How Important Are Looks To Women Really?
Hey guys,
I was dealing with a pretty bad toothache while filming this video, so thankyou for bearing with me. Despite that, I really wanted to get this video out to you =)
While checking over my 800 survey responses to the question “what is your biggest problem when it comes to attracting/approaching/interacting with women”, I found that a lot of you guys were concerned about your looks and were wondering how important they truly were in attracting women.
So I want to give you the truth! And I hate to sound cliché, but its not all about your looks. In fact they have very little to do with how attractive a woman will find you.
The truth is that women, gauge your desirability and your attractiveness by the OVERALL experience of HOW THEY FEEL, when they are interacting with you.
The more she likes this experience, the more she craves this experience, then the more time she will be willing to spend with you. And how you cultivate these feelings in her, is not dependant on what you look like. That’s the exciting part!
Enjoy guys and let me know your thoughts
Hot Alpha Female
P.S Here are the links which I mention in the video for further “research”.
Alex – Succeed At Dating – Are looks important when attracting women?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfYqq5eeONk
Shimmycocopuffsss – Looks ARE important (too) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsRu6OaUA9E
P.P.S Music is by Tomahawk called ” When the stars begin to fall”
UPDATE: Here are some examples of beautiful women with not so hot guys.
Katy Perry and Russel Brand http://www.hotalphafemale.com/katyperryandrusselbrand.jpg
Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat) http://www.hotalphafemale.com/fisherandcohen.jpg
hey , been watching al you videos , thier great . i want to introduce you with a problem i have . i am deeply in love with this girl and i know it , we have such a good time but one problem .. shes in love with my friend . she doesnt know i like her but she said to me ”i like you as a friend more than him” , ”but i like him more than a friend” ..i know this is bad . yesterday we talked on the phone for 8 hours straight from 10.00pm to 6.30am.so there must be something there . i want the best advice to get her cas i know i love her more than my friend does . were playful with each other but i hope she doesnt see me as a best friend . . yesterday i saw her along with othere people and she looked so beutiful that i was worried to talk to her like i did on the phone . PLEASE PLEASE HELP how do i get her to like me cas even though she loves him i know 100% she feels something for me .even if its tiny . shes out of my leauge and gets loads of boys as i on the other hand am not a player like her . so give me your best advice . . cas im only fouteen but i honestly think im in love . also when i sit next to her in maths she makes me feel really nervous and insecure when im around her by saying things about my appearance . i can tell she obviously joking but it makes me feel nervous and uneasy , which completely ruins my flow and makes me act strange . please give me advice . your my last hope . and i mean my last hope TYSM
@taju: thankyou for stopping by and asking me this question. I want to do the best I can to help. First there are a few things you need to look at. One it seems that the type of relationship you are developing with her (in her eyes) may be more of a friendship. It is obvious that she trusts you. Its obvious that she likes you as a person. And its obvious that she feels a connection with you. In order for you to “be with her” the way you want to, she is going to need to feel “attracted” to you.
Make sure to review my “why are you in the friendzone and how to get out of it” – here is the link.
http://hotalphafemale.com/2009/10/why-your-in-the-friendzone-and-how-to-get-out.html
Focus on developing that attraction with her. Make sure to tease her, be playful with her, make her work a little harder for your attention. I can tell you right now, even though you may continue to have really long conversations with her, it will not help with the attraction.
The second thing that you mentioned that caught my attention is that you believe that she is “out of your league”. If you truly believe this, then she can sense this too. What do you mean out of your league. You have been able to classify yourself as in her league as a friend, so why not as someone to date?
Hot Alpha Female
Dear hotalphafemale
hey , thanks really helped . and i think what i really need to work on is that word ATTRACTION , can you explain to me what you mean by , ”make her work a little harder for your attention” and how i can do it . also as i sit next to her in maths 4 days a week (45 minutes per session) . got any ways i can use this as an advantage in getting her attracted . i’ve heard the saying play hard to get , does it work ? should i try it and how ? . anyway thanks , the friend zone video was very helpful indeed , it really showed me what i was doing wrong .
please reply back
yours sincerely
Taj
Here’s my 2 cents worth;
Looks are without doubt very important!
If you haven’t developed the ability to look her straight in the eye and convey a sense of whatever it is you’re feeling , calm , playfulness, sexy , certainty , you will be seen as unsure, weak or worse.
Every guy should work on his “looks” for this reason.
Unless you were referring to “being good looking” ??
Women will always say they have a type , and the truth is they believe that to be true until someone comes along who is not that type ,and is able to create attraction.
I’m shorter than most men , receding hair with a little belly , not exactly what a woman would respond to if you asked her what she is attracted to, yet I have no difficulty attracting .
If I were more handsome or taller i think it would give me an advantage during the first stage of meeting women , and thats about it.
