This post I have to admit is inspired by Paige Parker the author of the e-book Dating Without Drama. She sends out a weekly newsletter that always answers some very valuable questions that her readers have.  One of the articles that I was reading from her .. was called “Things that can freak any guy out”.

After I finished a quiet chuckle, it really made me think about this issue.When it comes to dating there are so many rules and so many things that we could get totally wrong. The problem with girls, is that we start acting too needy and too commitment ready.
The problem with guys is that they start acting too needy and too wussy. In some ways you can see the similarities in this situation.But in this post I really wanted to cover some of the things, which I believe chicks do wrong when it comes to casually dating someone.

Number One Mistake – Having The Conversation
I’m sure there are a lot of girls out there that have made this mistake. Hey even I have!!! But after making it I was smart enough to realize that this was the surest way to screw up a potential relationship…

For those of you that don’t know what talk I’m talking about. I’m referring to the situation where you say to this guy your seeing “Where is this relationship going?”.

I know when it comes to new relationships it can be a scary and a vulnerable time, because we don’t know where we stand. But asking a guy this and pressuring him to be more committed than what he already is … is only going to make him run out the door.

Here’s the thing girls, guys don’t like to be pressured in that department. If they so much as smell the scent of a commitment crazed women, they are going to be out of there before you even get to finish the sentence.

Instead I would say that when you are dating, be happy with the pace of the relationship. Be excited that you don’t know where it is going. Be thrilled that to an extent you can’t plan how good or bad this relationship is going to be.

And the more that you sit back and relax, then the more the guy will want to take it to the next level. You just have to let him.

Of course there is always the chance that he isn’t into you as much as you are him. But if you find that he is taking his sweet ass time, then simply don’t attempt to pursue a long term relationship with this guy, because he isn’t worth it.

Number Two – Developing Amnesia
Heres the funny thing. When some chicks get into relationships. They all of a sudden get amnesia and forget who they are. They start being like their boyfriend or attempt to be something that they are not.

Let me just say that while there is myth that guys don’t like independent and confident women .. The truth is that they LOVE it. They don’t want some chick who just says yes to everything that they say. Who worships them and wants to spend all their free time with them.

Guys love girls that have their own life and their own sense of personality. They don’t want you to become more like them. A guy you are dating should like you just the way you are. No better and no less.

If you find someone who doesn’t appreciate you like this, then its probably best that you ditch them now.

Number three – Invading His Space
Don’t get me wrong. Starting to date someone is an exciting stage in the relationship. Especially during the honey moon phase. You know the period where you can’t stop thinking about him and your in goo goo gaa gaa land.

Even though your feelings at this point in time can be really strong its good to remember that you need to give your guy space.

Guys are a little slower in the commitment arena and like I said before they don’t like pressure. When you see them all the time and are in constant contact with them … this inkling thought comes across their mind that they are going to lose their independence and who they are as a person.

They start thinking that HE .. will become a WE .. and this scares him.

So my advice would be, even though you want to be with your guy 24/7, resist the temptation to be in contact with him all the time.

The best line that comes to mind in regards to this topic is “How can I miss you, if you wont go away!”.

Give the guy the gift of missing you … and you will notice that he will be much more appreciative of the time that you do get to spend together.

So with that said let me know what your thoughts are. Girls what have been your experiences with this? Guys do you agree with what I have to say .. do you have anything to add to it?

I would appreciate your thoughts and as always- I’m listening.

Hot Alpha Female

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