The ONE Reason Why Pick Up Techniques Don’t Work For MEN!
Firstly a word about understanding women. Women are one of those things that you either “get” or you don’t “get”.
When you “get” it … when you know what attracts them, turns them on, keeps them interested and happy …. then the only problem you’ll really have, is finding the right kind of woman that is available and can keep up with you.
Still a problem. But a better quality problem.
Now if you don’t get it(and I know there are a lot of guys that fall into this category) understanding, dating and maintaining women can be a futile as a fat kid trying to go on health kick.
You know what you want, but you don’t think you can have it. At one point you think you have it all figured out and then *WHAM!* she throws out a wild card.
So how can we solve this problem? Well simply put, you must get yourself to the point where you “get” women. Now I’m a full supporter of the PUA or the Pick UP Artist community. Because learning about, attracting and dating, really is a skill. However I have to add here, that technique isn’t all you need.
If I give you a 100 of the best pickup lines, teach you how to flirt a little, show you how to overcome any “shit” tests that women put up, do you really think you will be set to “get” women?
The answer is a BIG FAT NO!
I’m sorry to say it, but its the truth. Oh heck, Ok I’ll admit it, that felt good to say =)
And this will be heartening for you guys out there who have tried some pickup techniques and failed miserably. Because until you get to down to the reason “why” you don’t “get” women, then no pickup technique is ever going to save you.
What parts of you, lacks self confidence? What parts of you want to say something that you think “she” will like to hear? What parts of you, want to do the right thing? What parts of you, are afraid of going after what you really want? What parts of you, are afraid of the possible rejection? What parts of you, don’t you think are good enough?
You want to know the truth? Do you want to know the real reason?
The truth why you don’t get women, is because you don’t get yourself.
You don’t know yourself, you don’t trust yourself and parts of you don’t even approve of yourself. So you go out there, pretending that “hey” everything is ok.
And this woman can sense it on you. By the way you talk, by the way you hold yourself, by your nervous laugh. She can sense that you don’t get yourself and that if you can’t even do that, then how can you ever really get her?
If you really want to learn how to attract and continue to maintain attraction with a woman, you are going to have to deal with you first. My friend, you got to get down to the cause of the problem (your limiting beliefs) instead of trying to treat the symptom(lack of women who are attracted and continue to be attracted to you).
Do you get it?
And once you have developed the internal self confidence, one you have removed any limiting beliefs which cause you to approval seek, to hesitate, to take action … your mere presence will attract a woman.
A simple introductory “How’s it going?”, will be enough to spark her curiosity.
When you get to the root of the problem and you find those things within yourself that are ultimately inhibiting the way you really want to act and speak, then you find liberation, a new more confident and somewhat defiant self, that is sexy, masculine and magnetic.
Men and women … Your thoughts?
Hot Alpha Female
Your views on why pickup lines dont work have a logical, deductive dichotomy of “getting” her or “not getting” her..but also have (your views) a totally Hot spirtual Ass..as pure as The Gospel and as Fine as ..hotalphaTruth.cu
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PUA = guys who tried to figure out the logic or mathematical equation in “hooking up” with women
Truth is all they really do in teaching these techniques is inspire confidence to the mentally inclined but lets say for a lack of a better term “people stupid” individuals
Security+Confidence+Strength+Since of Humor = Charisma, Sex appeal, and Desire teachable yes…to everyone maybe… but then like any knowledge it is how you use it. No matter what you know if you can not read people you are doomed to fail. Some people like pick up lines, I personally would never use them!
@Ryan, you make some extremely valid points here about pick up lines and PUAs. I think even though the technique doesn’t solve the problem … it can help a guy to figure out there are areas on himself that he needs to work on. At the end of the day a person who goes through the PUA process, comes out a more rounded and developed individual.
I write about this here in my other post …
Is all pickup learning about manipulation ..
http://hotalphafemale.com/2008/12/is-learning-picking-up-all-about-manipulation.html
Hot Alpha Female
The problem, in my opinion, lies within the title: “Techniques.” There are no techniques that will help you find the right woman. Oh, sure… there are certain things you can do to “hook up” with someone, but she’s gone once she realizes the chemistry isn’t there – the REAL chemistry. A guy can pretend to be someone he’s not, but a woman will quickly discern whether or not it’s real/natural or an act.
