I Kick His Butt Then I Kicked Him Out The Door!
Well, here’s how it all went down. I hope you don’t mind a long message here, b/c I want to make sure I get the details right & let you know why I’ve made a final decision.
First, the wrestling match itself. I had no idea how this would go, to be honest. Even tho’ I beat him soundly the first time I knew he would be extra determined to beat me this time w/his male ego on the line. Plus, he was really trying hard to psych me out. We were at my apt. where I have a large mat I use to practice my judo rolls and do some yoga as well, and I was stretching to get ready. The whole time while I was doing this he was like “I am going to seriously kick your ass, you know”, and “When I pin you I might not let you up for a while”….but I just ignored him & kept stretching. He was all hyped up and aggressive & like “quit stalling, let’s go!” & all this really typical alpha male behavior. When I was limbered up I said “OK, I’m ready, just let me get my hair tied back.” (I have really long hair & the first time we wrestled it kept getting in my eyes so I made sure to tie it back in a ponytail this time….this became an important point later in the match.) He was staring me down and I have to admit, I felt a little nervous b/c even tho’ we’re about the same height (I’m 5’8″ & he’s maybe an inch or two taller) he probably outweighs my 125 lbs by a good 40 pounds or so and is fairly strong. I started to wonder if I was in over my head but I quickly put the thought out of my head & just told myself to remember my moves & training.
So we started to circle each other. I waited for him to make the first move and he did, trying to grab me around the shoulders. I let his momentum come forward and quickly wrapped my right leg around the back of his left knee and locked it there, then I pulled it back sharply while shoving up around his shoulder and he had nowhere to go but down. He landed on his back w/a grunt & I could already see that first flush of frustration as his face turned red. He wasted no time getting back to his feet and kind of jumped at me but I sidestepped and grabbed his wrist in both my hands & again let his momentum carry thru & then I twisted sharply, first up, then down, and flipped him down again on his back.
Again he got to his feet quickly and came at me hard so I just started to dodge and keep my feet moving so he couldn’t get a hold of me. I didn’t want to engage him while he was this angry and running on adrenaline b/c I knew he would overpower me, but I also knew the longer I could keep him moving and flailing the more tired out he would get. My judo training gave me excellent stamina but my BF’s conditioning isn’t as good & I knew he would get tired out b4 I would. Plus, I’m pretty fast on my feet & I think I’m a shade quicker than he is so he had a hard time getting any kind of hold on me & I could hear his breathing start to come quicker and his movements get slower. He was also getting pissed, accusing me of “not standing to fight”, but I just said “you fight your way & I’ll fight mine” & that just got him madder!
Then when I saw he was really slowing down I went on the offensive. I caught him w/another leg sweep, then another as soon as he got to his feet (which is more draining than he realized…every effort to get up off the mat was making him weaker and more out of breath)…and I kept using wrist flips, ankle trips, and especially my leg sweeps to send him down. This probably went on for like another 15 or 20 minutes. I wasn’t hurting him w/these throws but I could hear him trying harder and harder to catch his breath….even if he wasn’t aware of it, he was getting more tired and weaker with each throw and effort to push himself back to his feet.
Then at one point he came at me and tried to put me in a headlock….he got his arm around my neck, but I slid out of the grab (he was really getting weak at this point), but as I did it his arm caught my ponytail & it came loose and my hair got all in my eyes so I said “wait a minute” and turned around to put it back…..
I figured this was a break for him…he could take the time to catch his breath, and I really thought I was doing him a favor…but shame on me for being nice BECAUSE while my back was turned and I was fixing my hair he came up behind me and put me in this huge bear hug and threw me down! really hard!!
I was so pissed b/c he clearly was trying to cheat his way to a win….so I hit the mat and b4 I could protest he had jumped on top of me and was trying to pin my wrists….but he just didn’t have the strength at this point and he forgot about my legs. I might not have that strong an upper body but my legs are extremely strong and while I kept his arms at bay I brought my legs up around either side of his stomach, squeezed around his torso & locked my ankles. Then I straightened out my legs and just squeezed as hard as I could. I could hear the air go out of him like a balloon and he lost his grip on my wrists and I just swung my legs to the side and released them and he rolled to a stop, gasping for breath.
I got to my feet and stood over him & was like “what the hell was that about grabbing me from behind while I wasn’t ready??” and he said nothing so I just waited for him to get up and I decided to end it there in style.
I grabbed him under the shoulder, and he tried to get away but was so winded he could barely move…I wouldn’t have been able to do this move if he had any resistance left at all b/c he’d be too heavy for me, but since he was unable to use any energy against me, I twisted my hips fast and threw him over my shoulder–in judo it’s called an “Ippon”and if you do it right you automatically win the match–and this one was nearly perfect….I slammed him down on the mat with a loud thud.
