your masculinity, you must develop passion and purpose in your life, you must develop your assertiveness and compassion and you must remove and replace limiting beliefs about yourself, women and relationships that may be affecting your current situation.
You see the work is a lot harder, much more deeper and also much more beneficial to your own personal development and ultimately to your life. It becomes a process that surpasses your frustration about women or your lack of understanding about women. It becomes a process that is entirely about yourself. If you are truly struggling with attracting women, then no quick fix is going to save you. No one pickup line, pull and push technique or conversation starter is going truly give you what you want. That’s the truth.
You can actually limit a whole lot of current and future frustration by understanding that this is going to be a process for you and the aim is improvement rather than getting it all together in one big moment in time. And your kidding yourself that all you need to learn is how to pick up a chick and that’s it. Come-on – we both know women are more trouble than that! Do you really think they are going to let you get away with it that easy?
So you don’t have to ditch the hitch movies or throw out all your pickup books, all I’m saying is to get your assumptions right, learn the fundamentals and realise that if you truly want to learn to interact, attract and maintain attraction with women, that its going to be a longer but also more worthwhile process.
Guys, I know your reading, what are some of your thoughts?
Hot Alpha Female



I believe that some guys who have trouble attracting women in the first place do have the skills and the character needed to keep them. That was my experience anyway; that after years of women turning their nose up at me whilst barely knowing anything about me, the first woman to actually see the real me acted as though she’d found gold and we built a great relationship together.
This is why I make no apologies about learning PUA type material. I lived for all those years without knowing any of the secret handshakes without which women would just dismiss me out of hand.
@rich, I think that the two go hand in hand with eachother and like you mentioned, there are some guys who do have some attractive qualities but just need to learn a few extra skills to get the interest of their desired woman. I’m assuming this is what was happening with you. Thanks for your comment rich =)
Hot Alpha Female
[...] Hot Alpha Female » Blog Archive » The Hitch Myth: All You Need Is Three Dates … hotalphafemale.com/2011/01/the-hitch-myth-all-you-need-is-three-dates.html#more-682 – view page – cached Brutally Honest Dating Advice … [...]
Well if anything, by PUA standards I had a good new years
but pretty much picked up leaving out a lot of my actual self and the gamer stuff. Essentially I was just more normal and outgoing, it’s not a complete lie but it’s not the truth either. Still.. I decided to go back to riding on charm and just forget about finding something serious in Canada while I’m here. Seems for me it’s a better approach to just leave things until they show any interest in really getting to know me
@fathamburger: I love this line,
“it’s not a complete lie but its not the truth either”
That made me laugh hammy! I’m glad that the girls where you are now are a lot nicer than where you were before. And how can a girl get to know the real guy, if your not showing them at all? Then even if they are interested, they are interested in the projection of who they think you are anyways. Keep appraoching girls, see how far it takes you … and don’t let that wicked mind to start taking over and talking you out of everything =P
Hot Alpha Female
You really have nailed it here Hot. PUA was an important stepping stone that took me to the exact place you describe in your post….” I have her interest , now what the f*ck do i do?”
In the words of Alex Allman ” pua is like having the key or crack to a very complex video game, allowing you to beat it without being challenged or failing along the way…. bypassing all of the good stuff to get to the result. For me it didn’t take long to realize I didn’t like having a short-cut to attracting women because I was missing out on all of the wonderful feelings that come when you know you might get shot down or make a connection.
The big question that i asked myself ( and others who find themselves int this situation should ) is ” what am I lacking that makes me seek approval?”
Finding the answer lead me on a journey of self discovery, and eventually to a place where i was absolutely comfortable in my own skin. It is undeniable that all women are drawn to to a man who has taken the time to examine himself , to understand his strengths and uncover his flaws.
Great post
Keep up the good work .
@jeff: thankyou for your comment and stopping by =) reading your comment was so incredibly heartening, these are the stories that I really like to hear! Like you mention, learning the game, gives you the key to cracking the first code of women (getting them attracted to you), and once they are, now what? “Dog chasing car and catching it” – now what the F**K is it suppose to do?
I am so glad to hear, that asking your question has lead you to a journey of self discovery, that is my hope for all people who come across this PUA stuff, to ultimately learn more about themselves and develop a deeper understanding of women.
Good on you, Jeff
Hot Alpha Female
Hey Hot,
Just curious, how many men do you think are naturally good with women? It seems that there is an endless number of areas in attraction and seduction that one has to learn to be smooth with women. What percentage of men do you think are good with women without studying any PUA or self development material? I mean is it the minority that need to resort to PUA for success with women, or are the masses clueless. What is your opinion?
@Julelz: This is a really great question. And, you may not like the answer. But the percentage of men that are naturally good with women is probably 1 – 5% of the male population. Therefore, it’s the majority that would need to focus on developing certain skills. With that said, it doesn’t mean that 95% of the rest of the male population want to learn PUA stuff or personal development. Of these 95% maybe less than 10% of them actually look at improving themselves in relation to women. The rest of the other men usually can find a woman to settle down with but normally would not have the skills to create a long lasting and fulfilling relationship.
A lot of this is perpetuated through hollywood. As men are being displayed in more feminine ways and women in more overly masculine ways. This can have a big impact on the expectations of a mass society with it’s own consequences.
Hope this answers your question,
Hot Alpha Female
I for one am TIRED of caring about what women think of me. I agree with the self-improvement aspect, but NOT in order so i can attract hot women (that i do not believe at all, because some other dude is also confident, cool,etc AND better looking)..self-improve for yourself..not to get a woman to be attracted to you.
HotAlphaFemale…if your boyfriend/husband is an average-looking guy with a middle-class income, and won your heart with PUA techniques and self-confidence, then great.