How To Tell What He Is Really THINKING!
Got ya with that headline right? Come-on, I’m a chick, I know the conversations we have over coffee or breakfast with the girlfriends, trying to figure out exactly what Mr. A is thinking and what he meant by saying that or doing this.
I must admit that girls love to fantasize. We love to make up stories in our head and hope for the best that it will turn out like that in reality.
The truth is, this is probably the number one cause for drama in a girls dating or relationship life, because it sets up unrealistic expectations or outcomes which cannot really be controlled.
Usually a girls thinking goes along like this, “If only I knew what he really meant, when he said this, or looked at me that way. If I really knew then I would be happy, or I wouldn’t have to worry”.
No wonder dating and relationships can be so agonizing! That’s torture right there. Because the truth is, even if a guy tells you straight out what he is thinking, it still might not be the truth! You will still colour it with your perceptions, your beliefs and all these filtering systems in your mind.
We are hardly ever relating to an actual person anymore. More so just the thoughts of who “WE” believe them to be.
So I guess now you want an answer to the truth about what men are thinking …
Well here is my answer….
It doesn’t matter!
Yep. You girls are probably hating me right now. Some of you might be thinking, “What do you mean it doesn’t matter, how does it not matter?!”
Yeh I love you too.
No, truly I do care about you guys and that is exactly why I’m telling you “as it is”.
The truth is, that guys don’t anal-yse as much as we do.
The truth is, if you really want to know how a guy feels about you, look at his actions.
Action is the language of men. That’s your gauge.
If a guy is interested in you, he will chase you down like no tomorrow. Men are hunters. Your the prey. Let them do their job.
Common situations for single gals
So if there is a guy you like and things are going well. Then all of a sudden he is no longer calling you, contacting you or asking you out on dates.
Do yourself a flavour and listen what he is really saying. His actions show that he is not chasing you. Therefore for whatever reason, he has lost interest. I know it sucks.
Don’t take it personally. Unless there was something really crazy that you did, that scared him away.
In that case, fix that up and keep on going.
Common situation for gals in a relationship
So a guy tells you he loves you. Ok its called a Tuesday. But how do you really know?
Well does he ask you what’s wrong when you seem in a stinky mood? Does he make the effort to see and contact you? When you make a request or tell him about something you need, does he step up to the platter?
Its easy to love a person on a good day, when all things are going well. But real love is when a person sticks by you thick and thin. Good and bad days and doesn’t love you any less for it.
In this day and age, words are easy to come by and easy to say.Many people these days say one thing and then do another. So don’t fall into that pitfall. You are looking for people who are not only true to their word, but have their actions match their words.
So next time your wondering if a guy is really interested in you, or into you. Really listen. By observing what he does.
Matching words with actions is what you are looking for. You deserve nothing less.
Men: Do you agree? Men speak by actions?
Women: have any stories to share in relation to this?
Love to hear your thoughts.
Hot Alpha Female
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yes – its’ true. you can tell women anything – and a lot of them believe it – e.g. obama hope and change
women love the verbal – save that for your girlfriends
actions actions actions
Yeah, learned that the hard way – my ex kept telling he loved me but did all sorts of backstabbing and even cheated on me, also he kept turning up late for our dates.
So no more sweet talk for me.
Guy I’m dating now is a real gentleman but doesn’t fuss about it, always on time – I almost screwed it up by a crude remark that he could have taken the wrong way (he got hesistant and stopped asking me out), but somehow he got over it and now he’s asking me out again and it’s better than ever.
@Liliane, thats so great that things are going well with your new guy. I think sweet talk is perfectly fine, if it is backed with congruent action. Thanks for stopping by =)
Hot Alpha Female
I was seeing a guy for just over 4 months & he has played me something awful. I am so angry with myself for letting him do it. He chased me to begin with & totally bombarded me with texts & phonecalls. My guard was up in the beginning & then I made the mistake of letting him in. In the beginning I told him that I only wanted something casual as wasn’t wanting anything serious. He was then the one that said to me that he didn’t want me seeing anyone else & that he was starting to develop really strong feelings for me. I then started thinking that we could maybe make it work & I said that I was starting to have feelings for him & I was by this point. Then all of a sudden his textin & phonecalls got less & less & I felt he was starting to play games. He then phoned me one night drunk & told me that he hated the way he was treating me & that he loved me & he was scared of the way he was feeling as he had only been in love once before & all that he was trying to do was push me away. He was working away at this point & I hadn’t saw him for a few weeks. He said when he got back he wanted to take me out somewhere nice. I agreed to this & was meant to meet him on Saturday & then I tried to phone & text him & he never got back to me. I felt like such an idiot so I text him & told him to delete my number & that I never wanted to speak to him again & basically told him what I thought of him. He then text me last night saying he couldn’t let me go & that he was an fool for not meeting me & that he didn’t know what he wanted. I text him this morning & told him that I don’t want anything else from him & that I have wasted enought time on him & that I want to move on with my life & he hasn’t replied so far. I am trying to stay strong now & show him that I am not going to be treated like this anymore. Why do men have to play games and play with a womans feelings. Reading this back I cant actually believe that I have put up with it but I genuinely thought he really liked me as I haven’t heard many men using the “L” word very often.
@louise: Well I think both men and woman are guilty at playing games with each other at times. I think you have done the right thing with attempting to move on. I would suggest not to pick up any of his calls or be in contact with him. You would probably have a more fulfilling relationship with a man who is actually emotionally available.
In regards to him texting you and phoning you a lot at the beginning its also probably because men are naturally geared to want to chase …. you were giving him a lot to chase at the beginning … but he didn’t actually know what to do with you once he caught you.
Hot Alpha Female
Thanks Hotalphafemale – I feel a lot stronger today, as it has been coming for weeks & think I have accepted that he wasn’t the one for me & if he was then he wouldn’t have been playing silly games with me. I have also deleted his number, in case I ever have any weak moments & I don’t think that I will hear anything from him again either – lets hope not anyway!!! Time to hold my head up high and move on!! Im going to concentrate on being on my own for a while & build up my confidence & inner strength. Men are off the menu for a while.
@louise: Good on you! Just let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. The hardest thing about letting someone go is dissolving all “the expectations” you about them aswell. Maybe you thought that he was someone you could see yourself in the long term etc, allow yourself to feel a little sad or angry if you have to.
There is no point trying to push all that stuff down, because it eventually kicks you in the butt anyways. Focusing on yourself and cultivating your own confidence is very important and I’m so happy to hear that you are going to do this.
Give yourself the approval, love and understanding that you could have been seeking from men. I would also suggest not to close the door completely on men just yet. Focus on yourself and doing the things you love, but if a man just happens to come past … be open to it too =)
Hot Alpha Female
So how do you tell what a woman is really thinking?
@Anon: Gauge by her actions and responses rather than what she says.
Hot Alpha Female