He let out this groan and I knew he was done & we both knew it, so I didn’t feel it was necessary to humiliate him any further by pinning him, so I just stood there w/my hands on my hips waiting for him to admit it was over. But he didn’t say anything, wouldn’t even look me in the eye. I waited and waited for him to get to his feet and when he finally did I put out my hand for him to shake and said “good match”, but he wouldn’t take my hand and then he goes “F— you, bitch.”
And I swear, my jaw just dropped. I mean, I just stared at him, too stunned to say a word. THEN, he had the further nerve to say “You didn’t pin me so you don’t win. This isn’t over.”
That’s when I recovered my wits enough to say “Listen to me carefully, b/c this is a really important moment in our relationship. I understand your upset right now. I beat you again, and I know –for whatever reason–how much it hurts you to lose to a girl, even tho’ you just don’t get it that I know judo & you don’t and so I have an advantage. So I’m going to give you a minute and really settle down your emotions and think about what you just said to me, and think about what that means….we just fought each other physically but I’m still your GF and you cant speak to me that way…even if your ego is bruised. So please, take a second, and breathe, and I’ll let you say something else, but whatever you say next is really going to be important for whether we can keep seeing each other.” (I was getting really upset as I said this and almost started crying but I held back just enough to get it all out).
Then he just goes “You didn’t beat me.”, and I said “That’s it? That’s all you have to say after what you just said to me b4?” and he goes “yeah, that’s it.”
and, Jen, I really kept my cool at this point…even tho’ I felt like screaming at him and worse, I just started to gather my clothes (I had fought him just wearing my leggings & a sports bra), and didn’t say anything, and he goes “what do you think your doing?” and I put my jeans and shirt and boots back on and said as calmly as I could “I’m getting dressed, and your leaving. We wrestled, and I kicked your ass. Again. You lost to a girl, and a hot girl at that who gave you every chance to do the right thing and you couldn’t. Now you wont be able to call me your GF any more. Think about that on your way home while you lick your wounds.”
So now HE was the one staring at me w/a dropped jaw & he goes “what? are you serious?? I’m not going anywhere!”….and I stayed calm again and said “Do you want me to call the cops, or should I just give you another beating?”…and he got this really angry look in his eye like he was going to attack me but I went into a fighting stance and I think he knew he was way too beat up by this point to even try going after me…so he just points his finger at me and goes “This isn’t over” and got his stuff and left.
After he shut the door I found myself shaking and I waited till I heard his car start up & leave and then I actually did break down and cry….just from the whole physical and emotional toll, you know? But I realized too that it was kind of a relief b/c even tho’ I was so hurt that he would say such a thing to me & act this way–and was so intent on beating me that he attacked me while my back was turned–all of that showed once & for all that he’s not the guy I thought he was. So in a weird way I think it was good that I agreed to this rematch to see once and for all that I cant have this guy in my life.
Even if he calls and apologizes now (he hasn’t called since) there’s no way I can forgive him or take him back. Too much has been revealed, I think.
anyway, I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to listen to me these past few weeks and letting me air my feelings on your blog. You can post this if you want to let people know what happened (no way did I want to hog up all the space on your comments page) or just ignore it if you feel it’s “TMI” or something…but I really wanted you to know just what happened and how much help you’ve been to me.
Hot Alpha Females Response:
Well two things. I really sorry that it had to end that way. And Secondly I’m really glad that you did KICK HIS SORRY ASS.
Really I have no more sympathy for him. By the way that he reacted this guy obviously needs to grow up, find some self esteem and get a life.
But I say that with much love.
I know this is the right answer, coz I feel dam good about saying it!!
I will say that I knew a rematch was going to fix anything. But it depends on what needed to be fixed. I think it was great that you went out there are did it again, but I already knew the answer you were going to come at me with.
So you want to know what to do next?
Well I know this part sucks the most, and this will be the hardest part of the whole process..
You have to accept that the whole thing is over. Seriously in the whole part of breaking up .. this is part that kills the most.
But its relatively painless once you do say to yourself “you know what? Its over and I will find someone better”.
Everyone comes into our life for a reason. And even though you are hurting right now, he was there for a reason too. Maybe to teach you something about yourself, maybe so that you can appreciate your next boyfriend more.
Despite this, you really are better off without him.
Your young like me, there are shite loads of guys out there in the dating pool who will add variety and spice to your life, who will appreciated you and treat you how you deserve to be treated.
And let me tell you this. You did not deserve this treatment. But like I said before there are really no bad experiences in life. Because you learn something from that experience further on down the track and find out that, it was really there to serve you.
So what do I recommend? I recommend firstly accepting it. Secondly not contacting him for about 1 month. Set that as the target and then after that month is up, decide what you want to do. Thirdly cry is out if you need to, don’t hold it in. Fourthly get around your girlfriends or your family and let them support you through the process.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel .. so stay strong ok?
Readers? Any advice you can give to Jennie?
Hot Alpha Female