I’m Attractive, Smart, Have A Great Career .. So Why Can’t I Find A Man?
It just doesn’t seem to make sense anymore.
Women today are more empowered than ever, we can do as much as any man can and I would even go as far to say that we can do MORE.
Our careers are what we make it, glass ceilings are breaking all over the place, we are no longer expected to say at home.
In fact we are expected to do everything …. Like have a career, take care of kids, maintain a healthy relationship, take care of the family, have a good social balance and all with a smile on our face.
But why is it that so many great girls that I’m coming across who are HOT, SMART and SUCCESSFUL are having trouble finding quality men?
Is it that men are just intimidated by success?
There is a girl that I met recently and she told me about an experience that I found to be interesting and shocking at the same time.
She was talking to me about how we could not attract the right guy for her.
Now she had a successful profession she was a doctor and was very good at her job.
At the same time she is also a pilates instructor in her spare time.
Weird combination, I know.
Anyways so she was at a bar one time with some of her friends.
And a man approached her and started a conversation with her.
All was going well and he asked her what she did.
She replied I’m a doctor.
The guy looks at her … then looks away and yells “NEXT!!”.
Then she went on to tell me … that when she replies to the same question and answers that she is a pilates instructor that she gets the opposite result and that men want to get to know her better.
So this really makes me wonder.
She could be getting this result because of two reasons.
The first reason is that men ARE intimidated by women who are extremely successful.
Why?
Well I believe its because if a woman is successful in not only in her career but in her life, then the male feels that he cannot adequately provide for her.
Not only because they would have to accept that his partner would be earning more money than him, but that he would not be able to provide the right amount of emotional support for her.
If a woman is so successful already, then why in the world would she need a man? Where does he fit in?
I think this is what runs through his head. But guys, when you read this and can think of some other reasons, I would love to hear what you have to say about it.
So the 2nd reason I believe …. Is that the woman because she is successful believes that this inhibits her ability to attract quality men because they are intimated.
Because she has this mindset, she only attracts people and situations that match this and is unable to see the good quality men around her.
As well as this, she believes its her success which is the killer, when really its her attitude that is.
She behaves and acts in a way in which makes men feel inferior and not a challenge to her.
She therefore rules out any potential men before they even get to say hello … let alone ask them out on a date.
Therefore her theory becomes a self fulfilling prophecy which she cannot escape from, until someone comes around and gives her a bitch slap!!
So for those women who are reading this … This is my bitch slap … and while I’m there, I might have to give myself one too!
Hot Alpha Female
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Hey guys,
Not all men are intimidated by successful (ambitious, determined, career minded people) – that guy who said “NEXT” is obviously an insecure jerk. Regardless, an alpha man would continue the conversation and delve deeper to see if there is a connection there (throwing in some cocky funny, bantering, kino) with a ‘lets have fun and see where this can go”. If she wasn’t up to standards then the man can eject himself. The trick is to be persistent and push through the bitch shields – if thats the kinda gal you’re after.
At the same time, these women are caught in a constant negative feedback loop and are unwilling to entertain conversation from other men. I’ve seen that when I open with a (witty, confident, smiling, eye contact, relaxed body language, dressed smart) situational opener, there typically is a look of disgust/anger/contempt from such women. But at the same time, I might be in a line (eg at LAX going through customs) and be having a conversation with a celebrity (making them laugh, tease them, etc). So the solution – who cares about this woman anyways (the negative appealing one that is), if she is uncivil (and who tolerates that kind of behaviour) then don’t put up with it… smile and say ‘have a nice day’.
Curiously though, as these women are playing the field – burning one man after another… are they ever going to find that one perfect man (that is, if one man can completely satisfy a woman on all levels… is there such a man; do women think there is?) – what would they say or do to make that man want to date her anyways as more than a mere face in the crowd. The situation of moving from one guy onto another is that each in turn is a better (more satisfying) variant than the previous??!! There are a lot of unfulfilled relationships nowadays – what are they bringing to the party : )
Keep it real guys,
All the best
Micha : )
There are plenty of successful women who are happily married. Pay close attention, men are not attracted to your degrees, your job title or how much money you earn. You have evolution to thank for that. Good men are attracted to a different set of physical and personality traits. Good men like women who display the outward signs of genetic fitness which are an attractive face and a well proportioned body, but they will step over a hundred degreed model-hot women to get to a plain Jane who is a loving, kind, unselfish, humble and pleasant to be around. These are the traits of a good wife and mother.
Men instinctively know that women are naturally hypergamous; meaning that they prefer to mate up. It is not intimidation, but ingrained sensibility that prompts them to look elsewhere for a more receptive partner. Also, these women who claim that they are looking for Mr. Right; if that is so, why are they looking in bars and clubs? If you are past your 20s and are still using clubs and bars as places to meet men, you have only yourself to blame. You went to school and work professionally with plenty of men; why you did not capitalized on the opportunity and sought out a relationship with the better men in the bunch before truly smarter women snagged them?
Bottom line: being attractive and intelligent enough to enough to earn an advanced degree does not speak to your character or your personality. You could be a shallow, selfish, arrogant; a high-maintenance drama queen who lacks integrity and that is the vibe that you are putting out. If that is your issue, I am afraid that your deficiency is incurable. You can keep picking up jerks at clubs or you can marry a spineless wimp who will put up with your horrid personality.
Using the “men are intimidated by me” line so you do not have to face the issue that you repulse good men with your bad personality or poor character is a defense mechanism that will get you nowhere good.