There are ways things you can do to make sure you are not excluded … better hygene ,good grooming ,a sense of style… smelling good. If you have a problem with any of these you may find yourself rejected before you get the chance to speak.
Guess that was more than 2 cents !
J
@taju,
The most important thing to remember is that she is in YOUR LEAGUE. You are her equal. There is no reason why she would “not” be interested in you. You must come from this frame of mind when interacting with her.
When you consider yourself her equal, then this means you say and do what you think is appropriate at the time. Don’t second guess yourself. If you want to say something then say it. If you want to tease her then tease her. She must feel an emotional and physical attraction for you, in order to want to “date” you.
Communicate your interest through your actions rather than your words. But set reasonable boundaries on yourself too. Don’t feel like you have to go above and beyond for this girl. IF she asks you to do something and you don’t want to do it, then tell her No. She will respect the boundaries that you respect.
Although I don’t recommend too many pick up techniques, some things that come to mind in catching her attention are;
-flirting with other girls in front of her
-teasing her and having a comeback for almost everything she says
-making her work for your attention, meaning giving her attention initially and then pulling that away to create this tension
These are just techniques, what is important is that you understand, “why” these techniques are work and work on developing your own kind of personality that is confident, assertive and understands what truly turns women on.
Hot Alpha Female
@jeff – And that was worth every penny!
Yes in this video I am referring to this idea of “being goodlooking”. I found that many guys were concerned that they were “not good looking enough” or that they didn’t have that “standard good looking appeal”.
So I wanted to point out that even if you are not the ideal height, weight, type of guy that is deemed to be attractive, that you can still be “attractive to women” – because women are attracted to the experience of themselves while they are interacting with you.
You are spot on when women say they have a “type” and then proceed to go an date someone who is a complete opposition to that type. H**K that’s happened to me, so now I know for certain that it is in fact a complete LIE!
With that said, presentation is important. You don’t have to be particularly attractive, but if you pay attention to how you present yourself, the way you walk, the way you dress, your hygiene and you have presence and strength that is even slightly above that of the average guy, women will still be very much attracted to you.
Thanks for the comment =)
Hot Alpha Female
hey , hot alpha female
thanks for your advice , i shall test it out . lately i think shes been using me a bit to make my friend jelous in school . buttt on the bright side she has started showing some flirting which i hope is good .
thanks for everything and i shall fill you in on my progress soon
even if i dont attract her (which seems likely) your tips i have found very useful and will use in the future
taj
Hey taju,
Well if you don’t think you are going to succeed, then why don’t you just experiment instead? Try things that you wouldn’t usually do and just “see” what happens. Its better this way, because you will have less attachment to the outcome. Some of the things that you may want to try are
-Calling her out on using you as a way to make this guy jealous
-Busting her when she starts flirting with you, just say something like “oh, your flirting with me huh?” and match that with a coy smile and laid back body language
-And start flirting, interacting with some of her friend, while she is nearby, that one usually will get her brain working in a different way ….
Let me know how you go,
Hot Alpha Female
ok , thanks ill keep you posted . got any more things that i wouldnt usually try i could attempt
if not , ill keep you posted
@taju: Try these things out. The most important thing is your mindset going into interactions with her. Your confidence, how you feel about yourself. Focus on looking at ways in which you can develop this, your at the perfect age to start =)
Hot Alpha Female
ok ,
not good news , lol , she pulled my friend on friday after flirting with me first (just a little) . since the we havent really talked . she said shes gonna ring me tonight (nothing serious,we usually talk on the phone ) . she told me this on messenger . i havent had a chance to use my new moves since friday .
i was reading some stuff on eyecontact the other day and how important it is (what are your thoughts)
was also reading some things on mirroring her body language , is this good ???
thnaks , give me some tips on how i can attract while on the phone if you can
should i talk to her on the phone whenever she calls or not
awnser all questions please . thanks. anyway altohugh my chances are unlikely . i will use all your tips in future with other women but ive never been in love so i dont know how long till i get over her . anyway youve been a great help
please W/B
@Taj: I think the most important thing for you to do is to get clear on what you want. Do you like her more than a friend? If so then be upfront about it. Be honest about your intentions with her and own that completely. If you do tell her and she doesn’t reciprocate, then move on. Like don’t contact her, don’t be friends with her. Liking someone and them not liking you back, if a waste of time and it creates a toxic relaitonship for you and for her. If you want to be her friend. Then be her friend. If you want to be more and she doesn’t want the same then move on. Seriously I’ll be saving you a lot of grief.
Then start practicing the techniques that I was talking about in my previous comments, with other girls. Just practice, experiment, see what works and what doesn’t work. I will tell you the most attractive quality a girl finds in a guy, is his ability to lead as well as his strength and internal confidence which gives him a presence that most women do not get to experience with many other men.
Start practicing that =)
Hot Alpha Female