Why Picky Women – Never Get Dates They Want
Yes. That’s right. You heard me. I did just say that.
Now for the women reading this who are getting a little infuriated at my title heading I urge you to stay with me and keep reading on …
Because you are the kind of woman, that needs help. Right now your probably thinking of 1000 reasons that completely justify your right to be picky, bitchy and a little hissy.
Think I’m wrong. Well let me just regurgitate a typical conversation I’ll have with a woman about men.
“There is no one out there that is worth dating
“All the good looking men are gay or taken”
“All the guys that are interested in me, I’m not interested in them”
“Guys are really confusing”
“I really don’t understand men”
Ok so usually there are variations of these types of conversations, but most of them boil down to those 5 juicy ones I just shared with you.
Now what in the world does this have to do about women being picky or bitchy. Well the first thing that I want you to realize is the nature of these comments.
See how they are all blaming something or someone outside you own control. Its either the guy isn’t right, the situation isn’t right or the way someone likes you isn’t right.
Well let me just say, that nothing and I mean nothing in your dating world will change unless something about YOU changes first.
I know, I know. It sounds all cliché and relationship materially. But let me put it to you in layman’s terms.
Its not HIM. Its YOU.
Every single dating problem you have, is a result of you. You, you and only you. It’s a harsh truth I know. But it is also incredibly empowering. Because if it relies solely on you, then that means you are in full control of what happens from now on.
So if it is up to us, then what are some of the crucial lessons we have to learn. Well let me give you a head start.
Now just to mention that when I had this SIMPLE mindset shift, I went from dating no-one in particular to 4 new guys (3 of which I’m still seeing) and countless dates, in ONE single month. My dating life, magically transformed before my very eyes. And so now I want to share the same thing with you.
What was this simple mindset shift? Before I tell you, let me remind you, that it is the most “simple truths” we come across in our life that have the power to completely change it.
Well here it is, so make sure your reading carefully.
Start to appreciate the guys that are currently in your life.
That’s it.
Now for those women reading this who are profoundly disappointed with how simple this is, let me explain.
From all the “single” women that I meet, interview and socialize with – Every single one of them will have at LEAST one guy – who so badly wants to take them on a date and at the very least has a crush on them.
And from most of these single women – they have abruptly brushed them off to the side and are wondering when prince charming is heading around the corner.
Well wake up and smell the dead roses.
Because “that guy” ain’t going to be coming, because he is watching how you are treating the other men in your life.
That’s right. Your prince charming. Well he is a smart fella, and he isn’t gonna wanna step foot into your dominion, until you start respecting, receiving and appreciating the attention that you currently have, but neglect to see.
Now this mindset shift will be the spark that gets the engine running and the wheel spinning. Because it will mean, that finally you will say yes to that guy that clearly has liked you for way too long. And you will go on that date, you will smile and laugh at LEAST once and you will practice the art of receiving from a man (very tough to do for some women, but practice makes perfect). And when you do that, it will be easier to say yes to another date and it will be easier to smile at the cute guy at the book store and it will seem more appropriate to look your best when your out and about. It will start to feel more natural to be admired, appreciated and complimented and that wonderful feminine and vibrant energy within us women will radiate out to the world.
Being appreciative of the men in your life, lights up the beacon in your soul – and that makes it easier for that “someone” to find you. That’s what gratitude does.
So next time you feel like complaining, whining, moaning, bitching and hissing about men. Take even just a few seconds before you do that, to appreciate all the wonderful men already in your life and perhaps the ones to come.
I guarantee it works, it has worked for me, it has worked for others and it will work for you =)
I know that it will work so much that next week, you will get my 5 top juicy secrets for dating multiple men.
Because that of course is the next challenge ….
Hot Alpha Female
dear HAF,
sound advice indeed, picky women need to learn how to appreciate and receive male attention.
but there’s something very important missing in this article…
when she does say Yes to the guy(s) currently in her life, she’s already been their “friend” for some time. what does she do when the guy gets to take her out, and shows her a good time, and she appreciates it… yet STILL just doesn’t find him attractive. you mentioned this in another post where you followed your mother’s advice, and went on those dates, and still you felt nothing.
so you are encouraging a woman to essentially test the waters using the very men she rejects, but then if she ends up rejecting her friend because he still doesn’t turn her on romantically… how do they go back to being friends after that?
as a guy, I would consider us having courted, having failed, and that would be the end of that particular opportunity. if the woman experiences this, wouldn’t she think “ah, see! I KNEW I shouldn’t have gone on that date!”
…or to put it another way, HAF, do you believe that if a man and a woman truly enjoy each other’s company, that they are Dating, regardless of what they may call it?
(I tend to believe this is the case, which is why I never let women I’m attracted to “Friend Zone” me. what do you think about this?)
@Jeff: Really interesting topic that you pose here. I would say that
1) People are not dating unless they are romantically interested in each other -mutually.
2) If two people are simply spending time together – and there is one interested party and the other just considers the other as a friend – that is NOT dating. That is one person being in the friend zone and wanting to get out of it.
3) It’s a risk – turning a friend into someone you date. If it works great! If it doesn’t, sometimes you have to be prepared to let the friendship go – esp if it’s too awkward or hard to repair. You gotta push that off that fence and bear the consequences whatever they may be =)
Hot Alpha Female