So I want to talk about that friend you have. You know your girlfriend who seems to have guys hovering around her 24/7 waiting to pounce.

The girl who doesn’t seem to be doing anything in particularly special to attract the males species.

You know, that girl that drives you insanely jealous. Sure she is hot. You tell yourself you wish you had her legs, her butt, her boobs, her beauty mole, her perfectly straight teeth etc, etc.

Yes looks help.

But it is not the one holy answer to all questions. In fact there are plenty of hot women who don’t get approached at all (but that’s another story). So if its not entirely down to just looks, then what else could be at play?

You want the real reason why people don’t approach you? Its real simple.

Because they feel like you are going to reject them.

Like hardcore reject them. Like laugh in their face. Like slap you in the face. Like cause a scene in a room full of strangers and plain straight out call you a fool. Of course this rarely happens, but this is what guys honestly are thinking about when they are deciding about whether or not to approach a girl. Its nerve-racking.

So the key to getting approached by more men … is to make it an easier for a guy to approach you. Sounds simple huh? Well here are some of the reasons how you can do this!

1) Drop the defenses.
Yeh girls you know what I’m saying. The bitchy look. The lack of eye contact. The pair of unflattering pants which makes you ass look fat (which you can only reason with “but they are so comfy!) These are all defenses you put into play because deep down you are just that little intimidated if some cute guy actually does start talking with you. And then you get to go home, call up one of your girlfriends and complain over the phone why you don’t have a boyfriend and why no one thinks you are attractive or worth talking to. Here’s the facts. A guy will not approach you, if you seem intimidating (well the average guy). If you are not getting any approaches by men (and in fact you would like to get more) then you need to drop your defenses. This leads to my next point.

2) Flirt Shamelessly – Encourage them =)
Yeh you know the opposite of having all your defenses up. So this means the solid eye contact, the smile, the laugh, the hair tossing, the gentle touch on the arm. You know once you get rid of all those “self conscious” thoughts of not being good enough in whatever way that is, you will find that you are in fact a natural flirt. In fact when you are attracted to man, you will subconsciously open yourself up in terms of body language, tone of voice and behaviour anyways. You don’t need to force yourself to do it, you just need to be confident in your own subconscious mind! The most important thing is that you become comfortable with flirting in general. So what do I suggest? I suggest flirting with everyone, man or woman. Practice being friendly, open and engaged and you will notice a positive feedback in the way that people respond to you. This will then build your self confidence, expand your comfort zone and lead you to want to flirt even more!

3) Objective: Engage, engage, engage!
So flirting is usually a response once a man shows his interest. Well what I’m talking about here is proactively making sure that you are engaging with everyone in your current world. Saying hello to people in the elevator, striking up conversation with people at the bus stop, talking to other patrons in the restaurant. This is about treating everyone equally, with respect and with the aim of having a conversation/interaction with them, which ends up in both you feeling better about yourselves because of that interaction. Once you know how to engage with the world, it will be a lot easier to engage with a man that is of interest to you and you will also find that a lot more men come to approach you, converse with you and take you out on dates.

Do you guys get it now? Becoming more approachable is about being proactive rather than reactive. Its something that you can take complete control over. Its all a matter of attitude. So no more jealously over that hot friend of yours, because with these tips you are totally going to give her a run for her money!

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