The Good Break Up! How to deal with a breakup and heal a broken heart …
It was another light bulb moment, but this one was more profound.
Now I’m sure that many of you have had ex boyfriends or girlfriends, so you will be able to relate.
Let me just let you in on the scenario and then tell you what I have learnt from it.
So here’s the thing. I had a boyfriend for like 3 years back when I was like 16. He was my first boyfriend and to tell you the truth, it was a pretty good relationship. I say that in hindsight taking a step back and being able to rationally think about it.
Now things didn’t work out, because he just wasn’t really the right guy for me, but none the less you live and learn. And its an experience that I wouldn’t change for in the world.
Now lets skip over to my brother. He too at the time was dating a girl, who was his first girlfriend. I think they dated for a total of about 18 months. I only know that, because they had like one month anniversaries … but that’s a whole another topic I could rave on about, so don’t get me started.
N here is the thing. Because my brother and I are pretty close we use to hang out in this really tight group of 6 people. Which included my boyfriend and me, my brother and his girlfriend and two other guys who were best mates.
We would go out all the time go away for roads trips and what not.
So to cut a really long story I broke up with my boyfriend, my brother broke up his girlfriend, the whole group split and then my ex boyfriend and my brother ex girlfriend have hooked up and now have been dating for 7 months.
Yes I know .. it sounds like something that I could have made up. Better yet I think it would make a really good plot for the bold and the beautiful. There is more to that story, but its so ridiculous, I’ll leave it up to your imagination.
So anyways, here is the thing.
If your ex boyfriend and your brother ex’s girlfriend, hooked up together, that would be something to be pretty upset about right? Considering you were all friends beforehand.
So of course my brother and I were a little upset at the time. I do recall up bitching about it to other people.
But it did have it advantages aswell. Because it makes some really fun and interesting conversation at parties. Especially with the little kicker, which I didn’t add here.
Deep down that bitching came from hurt though. Like besides the laughing that situation kind of sucked ….
N my realization this week was this … its quite profound …
If everything happens for a reason. Then maybe this was one of the ways that they could have met. Maybe the whole reason for us being with them, was so that they could end up being together.
If they are happy and are really right for each other and they get married and have 2.5 kids. Then you know what that is soooo ok.
In fact, I would be happy for them. I never want to talk to any of them ever again, but I’m happy that they could make each other happy.
ok I used happy too many times in that sentence, but you get the drift.
So I thought to myself. What if everything happens for a reason? What if there are no coincidence that happen in life? What is every for bad thing that happens to you there is a good thing to cancel that out. And better yet, what if there are no bad things in life, only good things in disguise?
What if something you thought was “the one” .. has to walk out of your life … so that you can actually find what you were really looking for.
N I’m not just talking about relationships. I’m talking about every area of your life. What is all the bad things that happen to you in life, are really good things in disguise.
I mean is the situation where a mother loses her child in a car accident to drunk driving a bad thing, if that pain causes her to go on and campaign against drunk driving which in turn results in saving thousands of other children?
Seriously its something to think about … A little deep … but hey I can be deep at times so deal with it.
So back to that situation with my ex. I guess you could look at it .. and say to life,
That is SO unfair
That is SO wrong
How could he do that to me?!
…… and all that mental trash that goes up in your head.
But here is how I look at it now … He has done me a HUGE favor. Because obviously he was not right for. N by not being with him, it has allowed for to not only grow as a person, but allow someone else in my life.
Let me leave you with this thought. How bout you look at all the things in your life that seemed to be bad initially, but have really proved to serve you in the future. Things that you thought would be the end of you … but really have been the beginning of something great.
I think you will truly be amazed at all the wonderful things you have learnt.
N you will realize that where you are depends on where you stand … You see its all about perspective.
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