Why Does She Put Me Through All These SH*T Tests?!
So let me give you a couple of examples. You get her number which she gives to you readily, yet she doesn’t return your calls nor pick them up when you call. Or she sets up a date with you and then, cancels last minute. Or she is always busy and can never make time to speak to you or spend more time with you.
Yes my friend, you have a woman who is blowing you off! If you are making all the moves on this chick and she is giving you absolutely nothing back, then I can tell you right now, that there is nothing you will accomplish by stalking her or calling her 5 times a day instead of once. I’m also here to tell you, she most likely is not interested in pursing anything further with you. Its a hint dude, so read the signs and move on. I know it sucks when they don’t like you the way that you do, but such is life. Not everyone that you like is going to like you back …. no matter what you do.
Don’t sweat it. You’ll live =)
Now there is a difference between a woman that is blowing you off and a woman that is being flakey. A woman blowing you off, will usually give you nothing back to work with. A woman that is being flakey means that sometimes she gives you what you want and other times she doesn’t. You can probably describe her actions as intermittent. When a woman is being flakey she is most likely interested in you, but is testing you. In other words they are seeing how much of her BullS***T you are prepared to take and how effective her little games and mannerisms will be with you. The more effectively she is able to manipulate you, the less interested she will be in you.
So when a woman is being flakey and testing you, this is great! Because it means there is actually something that you can do, to give you a fighting chance with her! To help you understand a little bit more though, first I’ll give you a list of reasons why women feel compelled to test you;
- to gauge a man’s presence
- to gauge a man’s strength
- to see whether this man can match her on her level
- to filter out which men are worth her time
- to ensure that this man can protect himself and therefore protect her (emotionally and/or physically)
See the reason why women are testing is because at the core of their being they have the urge to want to feel “safe and protected”. This also helps to trigger attraction in a woman. By being present, demonstrating strength and understanding her actions, behaviours and her challenges/tests she feels like she is more able to surrender and let her guard down.
The safer a woman feels around you, the less she will test you, period.
You see if there is a woman that is testing you a lot, then its because of one of two things.
1) She is getting to know you, so she is gauging you out – her testing will stop or minimize dramatically if you are able to assert who exactly is in charge and pass her tests.
2) She feels insecure and like her safety is threatened (emotionally and/or physically)
Most of you guys when initiating the dating stages will come across a woman flaking out on you or testing you because she wants to find out where your boundaries and your limits are.
The most important thing you can remember is that you must never give a woman the reaction that she is expecting. As soon as you do that, that is when you fail the test.
See the number one thing that I want you guys to understand is that women speak in figurative terms rather than literal terms. Men, you are great, because usually when you say something, that is exactly what you mean. When women say something, it many times will have nothing to do with what she is actually feeling or what the real problem or underlying meaning is. The meaning will usually be hidden under layers of “diversions, excuses and fake smiles”.
In the meantime, you are thinking that when she is complaining about her job, that its about her job. When its really because she feels unappreciated, overworked and emotionally drained and feels like she just needs someone to listen and validate her feelings.
Alternatively when she tells you that she likes you as a friend, it can also be her subtle way of asking you, come-on, how interested in me are you really? How much of my crap are you going to take, before you just go after what you really want.
It can also be expressed in her brattiness, her sarcasm and her smart alec remarks. Underlying all of this she is screaming, come-on prove to me you are not like all the other guys who are just going to kiss my ass all night. Prove to me that you are different. Beat me at my own game.
I know a lot of you complain about why women play so many games.
I ask you to reframe this and look at more like, women subconsciously are compelled to test men as a survival mechanism. As a self preservation technique. As a biological and somewhat autonomous part of their brain that draws them to strong, capable and confident men.
Just like you guys are visual creatures and automatically find women with hourglass figures and proportionate hip to waist ratios, women are geared to test and evaluate their potential mates to find the most suitable one for them. When you learn the rules, you can then use them to your advantage. So why not give yourself the upper hand? She will love it!
So now you have my reasons why women test men. What are some of your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Now its your turn to have your say!
Hot Alpha Female