The Modern Alpha Female – Attracts Not Chases Her Ideal Man
This is one of my responses to one of Laura’s fantastic articles. All about Alpha Females and what they should be focusing on when they are getting into a relationship and while they are in one. Enjoy =)
Laura’s response to “Paradox Of The Alpha Female” can be found at
My Response: Hi Laura!
Thank you for your wonderful insight, it really got me thinking. Christmas was fantastic, But its summer over here in the Land of Oz I wish I had a winter Christmas though =)
[Laura's Comment: No man is an island. We can choose to live alone all through out our life by choice or by default. I do not hold the same view as you. My view of a relationship is both men and women complement each other and not totally dependent on each other. They should not feel like they are only half a person as both are strong in their departments.]
Girl! I don’t know why you say you don’t hold the same view as me because I’m not exactly saying that two people should be dependant on each other. I’m saying that it’s a bad thing if two people come together as half a person, try to get someone else to fill their own emotional needs. Its kind of like a girl getting into a relationship because she wants to have someone to love her, because she doesn’t love herself. That I think can be destructive, because it can mean that she will date anyone and everyone who can fulfill that need, but may not be good for her. I absolutely believe that we are not meant to go through this life alone and that everyone deserves a partner to walk through life with. I believe that loving another person in an intimate relationship, magnifies the quality of your life and is an absolutely essential part in having a full and fulfilling life.
[Laura's Comment: When you have one rod, it can break easily, but if you tie two rods together, it will need more strength to break them. When two people come together, they complement each other and will therefore be stronger to face the challenges in life]
I think that this is absolutely true! All I’m saying is that two WHOLE people should be coming together so that they can share their own full lives with each other. N when they come together, they can inspire, support, comfort and love each other which gives both of them a greater quality of life and like you say gives them more strength as individuals because of the wonderful relationship that they have. I believe that when you get into a relationship that you cant have the same mind frame of “yeah I’m single I’m independant, you are totally and completely separate to me”. I think that there is definitely compromise and adjusting, where two people kind of share something special and build a third entity between them, which is the “relationship”
[Laura's Comment: You are only an Alpha female because you are strong in the making money department]
To be an Alpha Female is a little more than just making more money than your man. I think that Alpha Females are a little more challenging that the average female and its not just because they make more money. I think that is has something to do with personality and certain standards. I think Alpha female have higher standards yes and they want to find someone who is their equal not on EVERY level but on some very important ones. For instance in my case, I’m really looking for someone who has extremely positive outlook on life, is ambitious and passionate about what he does. Now as an Alpha female I would happily date someone who was earning less than me but who had those qualities. Because to me that’s more important than all the money in the world. I would not look down on him just because he is earning less money that me, but I would respect him equally and see him more as my match because its his characteristics that I’m looking for that equality for. If that made sense. I guess having someone who is already extremely successful and therefore may be making more money that you is attractive to me BECAUSE it shows that he has had the drive and ambition to attract that into his life.
Part in parcel of attracting the right man, is not focusing on trying to find the perfect man for you. I mean why would a guy want to be with you? What makes you so special? These are questions that I ask myself, so that I can stop focusing on trying to find someone that fits a perfect mould and focus on ME being the type of person that my ideal guy would want to date. In many ways that is a very empowering feeling.
[Laura's Comment: You are a female and you do not have the male characteristics. No matter what you think you are, you are still a female and have only the female characteristics. There are still places that you cannot go or go alone unlike a man.]
This is very true and I think the one problem that females have in this modern world is that they try to take the role of the man. I mean how unattractive is that. I absolutely believe that men play a certain role in the relationship that cannot be replaced by a woman and vice versa. Many women who are aggressive in their careers and life ambition try to bring that into the dating world and it just doesn’t really work. Guys love the chase and how can they chase you when you are the one that is chasing them. Women these days attempt to be more masculine and be in control of the situation but I think that this counteracts the very purpose of what we are all about. So while I believe in equality in some areas, I think that there are some other areas that should be touched and left for the man to take care of. I mean most women want to feel like they are being taken care of by their man, women no matter how great they are still need a man for certain things that they themselves cannot do.
In the dating scene there is something empowering about letting a guy chase you. You of course do your best to attract him, but its more like a seduction rather than a full frontal attack. It also means that you know if a guy is really interested in you. I mean if he doesn’t bother to make the calls or schedule dates with you .. then hes not worth your time. Your better off going to do things that you enjoy doing or giving your attention to guys that are worthy of your time. While many women these days are feeling more empowered than ever in the area of their careers many more are being frustrated in the scene of dating. N its because they have the same frame of mind and “go get them” attitude in the work place and try to fit that into the dating scene. It just doesn’t work
Hot Alpha Female
N remember “Alas! the love of women! It is known, to be a lovely and fearful thing! – Lord Byron