So here is the thing. Dating is this fast paced, confusing and messy place at times. It can send you to the heights of happiness/excitement when you meet someone great to the depths of sadness/anger when it doesn’t work out. It can be one of those highly frustrating but truly rewarding journey’s especially when you find a good guy or girl.

But before we get to that part, I want to talk about a pitfall that a lot of people get themselves into and find it hard to dig themselves out. What I have noticed the most is that WE are the ones that make our dating lives complicated.

Whether that be because of our poor choice of dating partners or our bad relationship habits based on the past – usually we are at least 50% responsible for something not working out.

I was recently having a conversation with a good friend of mine who is having issues with a girl that he is still very much interested in. This girl just so happens to be very emotionally charged and comes with a lot of baggage.

Realizing that my friend was in actual fact a lot of fun and very easy going – I was a little baffled and wondered why on earth he was attracted or interested in someone like her.

His response surprised me. It was this.

“I just like having someone who I can help and therefore feel appreciated” – in other words someone who will need me.

Now there in lies the core problem. Dating isn’t necessarily a contract. You don’t take the pros and cons of someone and weight them up on a piece of paper and then make your decision. Its not a I’ll give 50% and you better give me the other 50%. Its not made on a “needs” and “wants” basis.

Dating and relationships are messy. And if you haven’t noticed there are a lot of irrational emotions involved. There is lust, attraction, chemical reactions – all taking place to cloud your judgement and help you build unrealistic expectations.

That added with a poor choice in partners and I can guarantee whether your male or female that is bound to get you a lot of dating drama. Cold and hot behavior. Confusing signals. Mis-communication and so on. Disagreements and silly fights about absolutely nothing.

So if in fact we are picking partners that create more drama and having all this drama leads us to being single for a longer period of time – then we are also the ones to choose our dating status.

In the “Wedding Date” one of my favorite movie quotes was something along the lines of “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”.

I go along and say everyman has that too.

So what I’m honestly wanting to share with you is – just maybe its not the fact that “all the good men are taken”, “you don’t have time”, “your attracting the wrong singles” or “you can’t meet anyone until some pre-requiste has been met”. Maybe, just maybe it has something to do with YOU and not THEM.

All of these excuses, stories and fallacies are what keep you safe. They keep you from actively engaging in the dating world, enjoying it and doing it on drama free basis. SO when you can assume full responsibility for where you are right now, then you are the one that has complete control over how you want it to work out in the future.

Now isn’t that a risk worth taking?

Readers would love to hear your opinion – what are some of the common dating excuses you use or some people you know use?

Look out for the next Brutally Honest HAF Post.

Hot Alpha Female

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