Questions Every Girl Is Dying To Know ANSWERED- Part Two
It is mostly coming from an internal desire, like a spark. You actually see a woman and if you can’t turn your head away. Our paradox is that we feel that desire and the approach anxiety at the same time, so we have to deal with it. Most guys would just walk away at that point, the harder thing to do is to actually beat your approach anxiety and approach the girl.
When you are in an approach situation, you have never met that girl before, so you can’t really know what she is like in person. All you see is how she looks and how she holds herself. Beauty is common, but what really stands out is a girl, that takes care of herself. Go to the gym 2-3 times a week, visit the beauty saloons and etc. you know those stuff better that me, anyway! It will make you feel better and you will have a cooler vibe!
As you know, you can gauge a man’s masculinity by his body language. It is the same for women on femininity. It’s expressed by her posture, by her gestures, her social skills and etc!
Now, pursuit is a whole different matter. I would be willing to pursue a girl if she acts unexpected, or plays a little bit too hard to get or if she is not available all the time. Add a bit of mystery to it and … I’m lost.
The result is going to be this interesting chase, a game of push-pull, played on both fields. This, I believe can be achieved by following your advice, about learning the rules of the dating “game”.
Are there any things that a girl might do when it comes to dating that totally freaks you out?
Hey, I am not the guy who would lose that much composure and get to totally freak out, LOL! But, yeah, there are several things that would make me not call a girl again, or never go for a second date or to advance further.
Like for example if a woman is coming way to strong, way too soon. I need time to get into relationship and that is so, because I want a healthy relationship if I am going to wind up in such. That is why I thing that two or three months of dating first are reasonable.
Also there is the stalker type of women. Suddenly they start appearing everywhere around you, being all jealous and stuff. I once had this girl chasing me like crazy. She called me everyday, explaining her love to me … and she has never met me in person. She got my mobile number from somewhere and started stalking me.
Another turn off would be if the girl start acting all masculine and dominant. It’s just not my type. That would be as attractive as feminine and submissive man for women!
What would be your advice for any of the single gals out there who want to find the right kind of guy?
I would advice them to explore their inner self, their inner game. Because, honestly I don’t think that women need any types of techniques and such in dating. Instead get some books, read to understand how attraction is triggered, why you are attracted to “jerks” and “players”.
Get to know yourself, and then learn to understand women at general, then man in general and after that – the type of men you are interested in!
And hey, don’t be afraid to look for help. There is nothing wrong in getting dating advice or some products. I think there is a pretty good book for women called Catch Him and Keep Him written by Christian Carter. Actually he is in the Double your Dating owned by David DeAngelo, that changed my life!
One last advice that I give to me to – don’t get stuck with the idea about the one and Mr. Right! Instead have fun and invest some time in dating and getting a deeper understanding of man in general, so when the right guy appears, you will be ready!
What does it mean when a guy says that he isn’t ready for a relationship or not looking for anything at the moment? Is that a blow off .. or is he just emotionally not ready?
Interesting question, I never expected it so you caught me by surprise. But I guess this is a common situation that women encounter when they find a guy the feel “connection” with.
It could be both ways. There is never an answer to such question that will cover all types of men around the world. I believe both women and men are guilty in these situations and I will try to cover a couple of those now.
Women often make mistakes, trying to go after a man who is not relationship material. I don’t blame you, after all attraction is one of the most powerful drives in humans! Most of the time what women find attractive and intriguing has NOTHING in common with what would result in a good and long term relationship.
What is worst actually is that those man who are ready and wanting a relationship are not experienced in dating and women. They have no idea, how to make a woman feel attraction for them. They can’t flirt, they can’t spark attraction, make connection or generally don’t have a cool vibe and women won’t go for them at all. Those guys fall into the friend zone!
While other men are experts in creating attraction, while they don’t really have interest in relationship. You can never change or tame a man like that, because it all about himself. If you ask me this is not mature and boyish, as naturally masculine and feminine selves are to be bond!
Ok so is this myth true … Are guys actually scared of commitment?
Depends, it is true for some guys and it is not for others. I can think of two types of men who would be “scared” of commitment.
First here would be the guy, who had low self esteem and/or no success with women. But his path changed and is now successful, rich and attractive. They now feel a new power and enjoy a frenzy of dating. That type of men probably has holes in their self-esteem and is trying to fill it with more women. What’s worst is that most of these men harbor some resentment towards women, for the time when they were rejected and dateless.
Next come the guys who need constant validation and approval from women. What there looking is to fill their lives with attention from women. They also harbor intense sexual desires and fantasies.
Not all men are this way, but players, seducers and some of the PUA’s around are this way.
What are some of the fears that you guys have when it comes to the dating scene or relationships?
I once read an article by Dave Barry and he called out one of the fears men harbor and he called it – “The Fear That If You Get Married, Some Single Guy, Somewhere, Will Be Having More Fun Than You.” I’ve actually gone through that fear as well, as I was scared of getting into a deeper relationship, because I still feel young and I thought that such relationship would limit my possibilities. But this was because I relied on women and relationships to define my life. Now, when I am different, my belief is that a woman and a relationship is a nice addition to my life and there is nothing wrong with it!
We fear of loosing our freedom. The mere though of committing to only one woman in your life can send us nuts sometimes. That is because we as men are independent by nature and by the way independency is one of the attractive male traits and that’s just another paradox.
And this is just the beginning. Men fear of having just one sex partner forever, as we crave for sexual variety and we fear sexual boredom. We also don’t want to lose our space or free time, or the time we used to spend with friends. Most man out there are just not ready for commitment, have been burned before from emotionally ill relationships or can’t trust women in general.
Are there any final words you would like to tell our readers? ….
I don’t want to sound like you’ve paid me to say this, but hey, read this blog. I believe Hot Alpha Female has some dating experience that she is willing to share and also she digs the topic, reads the books so she may offer you quality advice! Also, women around the world, explore yourself and your possibilities. Don’t be the next woman that just says “I don’t know what I want”, but instead understand what you respond to and make sure you feel great as women!