Its late and I’m tired. Yet this is when my creative juices are flowing the best! So here goes and please excuse any spelling mistakes(that goes for you lance!)So what do I mean to say that being real seals the deal?

Well I guess what I’m pointing at is that being vulnerable and honest makes you more able to relate to anyone and everyone on a wider basis. N I’ll cover the whole vulnerable thing with guys later on in this post.Putting dating and attraction aside, lets first just look at relating to people in general.

The fact is that when you show your own mis-forgivings first, talk about your own mistakes before criticizing someone elses and are empathetic to someone’s situation, you are able to relate to people a lot more. You are instantly much more likable.I think in business, in relationships and in life in general, we look at other people like they are impenetrable walls. We think that they are judgmental. We want to act cool and be above it all. Because that gives us a level of significance. When we get up and give a speech we want it to be perfect. We want to seem invincible.

Well here is the thing that I discovered, which I believe is one of the keys in being able to relate to people.

Be yourself, express who you really are and don’t be afraid to be different. I don’t know why we have it in our heads that we should be attempting to be someone that we are not. And the more that you can express your individualism the more that people will appreciate you for it.

Because you know what?

It takes guts to be who you really are. And when you have the guts to be yourself you also give that inspiration for someone else to do the same. Because you are able to accept yourself as you are and share that with them, they feel like they can do the same with themselves.

Your liberation helps to liberate others.

So how does all of this relate to dating?

Well it doesn’t ….

Just kidding =)

I guess in many ways for the girl, this means stop being so dam stuck up about yourself and just be genuine open and friendly. Stop being so guarded and be open to the possibility of have a nice and spontaneous conversation with a random guy that you just so happened to meet at the bus stop. Give more than you are willing to receive. Give someone a sincere compliment when you are given the opportunity. Attempt to make someone else’s day special. Stop judging and accept people for who they are. If you want to make an assumption about someone, make it a good honest and heart warming one.

Doing this will make you feel good. You know why? Coz it feels good to give.

And you know what feels even better than that??

Giving without the thought of receiving anything back. Giving for the sake of giving. Seriously guys you have to try it, its an amazing experience! Not only will it make your life fulfilling, but it will make you much happier. N well … what guy isn’t attracted to an open friendly and genuine girl?

Also it means, don’t try and be something that you are not. Don’t lose your sense of identity and individualism to please a guy. Don’t’ give up things that make you happy and that you enjoy to make someone else happy. Always remember to be real and to remember who you are.

Never forget that “ you are as good as the best and no better than the rest”.

Stop judging and start loving.

Now for the guys, I mentioned vulnerability. Well for you guys I’ll replace that word with honesty. I think that you really can still build attraction while being brutally honest with yourself and about yourself.

Its all about keeping it real.

No-one wants to be around a guy who lies or dodges the truth. N girls especially don’t like guys that have overly big ego’s and seem to have to win every fight and argument. Yes building attraction is about having a level of control, and I think in you retain that control, by being truthful and honest about who you are. Having a strong sense of self .. knowing your weaknesses and being able to acknowledge them, takes a lot of self esteem and confidence.

What girl doesn’t want that in her man?

So what do you guys think? You reckon vulnerability and honesty is a good or a bad thing in attracting an ideal partner or relating to other people in general? What have been some of your experiences with this?

Let me know your thoughts – because you know I’m listening.

Hot Alpha Female

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