This is one of the responses to a great debate that Im having with Laura about Alpha Females. Here we talk about money, relationship equality and what this paradox of the Alpha Female is. Her response can be found at

What Would An Alpha Female Choose? For Love Or Money?

My Response: Hi Laura!
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Took me a little while to get into it, but ended up having a great day. So I’ve done my over socializing, over eating, over shopping and I’m back and ready to delve into some great discussion.

[Laura's Comment: Love is like pouring water into his cup and when it is full, he will pour it back to your cup.]

Girl this reminds me of something that John Gray talks about in “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” hahah. Ive heard so much about the book, but about a month ago was when I actually picked it up to read it. I think that relationships flourish when two whole people come together and share a group of commonalities together that brings them together and keeps the relationship growing. Too many times I see two people who think that they are only half a person without the other. Its like two starving people in a room trying to steal each others food! It just doesn’t work. N it leads to dependent relationships which I think can be quite unhealthy in the long term. N while obviously when u are in a long term relationship there will be times where you are more dependent on your partner for support and what not, because you have an open and loving relationship, but the whole idea of having to rely wholly on another person .. is something that Alpha Females definitely don’t appreciate and would not want to do. Coz we are all about independence in every way right? One of our greatest assets and greatest downfalls I think.

[Laura's Comment: I have seen couples who are more loving when they are struggling and when they became rich, their relationship suffered and ended up in divorce.]

The reason why I believe this to be true is not so much about the money exactly. I think that this happens because of some of the fundamental building blocks of relationships. One key factor that you need in a relationship is growth and in some sense a common goal. So I’m thinking when these two people were struggling, they had the common goal of making more money so that they could live better lives or what not. N while at times it could have caused more tension, ultimately it would have brought them closer together as they learned to support one another through the hard times. Now when they reach all the money and riches .. what common goal did they have in place together? They had everything they want, they could go do whatever they want. The husband begins to spend more time playing golf or whatever and the wife spends time with her girlfriends. Something that they couldn’t do before because they were so focused on reaching that common goal before. They grow apart, start to have more arguments … and wa-la we have a divorce on our hands. Now I’m not saying that its that simple and that is the only factor as to why a relationship may disintegrate, but I’m saying that its one of the major factors. The truth of the matter is, if a relationship isn’t growing then its dying. That applies to anything in life.

[Laura's Comment: What society expects from a rich and successful female may not be true for her. What is important is, she finds her true love. To hell with what others think! Society does not know what you want in your heart and others can think or judge whatever they want but it is your own personal life. The world does not owe you anything and you don’t have to follow what people expects from you.]

I totally 110% agree with this statement. I mean of course everyone wants to be accepted by society and blah blah but I think at the end of the day when you have high self esteem that what other people think of you doesn’t really matter at all. That is one thing that I realised over the weekend when I was talking to someone about my new job. It’s a great opportunity, a place where I can really learn and expand the area in which will ultimately become part of my wealth plan. However the response that I got from this person, was a kinda un-enthused “Yeh find something else” response. N I just thought to myself, who am I go through life by living for other peoples expectations? Are u serious? I mean how absurd does that sound, yet 99% of the population this is their primary aim. N in that moment I thought to myself or rather had to remind myself, that no – one elses opinion matters except your own. At the end of the day, when you look back on your life, YOU are the one that knows what you have accomplished and how much that has meant to YOU. The most important this is that YOU are proud of what you have achieved and the person that you are. Because no-one can take that away from you. Its yours and yours only. It is something that you have absolute control over. I love it how you say “ the world does not owe you anything and you don’t have to follow what people expects from you” *squeals* that’s such a hot statement!!!

[Laura's Comment: If you marry for money or materialism, your marriage will not last. You will be treated like a trophy wife and when he gets tired of you, he will hang you up on the wall like all those animal trophies from his Safari days. He will be looking for the next prey and he will not even look at you again.]

You know I have heard of so many stories of people going after the money. I have so many problems with this, its not funny. Firstly I don’t see the point. Why do u have to go after someones money, when u can make your own? Secondly why would you want to be in a relationship where one person has all the power. Say u marry someone with all the money and u don’t really have much at all. You are completely dependant on him. He in every sense, accommodates your needs and he in every sense can take that all away in a flash. Thirdly, guys usually want someone who is their equal, who they respect and who they can have a growing nurturing and wonderful relationship with. Otherwise just like you said Laura they get bored and move on! Life is all about challenge and it absolutely is about the journey as well. There is no point in life where u have it all, because as humans we always need to grow, there always needs to be the next level. N if u are in a relationship where u cant bring that next level? Well I don’t care how much money you have, how great your relationship is, it wont last.

So u know my answer to the question if for love or money. Its love every single time. Because money, well anyone can earn money. But being able to find someone who respects you for who you are, is willing to grow, share and support your own dreams and goals, who can grow old together with and lives fulfilling and whole lives. Well I’m sorry but money just cant buy that!!!

Hot Alpha Female =)

N remember “Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” – Addison

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