Women want a man… not a little boy. They want someone who’s sexy, intelligent, confident (but not arrogant), secure in his masculinity (i.e. not homophobic or overly territorial), loving, funny, not afraid to be be aggressive, sexually. They want to be respected, heard and appreciated. Thing is… I think most of us (men AND women) kind of want the same qualities. Women tend to care more about his ambition and how stable he is and men tend to focus more on looks (let’s be honest). In the end, we all need the complete package – not someone who’s just good at seducing us… but is what we need.
Then, again… we’re all different. Each of us has varying wants and needs.
Wow. I talk too much. Time to nap. I’m old.
@Buddha, oh don’t you have a lot to say about this topic huh? =) I think at the end of the day, seduction and techniques if mastered well can actually help a man score and bed women.
However to have a actual relationship with them, requires a depth of self and people of similar nature and values to truly last.
You are true when you say that men and women essentially want the same things. I would also add that for men praise, approval and validation are essential and for a woman she needs a man with a grounding presence and strength.
Thanks for stopping by, you know you can never say too much =)
Hot Alpha Female
Yep. Men need a woman who will help stroke their big, fat ego.
Pickup lines work when you have the confidence to back them up. If you’re confident in your delivery, then they never really fail.
@Zian: Absolutely. Real confidence. It won’t work for someone who is pretending.
I’m not interested in being a PUA but it seems to me that both people who are scared to try something outside their comfort zone and those who already have a skill internalised are quick to put down learning methods.
Some of us have been constantly been measured, judged and dismissed by women on terms that we’ve never even understood in the past. Just having someone say “oh, that happens all the time; this is what’s happening, try this sort of response” makes a real difference to peoples lives. There are a lot of things I would never have figured out about myself and women were it not for PUA material.
@Rich: Yes! I think both men and women had to learn the fundamentals of dating and relating with the opposite sex in a kind of adhoc way. And this can be really damaging on the interactions with the opposite sex especially when its not effective.
Some PUA material is just brilliant in that it educates you on social interactions on the way women respond to certain things and what women want to experience that automatically makes them more attractive to you.
It seems to me rich that you take on all PUA material as a learning tool which aids your own personal development, which is exactly what it is =)
Hot Alpha Female
It’s funny men have to “get” themselves, go deep into their insecurities and come out enlightened first.
When all a woman is expected is to just be a decent fucking human being. On top of that, we have to put up with your insecurities irrational behavior (because you’re a “woman.”). We also approach you and face all the rejection (because you’re a “woman.’). We set up the first date, the 2nd, the 3rd. We START the whole entire relationship. We also are the ones that propose.
And what do you do? Jack shit. Smile. Eye contact. Say “okay” if our approach is good enough? Fucking please. Women are spoiled, assholes, and don’t produce a fraction of the skills they look for in a mate.
@koku: Regardless of how many folks agree or disagree with your post, it’s certainly not going to win you any brownie points.
I agree with koku, and don’t want any brownie points! I don’t agree that women in general are ‘assholes’…but if they’re pretty, like Alpha female, that’s pretty much all they have to be. However, us men are idiots for falling all to pieces because they look good. BUT WAIT! Not all men are needy wussy-boys! No, the good-looking dudes, who are athletic, or have some money and attract women in general HAVE the confidence! Gee, what a coincidence! The dudes that are already getting getting laid because they’re good-looking or maybe natural born narcissists have self-confidence! The average joe who has no luck whatsoever approaching women who are ‘out of his league’ (pretty) need to learn how to act as if they are confident, or rather, learn to love themselves…but still need to give up the idea of dating ‘the hot babes’. Physical appearance IS important to women, who are we kidding to say that it isn’t? Money is important to women. If your average looking, go for average looking women. Looks matter. PUA seems artificial, phoney and it i would lose my hard-on with a woman who fell for that. If i can’t be myself, then to hell with it!
A woman will either be attracted to me or she won’t be attracted to me. That is entirely up to her. I am happy and proud to be me. If that is not good enough for a gorgeous-looking woman, then so what? There will always be competition, and there will always be “not measuring up” to that competition, always…no matter who you are. Looks matter to everyone. It is natural to factor in physical attractiveness for both sexes. But to worry about not attracting the “hotties” is a major waste of energy. I’d rather accept myself for who i am, than to try to be someone i am not in order to impress a woman because she looks good. That is really pathetic!…i know, because i’ve found myself doing that (not on purpose)..many times.